So down emotionally lately...don't know what to do with myself...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by BLUEROSE7, Jan 5, 2006.

  1. BLUEROSE7

    BLUEROSE7 New Member

    I always try not to complain alot...I am thankful for what blessings I have...for what health I do have..I try to be postive...I try to be postive for others....I try to make others think im ok.

    I have been so down physically and emotionally alot lately....I just feel so depressed...feels like im stuck in a rut and cant get out....Why want this pass???

    I am so sorry...I usally dont express alot about when Im really down....I want to be postive for others...but I feel the need to just let it out and I know so many of you here understand.

    I just have no energy or motivation to do anything. This week seems to be the worse so far...I have had a hard time just trying to get myself motivated to get in the shower...

    My house needs cleaned so badly...I can't stand a dirty house...I keep saying i'll start cleaning in a little while....i'll clean up tomorrow...then that time comes and goes....I'm so tired of this and feeling this way...I need motivation and energy. I feel bad about myself, I have no self-estem left...I look in the mirror and think who is that girl. I feel like life (my youth) is just passing me by and im wasting away here in this house.

    It's just a overwhelming feeling....as i was saying I cant stand a dirty house and use to be such a clean freak...and I look around at little things I need to do and say im going to do...then I just get mad at myself and at those things that need to be done...I get so upset about it..that I have to just go to bed...that make any sence?

    I feel like I let my husband and family down alot...even though they dont say so...I feel that way...some things im feeling its just to hard to even explain...

    I haven't even been here as much as I like and want to be...I read post that I want to respond too...but no motivation to do so.

    Please just keep me in your prayers and sorry I didn't mean for this to sound like a pity party...but sometimes it's hard to talk to family or even close friends....

    I feel like they just dont get it or undertand...I wonder often if they just think im lazy and want to lay in bed all the time....I'm not a lazy person and never have been....I am just so emtionally down ontop of the physcially part.

    I pray for some motivation and energy....I want out of feeling this way...

    Again sorry and thanks for listening and letting me vent...please pray for me.

    Hugs
    ~Bluerose~
  2. kch64

    kch64 New Member


    Not much to add, just giving you a cyber-hug.

    Kendra
  3. Countrymom

    Countrymom New Member

    It sucks... I am praying for you. I find myself feeling exactly as you have described.

    I just think of it as temporary. As soon as my medicines start killing my lyme and my body can heal, I will feel better. I am not there yet but I am confident that with my treatment I will get better.

    I hope God provides you with the comfort you need to get through this overwhelming time. We can all understand and have been there, you can and will get through this.

    Hugs,
    Dani
  4. loops1988

    loops1988 New Member

    I have been recomended yoga which is just a way of relasing bad enargy for good which is supposed to help with pain and energy (motivation) just ten minutes a day is supoosed to make all the diffrence but i find it just to painful (maybe the dvd i have got is for experts or something) I will carry on trying though i manage a minute a day and i do feel motivated mentely but i cant do much physically - if that makes sense!

    I was told i was depressed by my doctor but it is a weird feeling i have i cry alot and take it out on loved ones but when it comes to good things in life like my 2 year old neice i am so diffrent with her. If i cant do something for my self like open a jar and have to ask my boyfreind to do it for me i get wound up and start crying and take it out on him, but with monica (my neice) if i cant life her or play certian games with her i just tell her i cant and i get upset with my self but i dont show it as much as i do when is someone else and i certainly dont take it out on her.
    If you have young children i suggest reading a book with them or something easy - it gives your such a boost when you know you can be useful by really doing nothing!

    i hope what i have wrote is not only useful for yourself but for all that read it and feel the same way at times.

    Louise
  5. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Bluerose, I am so sorry you are feeling so bad..I can relate to every word you said as I too have the same feelings..My house, family, the guilt, the depression somedays its all I can to is make myself take a bath..

    Did you overdo during the holidays? If I overdo it seems to trigger these feelings..

    I hate it and wish I had some advise but all I can do is relate..and say don't give up because this will pass..I know with me if it passes it will return so I try to make myself do but there are times our bodies need rest..

    Please when you are down and out thats what we are here for don't hold back..I would hate to be the only one here complaining..

    I will pray for you for God to give you strength..

    Keep us posted on how you are doing,
    greatgran
  6. Tantallon

    Tantallon New Member

    I recently felt this way and posted about being housebound and bored to tears, the support and encouragement I got made me realise that people out there are suffering the same and understand.

    We all get down about our illnesses, but together we will all get through it. Here you don't have to explain how you feel and why you feel this way, we know and we are here to help each other through the hard times and rejoice at the good ones.

    There are people out there that are getting their lives back, read those success stories and take hope and encouragement from them.

    Don't give up
    Hugs, Sue.
  7. BLUEROSE7

    BLUEROSE7 New Member

    Kch64~ Thanks Kendra, I really needed that Hug more then you know!

    Countrymom~ Thank You for your Prayers they are so needed...I hope and pray you too will feel better soon.

    loops1988~ Thank You...I will give the yoga a try...I too cry alot, especially here lately and every know and then I do the same as you...I may take it out on my husband just out of frustration on my part. I don't have children myself, but when my friend brings her little girl for a visit she does seem to take alot off my mind and worries, wished I was able to see her more often. Thank you for all your helpful advise.

    Nanjee~ Thank you hun for your thoughts and prayers they are so needed! Your so right it's exhausting to our mind, body and spirit.

    Greatgran~ Thank You! I knew, I could count on all of you...I know you all can relate and understand. I really don't think I over did it during the hoildays..then again I did do more exhausting running around more then usual. I too hope and pray this passes soon, I'm the same as you it seems to creep back up on me. Depression does run in my family on my dads side and our illness just adds to the fire so to speak. Thank you and everyone for being here...I have to learn not to hold back...I think that just makes it worse when you hold it in.

    Hangininthere~ I'm so happy you are feeling better from your bout with depression. I haven't taken any new meds...I kinda wish that was the case so I could just stop the med and feel better. I will definately get me some magnesium pills...I have been meaning to give that a try...Thank you for all your help and prayers.

    Tantallon~ Thank you hun...Your so right there are so many suffering the same and truly understand..I knew if no where else I would be understood here..thank you for your response and being here.

    Katemac329~ We are alot alike...everything you said ...you really hit the nail on the head so to speak. Your so right it's a vicious cycle. Thank you for the info on Flylady, I will definately do a search on her and thank you for your prayers!

    WakeMeUp~ I'm so sorry you have been feeling the same...it's a horriable horriable feeling that affects you in many ways. My hormones could very well be out of wack...but the scary thing I tend to suffer with this on and off summer or winter. Sometimes being worse then other times. The more I think about it, I truly believe depression can be inherited as well...then ontop of our illness that makes us more depressed it's horriable. My family has never came out and said they think im lazy... I guess I have that in my mind because I often feel like a failure to them because im not able to do the things I once did. Thank you for all your support and I pray you will feel better soon too!!

    **Thank you all...just knowing I can come here and have people understand helps more then you know!! Hopefully this will pass soon I pray...it's terriable!!

    Hugs & Love to All
    ~Bluerose~
  8. tanyasue

    tanyasue New Member

    I am so sorry things are tough. I hate it when things are like that for me.

    Something I do that helps me is one little thing a day. I choose one little thing a day to feel like I have done something. It can be as little as wiping off the counter, but I know that I have done something and that helps.

    Please remember that the small things are still things you are accomplishing. Posting was an accomplishment. It's ok that you can't respond to all of the posts-it is humnaly impossible to.

    Others cannot understand, they don't experience the pain, fatigue and all of the other "fun" stuff we experience. If I did not experience it, I wouldn't understand it either.

    I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I hope things get better for you and that you get the support you need.

    Tanya Sue
  9. rigby

    rigby New Member

    I felted the same way about my home. It took a couple of years for my husband's words to sink in but they finally have. He would tell me not to worry about the house no one was complaining it was just me. Let it go. Now I look around wishing I could do better but I know my family don't mind and will help if we have plans. Rigby
  10. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    you are not the only one...used to be the neatfreak...that was my first argument when i got married in 1986, no i am starting to get tears because i am now divorced...but anyways

    he told me i was too blanky d blank clean...well i can't stand a dirty home either...i do what i can...and when and it seems like for ever i am in a really bad depression i let me paperwork stack up and not file stuff...this is so not me...

    but i tell myself i have the bills paid and that is what counts..although i think i have forgotten to pay my electric not because of lack of funds...just forgotten...crap!

    well try the magnesium that may help...i have some but i don't
    know if i am taking enough...so it hasn't helped me...

    maybe whoever replied abot the magnisum will give us the rec. of magnesium...i have been taking only 1 250mg tablet...

    well cheer up if ou can and talk to a dr about a new antidepressant maybe/...

    jodie
  11. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Is there such a thing as Post Holiday Stress Syndrome? :) I've been feeling rotten since the holidays. Just let down. Flat. My middle name is "Malaise."
  12. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member


    BIG SOFT HUGS BLUEROSE...

    Peaceful days ahead ~ Alicia
  13. BLUEROSE7

    BLUEROSE7 New Member

    ddt23~ I'm so so sorry hun you have been feeling the same way....I know it's a horriable feeling and I wish it on no one...Seems alot of us are feeling the same lately...My prayers are with you...I too hope we all feel better and at peace soon. Keep your head-up (((Hugs)))

    tanyasue~ Thank you hun...I will definately give your suggestions a try...anything to help...Your so right, unless a person is going through and feeling what we do...it's hard for them to understand...

    Mayline~ Yes I know that feeling...it does feel like somtimes the more you try, the more behind you get...

    Jodieplace~ Thank you hun for your support...hubbys going to cvs to get me some magnesium pills...going to give them a try...I hope a higher dose with help you as well.

    Chocolat~ Thank you hun....I think this time of year definately dosen't help...seems alot of us are feeling the same..

    Snowygirl~ You are the Biggest Sweetheart and BIG cyber (((Hugs))) back hun...I hope you feel better soon too. You have brought tears to my eyes...your so right...I think, I do need some "me time" Thank you hun for your support, understanding and just being here...you are a blessing to us all!!

    MsE~ I hope you feel better soon!!

    MamaDove~ Thank You...those hugs always help!!

    **Thank you all...I am feeling a little better emotionally...far from back to normal...but a little better...You all have helped in me feeling better and I thank you all...You all are the greatest and a blessing.

    ((Hugs)) To All
    Love you All
    ~Bluerose~
  14. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    sounds good to me...

    hoepefully it wil help us all..

    i have all kinds of side affects w/those darn anti-d's that they put me on concerta er now and they are supposed to give me enrgy and maybe help w/the fog...

    but they have been been putting me to sleep, it is so wacky..so i'll try the natural stuff at nigt today i can't wait...i have only had about 2 hours of sleep today...

    jodie

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