This morning I found a "wink" in my Christian Cafe (henceforth to be known as CC) inbox from a gentleman whose screen name was Piratejjv. I was immediately intrigued as I pictured a dashing Johnny Depp leaping out of my computer to whisk me away to an exotic island. I surfed to his profile where I opened the first picture and was promptly greeted by his mug shot. He had cropped out the little black sign with the numbers that they hold up in front, but I KNOW it was his mug shot. There he was in all his incarcerated glory with a black patch over his right eye. Pirate.....uh huh. Please understand I'm not discriminating against one-eyed men (although I am a bit more discriminating about one-eyed worms), I was more concerned about the mug shot. I wonder if he lost his eye in the joint. And then I had a horrifying thought, I hope he wasn't doing anything dangerous when he winked at me, he could be missing a hand now too. I don't understand what drives me to continue this ridiculous charade. Perhaps it feeds my daily need for humor. However, sometimes men can be cruel when protected by the facade of a website. I sent a simple message to a man whom I thought was sort of cute and his response to me was "I'm sorry, I don't date overweight women". I was appalled and terribly hurt at first, but then my anger took over and I shot back "hey, that's cool, I understand. I myself don't really care for men with receding hair lines" . I received this LONG email filled with apologies for being so insensitive. I obviously found HIS sore spot! I think I'm probably addicted to the internet. But that's ok, I've dealt with many addictions in the past. Right now I'm battling an addiction that has returned. They say that when you give up one addiction, you are merely trading it for another. They are so right. That ugly, evil addiction that I thought I had kicked years ago is returning. It is an overwhelming addiction that ruled my life back in those days. When I got divorced, I thought I had moved on and no longer needed that crutch. But out of the clear blue, it came back. What is this awful albatross around my neck???? Counted Cross Stitch. I spend hours searching for the perfect chart, then the perfect fabric, then the perfect floss. I can surf hours on the 'net looking for it (if the internet had been readily available in the early '90s, I would be a thread bum on skid row now). When I finally have the perfect combination, I then must have the perfect floss organization tool. I've been through punch cards, rings, binders, boxes, you name it. I have recently found the best system ever and like a true addict couldn't tell you the name of it if my life depended on me. I am once again obsessed with owning every color DMC makes. BUT in the 8 years since I've been stitch free, the world of cross stitch has changed. The fabric that I could only get mail order and paid a fortune for can be found at Wal-mart. There are local shops that stock such a variety of fabric and threads that I couldn't have even imagined it in my early days. Don't let anyone kid you - cotton embroidery floss IS a gateway thread to more expensive fibers. If silk thread could be snorted, it would be up my nose. Eight years has taken its toll on me, or should I say my eyes. I now need better lighting and perhaps magnification. I was consumed with finding the perfect lamp to assist me (still haven't found it). I must continue looking this week. I will set up the perfect location once I have found the perfect lamp. When I finally settle down with my tools, I will start my project. I cannot believe I have fallen again, after all these years. I pray that I get ahold of myself before I go bankrupt buying silk floss.