So miserable

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Bunchy, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. Bunchy

    Bunchy New Member

    I am just so unhappy. I have run out of tears. I have cried several times a day for many years.

    I have been ill since I was 19 - now 37 and feel life has passed me by.

    I have not been able to work since I was 26 and am too sick to even consider having kids. I am also allergic to animals so can't have a pet either.

    I have no friends and I am not close to my family because they hate that I am sick and at best, pretend it is not happening. My Mum even lied to people until recently that I worked and was successful!!

    I often argue with them because they are very difficult eccentric people and also I am so hurt by their total lack of support over the years. I confronted them about this several years ago and I just ended up in a huge shouting argument where they told me that I was ungrateful and that they did support me which is not true!

    I still feel I have to go and stay with them sometimes which is hard on me physically and mentally because otherwise I feel guilty and also that, apart from my sister, husband and one telephone buddy with severe CFS, I have no contact with other people.

    My hubby tries to be supportive but he is always so tired as he works long hours in London. He is either at work, watching TV to relax or asleep..LOL.

    We moved to a house recently and I am terrified being near the ground (we used to live in a top floor apartment) as one of our previous apartments flooded with sewage three times. Every time it rains now, I have a severe panic attack.

    The last apartment we lived in had a neighbour from hell who made our lives miserable for 6 years.

    My Mum and Dad do not want to know my problems and shut off if I talk about anything negative. I have to pretend to be OK with my life all the time and happy, same with the in-laws. They all know I am sick but don't support me the way I need and have no idea what h*ll my life has been.

    On top of all this we now have no money to spare for nice things because the mortgage is massive.

    I also have problems weaning from all the sleeping pills I am on that have helped me get through all this but now I have to reduce as I am maxed out on several different ones.

    I feel so alone, lonely, bored, depressed, panicky and wish I had a life or that someone other than hubby and my sister cared.

    Sorry for the vent!

    Love Bunchy xxx

    PS There is a lot more bad things that has happened but I won't go into everything in detail as the post would be as long as my arm!
    [This Message was Edited on 09/25/2006]
  2. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Bunchy:

    Sounds like you are most stressed out. I hope that you have other people who you can talk to about your situation. Do you have a therapist? If not, do you think that you might benefit from one? What about a doctor? Do you have a supportive one?

    What about services available to you in England? Do they have the type of support services we have here? Visiting nurses? Home care? People who can help you with your daily activities and chores? I sure hope that you no one should have to go through this alone.

    Where in England are you located? I have travelled there about 5 times...and I love every time. I am currently living in Southern California, but plan to move to the midwest to be closer to more family.

    Good luck to you and I hope that you can manage to get some help.

  3. 143alan

    143alan New Member

    I'm so sorry you are so sad and lonely. You will find people here who understand, are going through the same types of things and especially WILL listen.

    I recently responded to a post to me where I was surprised someone even cared to ask about me. It was so nice to know someone else out there cared and understood.

    I can't say anything that will make anything better for you, but I CAN and WILL pray for you and listen. I pray things will get better for you. Please take care.
  4. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    im a single mom. my friends are pretty much non-existant at this point. Family doesnt have a desire to read up on this condition or ask questions...but my mom has been somewhat supportive.
    its hard for people to understand and deal with. dont waste precious energy on letting that bother you....just means your circle of support needs to change a bit. IM HERE! i can talk here, on instant messanger, email or phone. :)
    sometimes i too beat to conversate..but sometimes im ok.
    things will improve.
  5. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    Sorry that you are so depressed. I was also wondering if you can get into therapy. I know those of us with this DD don't get out as much as we would like-but, if you were feeling up to it once in a while, maybe you could do some volunteering. Something to help others that would take your mind off your troubles and help you feel better. Just a suggestion, I don't know your limitations. I do know there are many people on this board who care and I will say a prayer and send positive thoughts your way! Kim
  6. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    I hope you feel better soon and that all works out well for you. It is so difficult at times to deal with these diseases.

    You know you have friends right here on the message board.
    I am rooting for you to win the battle.


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