SILLY Christmas Jokes... the sillier the better!!!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Dec 11, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Some new, some old, still funny, imho...

    There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of his palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!"

    Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting."

    (you have an idea of what's coming, don't you?)
    The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and 'Rudolph the Red' knows rain, dear!"

    Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the 2 boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.


    His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

    The Criss family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnu's ears were forward at nightfall on Dec. 24th, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant that an unlucky or very unhappy year was sure to come.

    One year it was young Mary's first turn to look and come up with the prediction. In her excitement, she forgot to take the key to the cage and was therefore a bit late in coming to check on the gnu.

    Well, because she was late and it was already dark, she saw the ear position incorrectly. The end result was Mary predicted a bad year, when in fact it was quite good.

    (you must know what's coming, don't you??)
    To explain the error, the local newspaper ran the following headline a year later:



    Rudolph, Santa's red-nosed reindeer, had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks.

    However it wasn’t his glowing red nose that he wanted changed. He was proud of his nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear for that matter.

    (you have to know by now what's coming, don't you???)
    So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the reconstructive surgery procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been celebrated as ... New Ears Day.


    Hope you got a few laughs!

    [This Message was Edited on 12/11/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 12/14/2006]
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    bumping up... I KNOW there are others who like word plays... I think?

    Or am I outta sync here and these aren't funny, lolol?

    pitifully laughing out loud to herself...

  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    why people groan at puns. They are often the product of great wit. Sheakeaspere certainly liked them, as in:

    Now is the winter of our discontent made summer by this son of York.

    Here are some Christmas puns I found on the net:

    What is an occupational disease for Santa?

    How did Santa get lost?

    What camera does Santa use?

    How did the old boy do at the comedy club?

    1) The flue.

    2) He was misled.

    3) A north Poleroid.

    4) He sleighed 'em.
  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    loved the puns! I agree about the groans... but sometimes I think it's cuz they hit the funny bone so hard that all people can do is gasp and turn it into a groan?

    Thanks Linda, I've been sorta "hit 'n miss" lately around here, which is why I haven't dropped in on the 'porch' thread since the first one; nope, no copyrights, I just like to pass 'em around :)

    I've had some long days taking my son to Atlanta (a mere 75 miles each way) for all day, he's trying hyperbaric oxygen (HBOT) for chronic lyme, hoping to give the abx a push. Altho my DH and I switch off, the days 'off' I spend recuperating!

    Yes, I would love to know what your DH got a shot of - only one shot? Did he have an infection? ... I am thinking the guai, which I've been trying just for the mucus thinning property, is not having an effect after all sadly... the only 2 things that I know yet to try is the HBOT since I don't have an infection and/or amphoterecin nasal spray for possible fungal infection, and which has to be compounded (but have to find a dr. to rx it for me)...

    all the best,
  5. foggyfroggy

    foggyfroggy Guest

    What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman with a polar bear?


    courtesy of my 7 year old.

  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    the sillier the better!!!

  7. Denamay

    Denamay New Member

    Questian: What does Santa do in his summer garden?
    Answer: Hoe,hoe,hoe.
    Greetings from Denamay