Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by moonlightkitty, Sep 10, 2005.
Is it OK to post a personal (non-health) message here now?
we have been told by the moderators that off-topics are okay as long as they follow the board's rules so go ahead kitty and post.
Well I haven't been on this board in a while... since last year when my father died.
I wrote a message then asking for some support and advice about a really difficult personal situation that came up after that, and got lots of wonderful replies. I want to thank everyone that reached out to me.
I couldn't bear to come back here and look at it at all, it was just too painful.
But I'm just writing to say I'm back and I hope to post more often here. It's such a great little community of strong incredible people.
I've uploaded a photo of myself BEFORE I got sick in 1999. It didn't scan too well but it gives you an idea of who you're talking to.
My friend came over tonight and showed me all these great old photos and it was good to see what I used to be like before I was ill, but very painful too because I can't believe I can't just be that person still.
I've now put on 40kg (100lbs?) and just look exhausted and terrible... but that photo is the real me. I'm very drunk there and have just swiped someone's beanie that we used to laugh about, so that's why I'm pointing proudly at it lol. I look really energetic and happy and it's good to be reminded I was that once.
Best wishes and much love to everyone,
maybe you should put another title so others will read.
You look SO young. I put on over 60lbs and am still struggling, apparently 70% of people with our illness put a lot of weight on.
I look at my photos too and wonder where I went to but what can you do but get on with it.
Looking forward to reading your posts now you're back.
I meant to mention I'm 22 in that photo, and 28 now. I still look similar in the face, but just dour and miserable and fat lol!
Luckily in our family we look quite young, so when the day comes that I get better, I can hopefully get away with trying to make up for my lost youth.
Yeah it's hard not to put on weight when you're so sedentary. It's always just been if I move, I'm skinny, if I don't, I'm fat. At least I know it will be easy to lose once there is a treatment.
[This Message was Edited on 09/10/2005]
Really a cute photo! Don't feel bad about the weight as I know many of us have gained a substantial amount of weight. I have and have been trying to lose now since May. I had lost 15 pounds, then gained back 5. It's really hard to lose without being able to exercise like I used to prior to FMS.
If exercise didn't cause me pain, I'd go back to it in a heart beat. The photo I have on my profile is from 2001. I have gained weight since then, but I don't remember how much I weighed back then. I think I'm about 20 pounds heavier now.
Glad you are back and nice to meet another Aussie! One of my dreams was to be able to go to Australia. I wonder if I'll ever get that chance. Oh well, I can dream...
Hope you are having a low pain and high energy day!
Thanks everyone for your very sweet and warm and encouraging comments.
Another thing I like about seeing old pictures of myself (pre-illness) is I think in some way, it's hard not to internalise some of the bs that doctors/other people have told you about your illness. You know, all the garbage about how it's because of your personality or some psychological deficit in you or because you're misearable and depressed and want to live that way. I've never believed that but it does still knock you about when people say that, and you can forget what you really are like.
I remember one doctor that accused me of not being able to successfully establish a life - that I had low self-esteem and couldn't 'make it' out on my own. And I look at that photo, which is just before I suddenly got so sick, and I think - I was so happy, I was living in my own flat, having fun with friends and getting joy out of every little thing. Day-to-day life depended on making lemonade out of lemons and doing it so well... to then suddenly be pigeonholed as this person who was a failure at life just because I have a physical illness was cruel.
Willis - yes, I did mean French pop music. I'm obsessed with 60s French pop, it's just sublime and it's a small blessing that I've had time to discover it and learn about it on the internet.
Cheers everyone, look forward to talking again!
PS I should mention the 'laughing at' the beanie was not mean-spirited, but affectionate teasing of someone who never took it off.
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