Sick and my life has gone down the tubes

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by msbsgblue, May 16, 2010.

  1. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    So a lot of you have known me for a long time.

    I am having a really bad flare after my husband decided that he no longer wanted me to live in his house because we did not agree on money issues after I began getting my S.S. I don't understand since he knows what I go through as he has the same illnesses I do, we met here some years ago.

    For those ladies that are alone and on very limited income, my social security is small, how are you managing to get housing and utilites, meds, go to the doctor and all the things that a younger senior citizen needs?

    I had to move home to Missouri in an old 84 F250 truck that he bought me because he had forced me to sell my newer truck when we got married. The darn thing is needing work already so that is another issue and it is not paid for so I cannot sell it and get something that runs better.

    I am currently living in a 1 1/2 room finished basement apartment at my daughter's but I know this is temporary, and that she expects me to get on my feet and move out in a few months.

    How does one go about getting on one's feet with 2 credit card payments a month, the truck insurance (he is "suppose" to pay the truck payment) but I am to pay for insurance. Then I had to put my things in storage so there is that payment, my meds I can get help with but that takes time. I lost my health insurance when I left WA state to come home.

    I AM LITERALLY AT THE END OF MY ROPE. I am totally freaking out.

    He made me promise that when I file for divorce that I would not ask for alimony since he is paying a big $101. payment a month on that truck.

    He gets about $700. a month or more then I do. This is just not fair.

    I am terrified, don't know who or where to turn to. I am going to have to get out of this basement apt since my knees are so bad and already the going up and down is making me so much worse.

    If you know of any or many resources please, please let me know here.

    Does anyone know how little one might have to pay if they get housing assistance? I will say that I get less then $600. a month. I have heard it rumored that some people only pay about $40 a month for senior rentals that are nice, but I cannot imagine that.

    I am going to need utility, phone, meds, medical, housing assistance and then some. Have any of you been through this, and how long did it take to get on your feet.

    The ideal situation would be if I could find another senior lady in my position and we could share an apartment.

    Just need input and ideas on what to do and in what order to do them.
  2. bobbycat

    bobbycat New Member

    See if you can get assistance of some kind since you are below the poverty level. I would apply immediately and see if they can give you emergency help. Good luck to you and I am sorry you are going through this. Make sure you haven it put in the divorce that he is to make the truck payment and if there is just a short time left maybe he can help you at least get started in a place ask him if he could
  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    that this is how things have turned out.

    Separating is devastating enough without all the other problems, I am so sorry he has put you in a VERY unfair position it seems.

    I would get a good lawyer if I were you, as you do not 'have' to do anything other than what is fair. Please take a stand for yourself, don't just go to the first lawyer and definitely don't use the same lawyer since what he wants is not fair to you.

    Don't forget also you need to eat; food stamps are pretty minimal in most states. In Georgia, they only allow about $140/month. Not sure what housing is, but of course it varies by state. Hopefully there is a senior complex available, but I'm sure all the states have a waiting list.

    all the best,

    [This Message was Edited on 05/16/2010]
  4. Elisa

    Elisa Member


    There's lots of resources out there - here's a great one to find help:

    Also, most ultilities and phone - gas, electric etc - have special discounts/low income discounts for those eligible. Just visit their website or call their 800 number - that should cut some bills down.

    Also...Call your credit cards and ask for your rate to be lowered - or go to a Consumer Credit Counseling agency - and they negotiate for you.

    Get food help (at the above site too)... it now called "The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)" (the new name for the federal Food Stamp Program). There are food pantries too - here's a resource:

    Your county housing authority - they can determine housing options.

    There are also Homelessness Prevention Programs that provide grants for those that can't afford housing and also call the outreach dept of your Cathlic Diosese - or Lutheran Social Services or Jewish Family Services.

    Meds and Medical - call your dept of human or social services - just apply to see what you may qualify for...SSI, Medicaid etc. There are free clinics in all areas and prresciption assistance programs (for meds).

    There are many more...

    Just keep asking and digging and you'll find help...and praying!

    God Bless,

    [This Message was Edited on 05/16/2010]

    LEFTYGG Member

    We have senior housing thats beautiful but a long waiting list.They charge one third your income and meds are deducted. I hope you can work this out. love gail
  6. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    I am just distraught right now. I think here in Missouri I can get $175. in food as long as I cook just for myself even though I am temporarilily living in my daughter's little basement apt.

    It would be nice if I could just stay here, but the stairs are tearing up my already shot knees. I have a tiny toy poodle and she has to go up and out several time a day. No, I wouldn't EVEN consider giving her up. I groom her myself so that is not an expense.

    She is really all I have. She has been the glue that so far is holding me together. My daughter is not a real supportive person. She is more like her father so you cannot really talk to her.
  7. Maryfibro2004

    Maryfibro2004 New Member

    I kone that some states of what they call hud houseing where I live we pay 437.00 mo but are heat and water is incloud in rent. But they go base on what you make. Where my brother lives he makes about he pays 19 in rent and thats vere think all utilityhe pays 240 for his food that they make for him it lunch and dinner he just needs to do brafast.I wish i could live there but i have two kids. His apartnents are for Disabled and Retirement. i hoped this helps. if you need more ifo let me know.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/17/2010]
  8. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    I don't have any advice but wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear this.

    You are getting some good advice.

    You are in my thoughts.


    The roommate situation might work out. I lived with a friend for a year who rents out one of her rooms and when someone moved out she suggested I rent it. This really worked out but like I said we were friends before this. How about looking for a room where you would have access to the house. What size town do you live in?
    [This Message was Edited on 05/17/2010]
  9. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    About 30,000 population. I was thinking more of finding a roommate to share a senior 2 bedroom apt.
  10. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    msbsgblue - so sorry to hear of your problems. I had to move into my sister's home almost a year ago with the same problem.

    As far as utilities go, you can usually get help with these. If you call the individual companies and explain your circumstances, more than likely they will do a poverty level assessment, then give you a price.

    I go to Connection to Care for free medications.

    Have you talked to your local Welfare Office?
  11. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I want to tell you how badly I feel that youre going through this. Please just take care of yourself. Youve gotten some great advice here. I just wanted to tell you about the Independent Living centers. Dont know if MO has them or not. Here its called Oklahomans for Independent Living. They have resources I didnt know about. And I dont know how it works but arent you supposed to be able to dial "211" on your phone and be able to find local resources? Your local senior citizen center will serve lunch free of charge if youre disabled. You dont necessarily have to be a senior citizen. I so hope everything works out for you. Hang in there and please let us know how youre doing.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/17/2010]
  12. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    I applied for and was approved for both food assistance and for Missouri Health Net today. The health program is going to be a God send. My prescriptions is have a .50 co-pay yes that is fifty cents. My doctor visits will be $3., ER or hospital $10. There is some help for dental and vision as well.

    I went to look at the senior housing here, most of them are 2 years old and absolutely beautiful. I will go get my application tomorrow or Monday. She told me that right now they do not have much of a waiting list. Wish me luck on this, the places are not only new but beautifully landscaped with scrubs and flowers all over.
  13. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    In addition to what Fredt told you, you can also apply for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) through Social Security. Your Social Security Disability is below poverty level so you should qualify easily. Apply ASAP for this and the housing. Good Luck.
  14. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I think the most ssi will do is make up the difference between what the allotment in your state is and the amt of your social security. might be something. Your state might offer a supplemental check for disabled ppl since you qualified for help. Ask your dept of human services. Its only roughly 42 bucks but it helps. Im glad things are looking up. Hope you get a gorgeous apt and your rent is low!
  15. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    The is a food program nation wide. I believe the full name is Angel Food ministries. You can buy a pretty good size box of food for $30.00. They have different selections and you can choose more than one, and if you are eligible food assistance they accept that...or cash of course.

    I believe thats the addy:) I'm so sorry that this happened, I wish you all the best...I'll keep you in my prayers.

  16. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    You don't get it until your disability is approved here. If I not been married and applied at the time I applied for SSD I would have gotten it then. But, since I waited as I did not qualify then, it will now be a back pay check just like my SSD when I get it.