So depressed, worn out, had it with everything.....

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Manwithfibro, Sep 14, 2010.

  1. Manwithfibro

    Manwithfibro New Member

    I know I am feeling sorry for myself but I am just spent. Getting through a day of work is hell with the fatigue and pain. I am just so tired of everything...the only thing that seems to matter anymore is money. Companies screw you by not paying enough or if you are sick, trying to figure out a way to get rid of you. Insurance companies just want to deny everything, even if your doctor wants you to get a test etc....Every single FM treatment for me has failed. Believe me when I say I have tried umpteen billion of them. Eventually, I feel like I am going to go broke as I cannot make enough to support my family with this miserable stuff and our medical is high since FM cost alot to have. Even on my days off, how much enjoyment can I have when I hurt so darn bad and/or I am so tired that all I want to do is lay around. I have tried the exercise thing and pay for it. Still do it but pay pay pay!! As I get older and my body starts getting more and more worn out, what the heck am I going to do? I know it is sad, but there are days where I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up. This FM has just sucked the life out of me. I am toast. Thanks for listening.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/14/2010]
  2. KerryK

    KerryK Member

    I hear you. You should be on an antidepressant. It won't solve your pain issues much, but may help you carry on. What about Cymbalta? It isn't true that it only relieves pain in women. What about gabapentin, lyrica? I apologize if you have already tried these.
  3. Nanie46

    Nanie46 Moderator


    I'm sorry that you are feeling so awful.

    I can relate.

    You will have a chance of feeling better if you can find the cause(s) of your illness.

    It is likely infectious.

    Then you can treat the cause(s) and have the hope of recovery.

    One of the common causes of fibromyalgia type pain, fatigue,etc is the bacteria Borrelia burgdorferi.

    Many people on this board eventually discovered that they had this chronic infection, along with other coinfections like Babesia, Bartonella, Ehrlichia, Mycoplasma etc.

    Most people don't just have one infection.

    Please keep an open mind and take a look at the symptom list on pages 9-11 of this paper, and the coinfection symptom info on pages 22-27....

    Also read through this booklet. It is very informative and also has a great symptom list:

    Here is a great site:

    It is very important for you to know that a negative Lyme test means NOTHING.

    The antibody tests are very unreliable, yet most Dr's use them to absolutely rule out lyme....which is a HUGE mistake.

    Lyme is a clinical diagnosis....based on history, symptoms and exam...not a lab test. Many people will miss being diagnosed because the Dr relied on an unreliable test, and the patient believed him.

    Hope you get some answers.

    Good luck.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/15/2010]
  4. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I hear you. I really do AND I understand. There are days when you just feel like you're just trying to getting through them to do it all over again the next day. It's darn hard and takes a huge mental toll to deal with the pain and fatigue day in and day out. On top of that trying to work, have a family, a life etc.

    I guess what you do is exactly what I said above - you get through each day. One day at a time. I know there are days that I just think I can't do this day after day, so I have to stop those thoughts and not think that far ahead and just conquer the day I'm living.
    People don't realize how really difficult this is and it is so hard to explain.

    The "treatments" are for making your symptoms more bearable. Are you on any pain medication and/or antidepressants? Are you sleeping or taking anything to help you sleep?

    Do you have support?
    You have to know that you're not alone. I have felt the same way you do - I've just wanted to sleep, but in reality I can't. What I really want is to feel better. We can't lose hope. We have to find ways to find comfort/relief something.

    If you have to 'lay around' on your days off, well then you do. You have to get the rest you need. You may have to adjust what you do for fun with your family. I know it's hard and there's a lot of guilt we deal with, but that has to be thrown out the door. You'll never feel better if you keep pushing yourself.

    Anytime you need to talk/vent/whatever...we're here!
  5. Doober

    Doober New Member

    what you are going through. I too am a male. Work in Boston all day only to come home and want to do nothing. It is like we are expected to be strong physically and emotionally. I struggle through the day keeping those "pain tears" from making it past the corner of my eyes.

    I am a 6'3 40 YO and should not feel the way I do. I hide so much of my physical feelings from everyone because I do not want to listen to other's advice, especially from those who do not know what we go through.

    It is hard NOT to feel the way you do. The only thing I can say is keep your head up. Get through each day. Get to the DR's and explain to them how you feel.

    I may be best to write things down now, give the DR what you wrote. I know from experience that you want to say something to the DR and then it either comes out wrong or doesn;t come out at all. So writing it down will take the pressure of someone staring at you or distracting you from YOUR points of intended discussion.

    I too have a family and SSDI is WAY OUT of the my nind as an option. I would be taking up to a 70% cut in income to do this. For those that can live by with it, it is a great option.

    P;ease do reach out and get any help you can and I will be hoping for better days ahead for and thinking of you.
  6. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I don't have any sage advice. I have been there, and I probably will be again. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I'd like to say it gets better, and for some it might, but for the majority of use it is simply a matter of hanging onto this roller coaster ride. Funny thing is, I hate roller coasters! But, that is what is is for the majority of us. For me, it is my dear sweet young son that keep me going. I don't even try to imagine what my life would be like without him in it. It is his sweet voice and smile that keep me going everyday. Even if I had to live in a tiny studio apt with him to make ends meet, I would, and I might soon have to.

    Please, know you are not alone. I know it helps me when I am very low. Although the people here are not geographically close, I see them as very close friends. Many of us do not have people we can call to cry on their shoulders, me included. I rely on those here. The support of the board members here has been such a help to me. Please, let them help you.

    Soft hugs to you,

    JEANSKI New Member

    I don't come on here much anymore. I saw your post and wanted to reply. I hit bottom last night. Crying and feeling really hopeless. I am glad you shared your feelings because I realize I am not alone. Knowing that others are trying their best and hitting their lows has helped me to face this.

    We hit these lows but we also have our moments of great strength when we live with this pain and fatigue. We cannot let each other forget that. Thank you for sharing.