So frustrated!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dakotasweett, Oct 30, 2005.

  1. dakotasweett

    dakotasweett New Member

    I hate to be a complainer...but I need to vent a bit and don't want to burden my family with anything else. The last 3 weeks have been so filled with pain in addition to several infections. I had my first FFC appointment scheduled for 2 weeks ago but had to cancel due to bronchitis. I was able to reschedule and went this past Monday. I left the office feeling full of hope. Unfortunately I began feeling nauseous and dizzy beginning the next day. This past Friday night (as in 2 days ago) I had such excrutiating pain and swelling in the arm that I received the IV treatment in (from the FFC) that I had to make my third visit to the ER in 3 weeks. Turns out I have an infection of the vein where I had the IV. Now I am on steroids, antibiotics, and must wear a brace on my arm...and I am still in a lot of pain plus dizziness and nausea. I am so completely frustrated with my body and this dd. I have spent the last six years fighting to maintain a normal life despite my pain and now I have had to take a leave of absence from school. I am absolutely devastated about this. To make everything worse, the instructor of the course I was taking was less than nice when I told her of my decision...I guess I'll just add her to the list of people who cannot understand that even though I am only 23, I can have many medical problems.

    I guess I could just use a little support, and thought maybe some people who have encountered similar issues may be better able to understand.

    Thanks in advance for letting me complain and for any kind words you may have to offer.

    -Vanessa
  2. susabar

    susabar New Member

    Dear Vanessa,
    I know how you feel... I went through a three week ordeal with a bad flare. I only have a few hours of sick leave left. People DO NOT understand and it really hurts when you've found out someone has made a comment behind your back OR like a co-worker of mine who is openly hostile !! The hospital ( my employer ) is big on diversity so I put in the suggestion box to consider not only color, creed, and national origin but people who live with invisible illnesses like us. The reality though is nothing will be done. I even complained formally about the dicrimination from this co-worker and absolutely nothing happened. They blamed it on " personality differences " when the truth is she is disrespectful period. You can come here when you are down and the other members will lift you up. Tonight my father who is getting up there in age sent me an e-mail by accident , it was meant to be sent to my brother. The e-mail was about me... saying he thought I was loosing my mind and my sister thought so too !!! ( I was in bad shape the last few weeks) I feel like living in a cave by myself! I know what I'm saying probably isn't cheering you up , I'm sorry. I do have allot of faith in God and I do go to him daily with my burdens, I feel like that's all I have.
    I hope you feel better soon remember it will pass and you'll feel better again.
    Love, Sue
  3. dakotasweett

    dakotasweett New Member

    I find comfort in the fact that other people have had similar strifes--but I feel awful that anyone else has to experience such bad situations. It makes me especially angry that a hospital would treat their employees so badly---their whole purpose is to care for those who are not well. I am sorry you have to deal with people who lack compassion. I am in nursing school and the instructor I wrote about is a nurse...I think that was a big part of why what she said hurt me. I constantly remind myself that I will be a great nurse (when I graduate) because I have experienced such pain. I think I will be better able to empathize with my patients and to provide compassionate care. I really do try to find the positive in all of these negative experiences...I guess learning to use my experience to treat others better than I have been treated is the positive I have found.

    Thanks again,
    -Vanessa
  4. browneyes259

    browneyes259 New Member

    I can soooo relate, w/ the school thing anyway, honey!

    I didn't have the bad ordeal you've had after my 1st FFC visit, but I am sooo sorry that you are suffering so much. Seems like there should be a limit on what one poor person should have to deal with. Doesn't seem to be the case.

    I am seriously considering postponing my schooling indefinitely and it is literally breaking my heart. I know that is hard to understand for some, but when you are pursuing your dreams it is hard to let this DD win. I know it's not, but that's the way it feels for me.

    I wish you a speedy recovery from your most recent bad reactions to your first treatments at the FFC. God bless!

    Hugs,
    Jen
  5. dakotasweett

    dakotasweett New Member

    I am so sorry that you are going through a similar situation, Jen. It is so hard when you strive to live a normal life and face such an uphill battle in trying to accomplish your dreams. I have been wondering since I began nursing school 1 1/2 years ago if I will ever actually be able to work as a nurse even if I do graduate since I have one physical problem after another. It is so tough to be just starting out in the job market and not knowing if I will ever be able to do the job I want.

    Soft hugs to you,
    Vanessa