Sick of People Saying Cruel Things to Me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by TeaBisqit, Oct 11, 2008.

  1. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    My cousin's latest thing was to tell me this week that she doesn't allow "negative and bad things in her life", therefore, she cannot speak to me since my illness is a negative and bad thing. This was after I told her I had been very sick for several days with the severe low blood pressure and couldn't stand up.

    Would this bother anyone else? Cause it has bugged me all week. Not to mention, I think it's mentally ill to live in a fantasy world where you don't allow anything you consider bad or negative to ever be spoken of. What happens when one of them finally gets hit with something? Will they curl up and die? I don't know, but I think it's not too normal to hide from the world.

    I am just so sick of people treating me like garbage, particularly relatives. It could have been them that got sick. The difference is, I wouldn't have treated them like crap. But now knowing what I know and the kind of people they are, I wouldn't give them snow in the winter.

    I will never understand how people can be so cold, cruel, and lacking any form of compassion. Are they even human?
  2. cordy250

    cordy250 Member

    that statement from your cousin is so absurd that it made me roll my eyes and laugh.

    Don't let silliness like that hurt you. Your cousin simply isn't going to get very far in the "real world" with an atitude like that.

    Everything around us has good and bad about it. Excluding all "bad" things from her life will quickly end her up in a very narrow world.

    Sounds like a very young person. Even if she isn't, it's a very immature phase.

    Cut her loose and don't look back and for pete's sake, don't let an idiotic statement like that hurt you. Your cousin is going to have a lot to deal with shortly!!
  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Is she some how related to some members in my family?

    I know it hurts because even tho we have this board we still want our family to understand.

    Sometimes I wondered if it scares them.

    Stay who you are a good caring sick person. If they get hit with something likely they will fall apart.

  4. Bluebottle

    Bluebottle New Member

    I wonder if she would be so cruel if you had cancer.

    You do not need this toxic person in your life, let her go.
  5. Junegal

    Junegal New Member

    She is reading the book "The Secret" where you can't associate with imperfect people. If you talk to someone fat, you'll become fat. NICE way to live.

    I agree, limit contact with her. You don't need her dellusional ways or negativity.

    I've been told many times that if I would just "think positive" I wouldn't be sick. Um, okay.

    When people ask how I am, I say "the same, doing the best I can" and change the subject. I don't want to lie and say "fine" and I know no one wants to hear about my problems. I tell very few people the truth, the ones I know WANT to know how I am.

    This illness has helped me to realize who my true friends are, that is for sure.
  6. Engel

    Engel New Member

    They have NO CLUE and choose not to accept my illness and will not learn about it. They are very rude to me actually.
  7. Lillie17

    Lillie17 New Member

    A therapist I know, who also has CFIDS, says that people often avoid us because at some unconscious level they fear that they might become disabled, they fear that they are not in control - which of course is true.

    Our illness reminds people that there are things in the world over which we have no control.

    Your cousin sounds very, very afraid. How sad for her when she finally must face something frightful she cannot escape.

    But -- her very childish and insensitive attitude should not be thrust upon you. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I know from experience it does hurt when our family does not or will not understand.

    And your telling of a recent event with the low blood pressure doesn't sound like whining. It is normal to tell what happened to us, or is happening to us, that day or within the past day or so.

    I learned a lot from a brother-in-law, who had childhood-onset diabetes, on how to do this. He had some horrendous symptoms. He would tell us of a particular symptom or episode with a pleasant look on his face and then make some light-hearted joke or comment about it.

    We were left in a place of being expected to continue the conversation in a positive way. It was clear he did not want us to be come somber or melancholy, but the impact of the seriousness of his illness always came through.

    We were left with no other way to react but to love him and admire him. I wish I could be like him!

    I know the other day when my mother called and asked Are you better? (my most hated question!) I answered, "No, I'm still shot." And then I sang (to the tune of If you're happy and you know it..") If you're shot and you know it, clap your hands."

    That left my mother not having to be sad about me. She said, Oh you are doing so well on learning acceptance.
    Not sure I am doing that well on acceptance, but my silly response made a better conversation for both of us.

    All the best for all of you,

    [This Message was Edited on 10/12/2008]
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  8. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    This cousin of yours is mixed-up....she is the one that is thinking negative...of is fine to think well thoughts but to judge another is not right....See now I am judging her...oops you know what I mean..She is the one that has a not lend your energy to her abusive behavior...You can not control someones thinking, but you can control your response to it. Just bless her...and give no more thought to her....I like to visualize big "bombs of light" and I throw them at people that treat me bad...maybe they will see the light!
  9. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    Thanks for the replies. I have no place else to tell what's happening. Unfortunately, all of my relatives are like that. The whole clan. And they've all been blessed with health and money and great lives, so they can't understand or relate.

    My birthday is tomorrow and not one of them cares. It's my second one without my mother. They didn't care about last year's either. They all suck. All I ever hear out of them is the same thing. They ask if I'm working yet. They tell me to never speak of my illness ever. I was told not to try to educate them. In fact, my aunt was completely enraged that I had sent them info on the illness. They all want to pretend that we are faking our illness and it doesn't exist. And I think they are the sick ones. They should all be locked up in a nuthouse.
  10. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    who is the most guily towards me.
    he hurts my feelings so much all the time
    that sometimes i wonder
    if id be 'better' if we was apart.
  11. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I hope you have more happiness this year.

    Sorry to hear your cousin is being so mean still. I think the best you can do is just consider the source and try to limit your exposure to her. I know it's hard since all of your relatives are like that. I'm thinking of you and hoping you better times are ahead for you.