Sleep Problem and my Sweet Husband

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Juloo, Nov 19, 2006.

  1. Juloo

    Juloo Member

    DH *is* a sweetie. But here's the problem.

    My sleep is terrible. I need all I can get.

    My husband sleeps just fine (seemingly). He wears a CPAP at night, is very quiet, and by all that I can see, sleeps like the dead. In fact, he sleeps so deeply that he recently ditched his electronic alarm clock and went back to the winding kind that has a little hammer between bells that jangles REALLY LOUD to wake him up.

    The first part of the problem is...he has to get up 15 to 30 minutes before me. The second part of the problem is...he likes to CUDDLE.

    I don't mean he likes to lean over and give me a quick squeeze. No, he likes to cuddle for a 1/4 hour...so much so that he sets him alarm clock even EARLIER so that he will wake up and have time to cuddle before he has to get up.

    I don't mind cuddling at night. I like that he's so sweet and affectionate. But this morning, I'd been lying awake for at least 45 minutes, trying to get back to sleep...just drifing off...and that HORRIBLE alarm went off and just kept going and going and going (he'd put it on the far side of the night stand so he couldn't just slap it off, he'd have to get up and take care of it. So it went on forever before he dealt with it, and by this time, the cat saw there was movement, and she jumps up on me and starts howling for food, and I had to go to the bathroom really bad, and I just HAD IT!

    So not only is there this horrible alarm that there is NO WAY to sleep through so I can have an extra 30 minutes of sleep. But he is setting it earlier so he can disturb me even more by cuddling!

    (BTW, I have never been considered a 'morning person'.)

    Has anyone got any suggestions? (I've offered to set my own alarm and hit him with a 2 by 4 to get him up, but he didn't care for that solution.) I'd like to keep both my husband and my cat, and I'd kind of like to stay in the same room. But if I can't come up with some kind of solution, I'm going to de-camp to the guest room soon!
    [This Message was Edited on 11/20/2006]
  2. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    I haven't slept in my husband and mine's bed for about 6 months. I miss it. I sleep on the couch. I have tried to sleep in the bed a few times and it hurts way to much.
    That and if I sleep in our bedroom the critters follow. I love my animals, but sleep is hard enough let alone trying to share with critters that hog the bed!

    My hubby and I talked the other night. I miss him, but he knows how much pain I am in. He also knows I hate sleeping alone, so some nights he sleeps in the recliner in the livingroom with me. (Sweet)

    I don't know the answer for you. Maybe sleep in the guest room a few nights and your husband might miss you enough that he would understand the problem with the alarm clock, and cuddling. Maybe explain if their are mornings you can and feel like cuddling (since not a morning person) you could let him know by cuddling him.

    I hope it all works out, and I think it will. We feel like we are alone so much of the time that it is hard to be seperated from our husbands.

    Take care and Blessed Be,
    Laurie
  3. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    I experience a very similar regime evry morn, but my husband works very inconsistant shift work so it's a different time all the time. Maybe if you're aware you need a very refreshing sleep you couold sleepp in the spare room or couch occasionally. My husband took it a bit personally when I suddenly didn't want to be touched/cuddled, ETC... the mornings are the worst as I'm unmedicated(when neccesary of coarse), I have IBS and generally need alot more sleep than i ever did before. I find I'm getting better at not waking, or being able to fall back asleep, although I don't work(have 4 young kids though). I do get a nap in the afternoons.
    My husband dug out an alarm clock the other day with a horendous noise. I did let him know if I ever heard that again I'd shove it some place where the sun don't shine!!!
    Take Care and I wish you luck. It's hard as i think on the other hand we are so very lucky to have found such LOVE, as many do not.Have a great Day, Laura
  4. Catseye

    Catseye Member

    I used to be like this, needing every extra 5 minutes of sleep. Can you go to bed earlier? I usually sleep by 9pm and I'm up at 6 every morning and feel good. I never used to be like this, but now I am a morning person. And mineral supplements have helped tremendously with sleep, esp magnesium. karen
  5. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    We had the same problem with sleeping in the same bed. My husband has to get up an hour earlier than I do and his alarm would wake me up and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Plus, when we were first married, the pain from my FMS was worse (I'm on morphine now), plus my IC symptoms were worse. So I moved around a lot and made several trips during the night to the bathroom. So that disturbed my husband.

    My husband would always go to sleep before me and I had to listen to his snoring. Plus, he moves around a lot. He jerks his legs a lot-I have often wondered if he has restless legs syndrome.

    We finally decided our sleep was the most important thing. He works full-time and at the time I was full-time, too (I've been half-time now for the past several years). So I sleep in the spare bedroom (after investing in the most comfortable mattress and pillows I could find.

    We both sleep much better and I can sleep with all my pillows around me.

    As for cuddletime, my husband used to like to lay close to me and put his arm around me and sleep like that. I was in so much pain that just the pressure of his arm bothered me. I just didn't want to be touched and was always afraid he would bump me in the night.

    So now are cuddletimes on the weekends (and sometimes during the week) are extra special.

    As for animals, we have three cats. I have always put the cats in the basement (we have a nice familyroom there that they sleep in). One of our cats likes to sleep with me sometimes. He is really quiet and keeps to his side of the bed. It's really cute-he likes one of my pillows so I let him use it. He looks so cute laying on it.

    But your sleep needs to be number one. Without adequate sleep, your health will definitely suffer.

    Ellen