So far this year I have missed every family gathering. My nephew is having a St Patrick's Day party and birthday party for my Dad who turned 88 today. It is cold and rainy here today and I feel like crap, as usual. I really wanted to make it tonight! Do I go and suffer probably for days from it? Or do I stay home, as usual? I just told my Mom I was hurting and might not go and she said "I knew you wouldn't make it!". That hurt, nobody understands how I feel or why I miss so many parties. I'd love to see everyone, I just don't know what to do.