Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, Jan 7, 2006.
Why is it so darn difficult?
I thought you said SIMPLE!!!! lol!
That was way too Zen for me and my pain.
so he makes things difficult so that we will give in. Oh..and if possible cause us to blame God. That's my feelings on it anyway.
[This Message was Edited on 01/07/2006]
... even with the pain and the loss of so much with this DD I still think what life must be like for those living in war torn countries, or third world countries, countries where females have NO rights at all, ill or not, or even in the terrible slum areas here in the USA, women with kids who try to get out but cannot, and they must have illnesses, no insurance etc.-look at the Katrina people, who cannot get back to anything, some have all sorts of illnesses too. At least we all have computers, electricity etc. a roof over our heads. I do sometimes wonder "Why me?" and then I immediately think of those so much worse off, although some on the boards here, seem to be in incredible pain with multiple illnesses, and I feel so sorry for them, and I think I am so much better off than they are, just having the Lupus and FM and that tends to come in flare ups, so I occasionally get some good days. My good thoughts to all who suffer.
I may be one of those people soon with no home, no electricity, no heat, as it is I treat myself to one good meal a week.
I can't pay the bills even though I bust my butt every day. Sorry folks, life ain't grand here.
I've ruled out trying to meet someone so as not to burden him with my health problems.
I will live and die alone or with my fur-babies which will be taken care of if something happens to me.
i would like to live alone even tho it might mean living as you have to. it is hard to take care of this small house and my small family. i have problems with loading a dishwasher or on bad days, doing laundry. what is a bad day? one that leaves me thinking my limitations are getting worse. then i come to my senses and realize as we grow older, everyone has limitations, even those so called healthy people. my wanting to live alone is from when i did and loved it. then i got preg and married. my relationship is not abusive except for the lack of companionship. that really hurts the heart for me. it is like being surrounded but alone.
tigger 57, everyday you wake up and you are still breathing, know that you make a difference in others lives. even if you never see those people. some of them are us on this board. i am only one of them. thanks you really are an unseen friend.
AND I'M SENDING A BIG TEDDY BEAR ONE YOUR WAY...
I know what you are trying to convey...It's all too hard to deal with all day, every day...Some people are still trying to fight to work and stay afloat while others are financially ok while others are barely scraping by and going deeper into debt...
I don't know if it will get easier for you soon, I hope so.
I read your posts and can relate, when you HAVE to work to live and get sicker doing it...I did that! Then like someone else mentioned, I threw my hands up, couldn't do it anymore, no choice, had to stop...House to pay, $30k in credit card debt, a sick husband, a sick lil boy and me, the walking dead...
Healthwise, I'm sick...I lost my boy last year...My hubby's been okay AND money came from a surprising place...We stay afloat somehow all while fighting this crazy world and the people in it...And do I have to mention these dd's trying to keep us down?
To make you feel better, I SIMPLY sent you a BIG HUG and it wasn't DIFFICULT at all...Love, Alicia
PS. EDDY AND JAKE might need some extra hugs from Mama tonite...Everything will be allright...
[This Message was Edited on 01/08/2006]
I saw this bumper sticker once that said "LIFE SUCKS, THEN YOU DIE."
Unfortunately, that is so true for sooooo many people. The majority of the people do not have an easy life. The biggest problem that families have is financial worries. All expenses have gotten so out of hand that the average person can not afford to do anything. Medical and dental costs are outrageous, as well as housing, transportation, and even recreation.
An "average" family can't even afford to take a family of 5 to the movies! By the time you pay for the gas to get to a movie theater, tickets for everyone to get in, drinks and snacks, and a stop at McDonald's on the way home, you have spent a minimum of $75.00!!!!
Then you become a senior and your income is cut drastically. It's hard to live off just a pension, or social security, disability, etc.
When my mother became a widow, her widow's pension benefit was drastically cut and the SS check was modified. My father only left a small life insurance policy. When he retired, the company gave him a small policy, but if you wanted more, you had to pay the premium which was quite high. It was enough to cover his burial, pay off all of the final doctor and hospital bills, but not much more. Now, my mother lives almost on the poverty level, but receives too much to qualify for any programs. She is too prideful to apply for any anyway.
Now some of the largest companies in the US are talking about freezing company pensions in order to compete more with other large corporations.
The company that I retired from, which is huge, is now telling all new hires that NOT to count on a company pension to be their full means of support when they retire. They say that it is just as much the employee's responsibility to prepare for their retirement as it is the company's--in fact, they stress that it is MORE of the employee's responsibility. They stress to start all of the 401K programs, life & disability insurance programs, as well as "extended care" (in case you go to a nursing home) type policies.
My SIL works for this company, too, and is putting a lot in the 401K, etc., since he figures there won't be a pension plan available when he retires, but then a huge part of his check is going to all that stuff! He wonders what you are supposed to raise your family on!!
Life is definitely not simple.
Tigger, you might have to do what a lot of people are doing now -- take in a border. If you could find the "right" type of person and one who you could get along with, someone paying for half of the household expenses would definitely help. However, there goes all of your privacy. I, personally, value my privacy to do that. But if things get desperate, you have to do what you have to do.
Hope things begin to look up for you, Tigger.
Sure is difficult if you get sick!!!!!!!!!!!! Then it;s more like a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!
for the longest time, i've viewed my illness as one long tumble down a rocky hillside. today i thought to myself how stunningly beautiful the valley might look once i get to the bottom. lots of soul work been done here. i just have to get my body to cooperate!
Because if it weren't, we wouldn't know how to appreciate the good that comes our way.
I agree with you, life is just going to get rockier. I really hate this. I know I will live to see how my children have succeeded in their lives, but I am so afraid of what shape this country will be in when they reach near retirement age.
Some in my family are having it tough. However, my husband and I have no financial problems or worries. We are very fortunate to be in the position that we are in--but nothing was given to us, we worked our hind ends off for it.
If anything happens, it will be to my pension. He is still working and things are much different for him--he works for the state government.
I just worry about my children's future--their retirement plans and pensions (if any), if there will be Social Security then, what state will the health insurance be in by them, and all that good stuff.
Of course, as a parent, I don't want any of them to go through tough times.
I am really saddened to hear that your retirement account has been raided. That type of info makes me so angry. It just wants me to wish ill will to every person involved in these type decisions--hoping they will lose their fortunes and security, and end up down and out.
I hope it never gets to the point that you brought up in your last sentence .... that in this country it's going to be every man, woman, and child out for themselves. But I am afraid that you are going to be right.
All people, especially the younger generation who are just now beginning their working careers, should most definitely get ready for an uncertain financial future.
I agree with your, Dianna, that we should be positive. The people in our country ARE good people (we're not counting the politicians and the top super-executives who know nothing about the real world when they make their corporation decisions), and we all have a brain (except for those previously mentioned!).
Hope for the best but definitely, definitly, plan for the worse, when you are planning for your, and your family's, long-term future. Your quality of life during retirement may be all up to your actions now.
Unfortunately, we old-timers are too late for the advance planning now!!
Bill Gates and Jack Welch have been awarded huge tax cuts. I think that makes us all feel better knowing that they can now afford another yacht, even though there have been cuts in Medicaid and food stamps, in addition more than forty million americans who do not have health insurance (myself included).
Just thought I would put things in perspective.
There would be no challenges too overcome or come to terms with in dealing with difficultys positives do come eventually though through the fog they seem hard too recognize, even for the well off they still complain just as much as us that life is sooo difficult just have to appreciate that whilst where still breathing we have a life.
A big hug to all to have posted who are going through rough times. I am in the same boat as all of you.
I just try to remember God won't allow Satan to put more trouble on us than we can handle.
I try to remember that life is temporary...we are not home yet!
God did not put the problems on Job if you remember.
Satan was telling God how bad all the people were and that God should just wipe out the whole world. God said have you considered my servant JOB...
Satan argued with God...oh yeah right Job well...you give him every thing he wants why should'nt he bless you...and then God bragged on Job and said Job is a just man and does right that is why I bless him....satan say yeah right...remove your hand and you will see that Job will curse you.... and God said do what you will but do not take his life...satan took his wealth, his family, and then his health...and Jobs friends advised him to just curse God and die...Job simply said The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.
I would love to be like Job but am afraid I am not strong enough.
Well...that turned into a sermon... I am sorry but if it helps to know I am sitting here crying now...I needed that sermon and that reminder too. Sometimes when thing go wrong it might be more then God testing us. It might be that God was bragging on us to satan!
I think it is kind of neat when you think that God love Job enough to brag on him when talking to satan..."...have you considered my faithful servant Job?..." Can't you just picture God bragging about his child? Gives me goose bumps to think that God loves us enough to brag about us....
I wonder if I can ever be good enough for God to brag on me?
(((((((((hugs to tigger57))))))))))) we love you tigger...hang in there and know that when there is nothing else to hang onto you still have God.
You know I asked myself that Question along time ago and finally have come to realize it could be worse. You see I have (ready ) I have Hiv and I also have Karposi Sarkoma Cancer, I have Fibromyalgia I have Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome I have asthma and Broncitus I have 5 compressed dics in my back I have a bulgeing disc in my neck and a slipped disc in my neck also. I have subluction of the shoulder (both sides) I have Osteoarthritis in my hips and both knees and ankles I have Rheumatoid Arthritis in most joints I also suffer from cronic migraines and last but not least I am Bi Polar Manic DepressiveI. whew That was a mouth full. I know you thinking all that how could it be any worse I mean I broke up with my partner of 12 yrs about a yr ago I been trying to get dissability for almost a year now still fight it. Im in the process of having to have all my teeth pulled to get dentures. and I still say It could be worse. I could be in a third world country and not have the dr's I have now I could have live in New Orleans and have lost everything I could lose one of my leggs or an arm i mean there are lots of things that could make it worse and I have to keep that in mind every time something else comes up. Something I hope every one can see and you really have to look at it deep <IT COULD BE WORSE> Just my bit for you all Steve
[This Message was Edited on 01/12/2006]
do NOT give up trying to meet someone. My boyfriend is great with my health problems. i met him about 3 months prior to my FM becoming full blown. he has stuck with me every step of the way and goes out of his way to help in any way he can! its almost as if he like my DD, it makes him feel needed lol
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