SIGNS apropros & witty

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, May 28, 2010.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I'd love to know if any of these are real. Most I think have been around but inc ase you missed any...

    Apropos Signs

    In a Gynecologists Office

    " Dr. Jones , at your cervix."


    In a Podiatrist's office:

    "Time wounds all heels."


    On a Septic Tank Truck:

    "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"


    At a Proctologist's door:

    "To expedite your visit, please back in."


    On a Plumber's truck:

    "We repair what your husband fixed."


    On another Plumber's truck:

    "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


    On a Church's Bill board:

    "7 days without God makes one weak."


    At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

    "Invite us to your next blowout."


    At a Towing company:

    "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We just want tows."


    On an Electrician's truck:

    "Let us remove your shorts."

    ******** ******************

    In a Nonsmoking Area:

    "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


    On a Maternity Room door:

    "Push. Push. Push."


    At an Optometrist's Office:

    "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


    On a Taxidermist's window:

    "We really know our stuff."


    On a Fence:

    "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"


    At a Car Dealership:

    "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


    Outside a Muffler Shop:

    "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."


    In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

    "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


    At the Electric Company

    "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

    However, if you don't, you will be."


    In a Restaurant window:

    "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."


    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

    "Drive carefully. We can wait."


    At a Propane Filling Station:

    "Thank heaven for little grills."


    And don't forget the sign at a


    "Best place in town to take a leak."


    However, HERE is my personal favorite:

    Sign on back of Septic Tank Truck:
    This tank is full of political promises

  2. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I just love those! Way back when i was driving down camp bowie bv in ft worth tx. Passed a movie marquee that read "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" and directly under that..."now accepting applications". I won 50 bucks from submitting it to star magazine.
  3. bigmama2

    bigmama2 New Member


    good stuff!
  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Utterly charming. Thank you too many.

    I think we can rule out some of these as actual signs. How many doctors,
    utilities or funeral homes do you know that would display a sense of humor?
    The rest seem possible if not probable.

    I saw a photo on Youtube: Sing on a fence said : Do not post signs on this fence.

    A bike shop might use this: That old bike of yours should be retired.

    A bookstore might hang this in the poetry dept. Poetry written upside down
    is inverse. A poem of only one line is universal.

    Here's another sign I saw somewhere:

    6 Donuts for $4.
    Limit two.

    And now I must sign off.

  5. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    Lol! Keep em coming!
  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Rock, you are SO good with words.
    you could've had a career as a writer/witticist...