So sad and tired ( really need to talk)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by romey, Feb 27, 2007.

  1. romey

    romey New Member

    Hey,
    Really not doing so good right now and I feel like this is the only place where other people really get what I'm going through, so I just wanted to write this down and stop feeling so alone.
    I just left another new job after three weeks, this happened a couple of months ago as well, both were childcare jobs.
    I've always wanted to work with kids, and I near ruined myself getting my montessori diploma.
    But I've finally come to realise that I just can't take the phyiscally and emotionally exhaustive nature of the job.
    Everyone told me this before I studied it but I just didn't want to let the Fm hold me back.
    But now after having to leave this job cause I was so tired and confused, I have to face the fact thats its time to do something new with my life.
    The thing I feel so so so tired and so so totally alone, That it just seems so impossible to try and achieve something else.
    A year ago after I left collegeI went through bad spell after bad spell and pretty much did'nt do anything for a year and now trying to come back into world just seems so incredibly hard! I feel like I don't even exist anymore!
    I just keep crying and wishing the pain, fibrofog and exhaustion would just ease off long enough for me to start living my life.
    I'm so sad at the moment that I honestly feel like the Fm has broken my heart.


    [This Message was Edited on 02/27/2007]
  2. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    I can't be around kids (screaming). I am sorry you are going through this.
  3. findmind

    findmind New Member

    Yes, dear one, what you are feeling is grief. You are losing things you hold dear and are having to try to find new directions.

    Please be patient with yourself right now, ok? You will find your way, the one you need to go.

    I see you were turned down for disability a while ago. I think you should reapply now, as you have had a drastic change in what you are able to do.

    Getting it doesn't mean you can't narrow your options down to other things you may be able to do in the future. As a Montessore teacher, was there maybe one really cool thing you loved to do? Could you somehow "specialize" in that and earn a living?

    Do you have meds to help you sleep? I know sleep is the most restorative thing I do for myself. Without it, there is unrelenting pain the next day.

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so sad right now; I think many of us go through these feelings of grief ocassionally, and then we have periods of time where we feel optimistic and hopeful that we can accomplish some (maybe a wee bit simpler) goals.

    Have you visited prickles website? There might be some things mentioned there that could get you feeling better; please look at the Library here, too, and the store of products...there are so many things than could help you.

    I know of two friends who say Lyrica changed their lives (they have FM). Can you try it?

    I wish you soooo much, but I'm afraid you are going to have to be like prickles and go searching for it!

    There's always hope!
    findmind
  4. springrose22

    springrose22 New Member

    It sounds to me like you need to take an extended break from working, if you are able. Can you apply for funds from SSDI? Can your parents help you that way? Working in such an environment would be too much for most people with FM or CFS. Take care. Marie
  5. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    I'm sorry about what you are going through. Maybe you could look into working with children in a less strenuous way? Try looking down different paths in that area. Its tough to see a dream die. I'm sorry that you are so young and going through this. My heart goes out to you.

    God Bless
  6. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    I am sooo sorry that you had to give up the career that you love. It sounds like you are grieving for things that you have lost because of this illness. That is definitely ok and natural.

    We have all had to grieve (or are still grieving) for things that we can no longer do or have. It is so sad but I think it is also necessary so that we can TRY to move on.

    You know what is so great is that you did follow your dreams and you didn't give up on them when everyone told you too. That is so amazing and couragous. At least you can say you got the diploma and you actually tried to have the career.

    You will never have to look back and say what if. You know that you gave it all you could. That is a great thing.

    Now you are recognizing that it is time to move on from that and that is admirable too. Many people can't admit when they need to move on but you are doing it.

    You should be proud of yourself for all of the things you accomplished and tried to do.

    I am so sorry you have to move on from something that you love. I know the feeling all to well as I am sure everyone here does too. We all have had things taken from us because of these illnesses and it is very sad.

    The only thing we can do is to try to move on and change WITH the illnesses. Try to reivent ourselves and find the new us. That is no easy task and so hard to do. Even I am trying to hard to do that...to move on with my life.

    I think you need to let yourself grieve for your career and anything else you feel you have lost. THEN try to move forward. Talking to a therapist may help you.

    I really am so sorry. I do know how you feel. I hope you are doing better very soon. HUGS!

    Take Care,
    Pam
  7. DAT

    DAT New Member

    I am working with kids in my home and it is a struggle each and everyday to get up to work with the pain but I have four children at home that countson me. Please listen to your body and get plenty of rest that is what help me through out the day. While they rest I rest with them and when they donot want to rest I come up with a game that makes up lay on the floor. Please don't be so hard on your self you did not ask for this illness none of us did.
    [This Message was Edited on 02/27/2007]
  8. roseants

    roseants New Member

    I'm new here,but your message relally hit home for me. I knoe exactly hoe you feel! I had to give up a teaching career as well and sense of loss you are feeling can seem unbearable. If you can take some time off and rest a bit it may help your emotional state. I had to leave a career of 12 years. I had wanted to teach music since I was 9 years old, and I conldn't continue. Teaching music is all I know, and after 2 years away from it I realize that my career is not all of who I am. I miss it, I miss the kids, I miss music, but my health (what I have of it) is so much more important. I still struggle with what I am going to do with myself, what kind of job I can even keep, but my husband is supportive, and my dos make me really happy. I truly hope you are ok.
    God bless!