So depressed - again. I can't get out of this hole 7 have no help

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by achy, Jan 12, 2003.

  1. achy

    achy New Member

    I'm ususally the one replying to posts like this...now it's my turn.
    I am switching anti depress meds...weaning off zoloft & waiting to start Wellbutrin (I get meds thru mail, RX not here yet) so I know that is part of the prob...
    My SSD was denied, just got letter.
    I have no friends...recently moved to small rural area,
    can't drive far alone..so noplace to go, nothing to do
    Lots of housework/yardwork to do - pain/exhaustion is too
    bad
    Hubby doesn't even want to "play" wiht me ...unless it involves sex.....which I have no desire for.
    Ok....any suggestions?
  2. joannie1

    joannie1 New Member

    to hear your so down achy. I know how you feel with all the meds. I struggle with them all the time too. Never can seem to find one to help.
    I am sorry you were denied Disability but don't give up okay. Keep fighting it although it gets very flustrating you have to do it.
    I hope that you will start feeling better soon. It is tough having so many things going on at once I know. I'm always here if you need a shoulder to lean on.
    Take care,
    Joannie
  3. judywhit

    judywhit New Member

    but I know hearing this does not make it better. I find that when I do not keep busy I get very depressed. So, in essense with this FM since we always hurt and are tired that depression sets in alot. Mine comes and goes kinda like the FM bouts. I call out to my God alot! I ask him to take the cloud of depression out of my life. And, He does over time. I also take one day at a time and give thanks alot for the pain free moments. I wanted to share with you my experience on wellbutrin. Well, I LOVE it! But, unfortunatly I can not sleep at all when I am on it. It gave me alot of energy, worked very quickly, and gave me my sexual desire back for my hubby! YES!!! But, I had to go off because of my job. I drive school bus and I have to get my sleep. I now take St. Johns Wart and find this to be effective. Achy, I am going to keep you in my prayers today. I want you to feel better and God desires our perfect health too.
    Judy
  4. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    When I don't keep busy, I have time to think about all the things I can no longer do, and all the friends who turned out not to be, and it gets me down, like being sucked down a drain. Being out in nature helps me more than anything else, and I guess you can do that, since you are in a rural area. I'd give anything if we could move to a rural area,but my hubby's job is not portable. I live in the most crowded county in Florida with 2 million people in the 4 county adjacent area, and I'll be glad to trade with you! Just kidding..... I know one man's cake is another's posion.
    I'm sorry this is happening to you and I hope the Welbutrin works. It is a totally different drug, which does not work on Serotonin like the others, but on Dopamine instead. It helped me more than any other drug I tried, but I had an allergic reaction to it after 42 days.
    I just started Neurontin, and it is having an unexpected positive effect on my depression. It is starting to occur to me that some of us may feel "depressed" for reasons that have little to do with emotional depression, but with strange chemical or electric disorders of the brain, like the seizure state that Neurontin is designed to correct.
    I wish you the best possible results,
    KLutzo
    [This Message was Edited on 01/12/2003]
  5. 2BPainfree

    2BPainfree New Member

    I sure know how you feel. But it WILL get better I promise!
    Each day seems to change so much for us...

    Don't worry about the SSD, the turn down letter is just par for the course, just routine as my rheum put it. After the thrid denial letter hire a lawyer and then more than likely, it will go thru....(as long as you have your rheum or someone backing you up)

    I agree about the wellbutrin. I think that is the one med that is holding me together...just hold on and know you will be on it soon...things will get better.

    I am having a hard time finding any interests too. I use to love everything. I'm trying to take it one step at a time...just got a set of tapes called the "energy anatomy" by Caroline Myss...recommended by a Psychiatrist, it's about how to take our energy back and get in a better place.
    I think I may start getting "books on tape" it's very relaxing to get comfortable, relax and just listen sipping tea or something.

    Lastly, I agree with the omega3 fish oil caps. I have been told this is vital for our brain health and to help depression naturally.

    Hope this helps. Achey, you have been there for me on many of my posts, thank you for that. I hope my post to you helps some too.

    Love & hugs,

    Susan B.

  6. BonBons

    BonBons New Member

    I am so sorry to hear you've been down. I recently went through some terrible depression and rage; it's a long story, but the depression was a real knock-down stuck in bed killer, and this is the first time I've posted in a long time. I, too, have heard from many people that Wellbutrin was THE one that helped. Zoloft never worked for me and I gained 30 lbs. on it (course I probably ate too much too and/or other meds aided the weight thing). Please be gentle and kind with yourself. If you need to cry, get yourself a good movie and let 'er rip, it might let out some pain. I so enjoy your kindness and participation here, and I sure hope you emerge even better soon. BonBons
  7. darlamk

    darlamk New Member

    Hi Achy, Like so many have said "I know what you mean" It's tough to switch meds- I am on Wellbutrin also & have had no side effects (other meds made me feel dazed & confused!)I think we are all prone to feeling more down when we are hurting too. Have you been getting some sunshine? I live in the north & we have had some sunny days & that seems to help. You are always such good support to everyone else - you are certainly entitled to get some encouragement from us! I feel like I have no friends anymore too. It seems they are all working or too busy. I am guilty of not fostering too many close friendships due to lack of energy & time when I was working.It must really be difficult when you have moved to a new community. Its easier when you have kids in school or stuff like that to meet new people. I considered joining a radical political group :) but instead opted to join a fitness center where I know I will bump into people I know. I'm going to try the pool & yoga. (I hope I can do it without looking too dumb!)Concerning the SSD -DO NOT GIVE UP! It took me 2 denials and an appearance before a crabby judge to get mine (1 1/2 years) I was approved at end of Nov but I haven't seen any $ yet. I remember feeling like a yoyo with my emotions concerning all the paperwork & trying to prove I was really ill- not to mention the guilt of not working. I hope you get to feeling better. Take care.
    Sincerely,
    Darla
  8. selma

    selma New Member

    If you can handle it see if you can get a kitten. They're loving and will give love with no strings attached.
    Treat youself as you would like to be treated and as if you would if someone asked for advice. Love, Selma
  9. synergy42

    synergy42 New Member

    Dear achy,

    "I can see fun!" Like you, I see opportunities for fun, everywhere! I go to Aquacize for my arthritis. I go down to the deep end of the pool, where I play Shark and Porpoise and so surface diving and stuff. I have to be real careful not to giggle too much, because the women in the class, while very, very nice and friendly (WHICH IS A BIG PLUS!) sure don't understand how to play and be fun and funny. They drone on and on about food and grandchildren and expensive vacations they have just returned from.

    Today I feel tons better than I did yesterday because I went over to see a friend and we played Yahtzee. I finally found one for $5.99 and went and bought it. Also stopped at a grocery/deli and had a nice lunch: broccoli-rice-cheese casserole which was yummy, and a chicken leg. Left the thigh for home dinner. Also half a Kozy Shack tapioca pudding. My favorite!!!

    I need to jam with my guitar or another instrument (I play mandolin and fiddle, and also sing) almost every day. I plan to begin hanging 3x5 cards at the music stores asking for day-jammers -- people who are retired, disabled or self employed. Maybe you could look for women who want to do something you love, whatever it is.

    Some husbands object to this. But there are ways around it. My aunt's husband would not "let" her go to work. She tried to find out why. The answer was that he wanted his dinner the minute he got home. Well, so, she arranged to have his dinner in the freezer so all he had to do was heat it up for himself. And she went out and got a part time job at the library. She would NOT let him bamboozle her or order her around. They were married for over 50 years, and had a very traditional marriage. He was verbally abusive. They had great sex. Which was why she married him! They both had hot sexual drives. He was very bossy to her, and put her down in public. It was not a marriage made in heaven. He died about 6 months ago, and it hit her real hard. In fact, she was devastated. I thought she would be relieved, but no, she was really, really broken up. My mom was relieved when my dad died, I think. He was abusive, too.

    Anyway, if you need playfulness as much as I do, we both gotta GET THAT. It's in my blood -- is it in yours? Life without somebody to play with is no good. A cat is wonderful, but it's gotta be people.

    Hope you can find some playful friends. Cards? Music? Handcrafts? Maybe a class? Calligraphy?

    synergy







  10. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    So sorry you are feeling so bad, and that you were denied, but keep trying with that SSD.

    I also live in a rural area, no friends here either, I came from New Oreans, and I find the people in these areas do not accept strangers as easily as they do in N.O. I have been here now for over 8 years.

    But it does have it advantages, no drop in company, no crime to talk about, and it is sooooo peaceful after you get used to it. To be honest, I would not want to live in a big city again.

    I had stopped driving about a year ago which made things worst as for as having something to do that concerned the 'outside' world! My husband works for an oil company, so he is gone for weeks, then home for weeks, so I am alone a lot of the time.

    But I do love the woods here and all the wildlife, and I do have my five dogs (my babies) to keep me moving, and they are the greatest for company.

    You would like my husband, he is always looking to play and joke etc! I am the opposite, I am more of a book reader, like serious tv shows, and hate teasing with a passion.

    I am not depressed, so can't help you with that one. Just wanted to let you know I am in the 'boonies' too!

    I am in Ponchatoula, Louisiana, where are you? I could not get lucky enough to find out you are in my state?

    Take care, and I hope your meds get there soon.

    Shalom, Shirl
  11. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    your post sounds like something I would write. I have no friends either, I really never was too social but I yearn for some excitement. I will echo another post that you got..how about a kitten. I just got another cat(4yr old calico) on Saturday bringing my cat total to 3. They keep you busy and I feel their energy which gets me through the day. Their spirit and phsyic minds always amaze me. They know when I am really down and they try to help lift my mood. My husband is understanding of my illness but he doesn't want to "play" either unless it is sex. I would love to play a game or something but he doesn't like board games. So I play with my cats. One likes to play fetch...which is nice so I don't have to move. One just loves to be petted and the new one is just starting to feel at home. She is the only girl other than me in the house. She's not a replacement of my sweet calico Daffney who passed away from an illness in December but rather she is a new member of a kitty family. She is here to have a safe and healthy home and get lots of love. I don't know what state your in. I am in Pennsylvania. If your close I wouldn't mind sharing time with you.

    I hope you are feeling better!
    --Kristen
  12. achy

    achy New Member

    If you've seen my post "Get copies of your records"
    you know I am worse today than yesterday. you would think I'd run out of tears by now!
    It is your kindness, support and prayers that keep me going.
    I know this too shall pass, I just wish it would hurry up! I used to be so tough...Nothing got to me, guess I found my match.

    I try to keep busy...I have two dogs and four outside kittys to keep the vermints away. I used to craft alot but this DD has settled in my hands and hips. What can you do when your hands don't work??

    Thanks ya'll....I'm tying

    P.S.

    Klutzo...I used to live close to you...Pinellas county so I know of which you speak! No, I'd rather be here than there!

    Shirl....I am in the very NW tip of Fla...close, but not close enough for lunch - LOL
    (My stepson lived in DeRidder)
    [This Message was Edited on 01/13/2003]