So sick of being tired all the time

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jun 5, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    How can I be so tired all the time? I don't taht I don't sleep well and I go to bed and all the problems of the day are in my head talking to me and trying to fix things that are upsetting to me.

    I get up every morning and my feel like I am walking on shards of broken glass and my muscles adn joints are so stiff that just moving is PAINFULL and I am SICK OF IT!

    MY legs have been acheing so deeply lately and I have no clue as to what is going on with them. I have had some really bad leg cramps that feel like my muscles are in a twist and that they have been wrung out and twisted like a wash cloth it is really painful.

    I wonder when the pains will ease so that I cna do the things I need to do. But they never ease up only get worse. I try to explain to my oldest daughter that i can't walk the 2 blocks to my mom's house and it hurts me and I will pay for it for day and days after trying to do this.
    Today she was being a smart mouth and called me her nick-name for me FAY_ FAY she know that I don't like it and that I want the respect that i have earned from her and for her to call me MOM instead of this other name.

    It makes me angry when she tells me she will call me mom when I start acting like a mother to her.Goodness she is 28 years old and is married too and is a step mother. And I need to act like her mother , one who does not mention pain , or doctor visits or pain meds which I try not to do.

    I really want to smack her and tell her to stop and look at her slef as she is only makeing our mother daughter relationship a hard thing to handle and I don't want to be around her as she is so negitive about everything.

    It is so sad for me that I have sevearl real reasons for my being in pain. ANd yet it is not me who is whinning because she does not feel good and has a headache and my allergies are bothering me and I just don't feel good and I am so tired all the time. I haev listended to her and she whines more than I do about how I feel. NOthing in her life is happy. EVEn when I flare I can find at least 3 reasons to feel happy that day.

    1. I have a grandson who gives me big wet kisses, 2. I have a husgband who loves me no matter what the daughter says. 3 I have friends who care about me and I about them, I know that I am not perfect but i am not doing things to make her angry.I am just not going to go back to the person / mother I was 10 years ago. I am in enugh pain that it is impossiable for me to go back in time, And I could not change things any way.

    Through my pain I have learned compassion and understanding. That while I may be hurting badly someone else is hurting worst than me. And I find my self wishing that I could do some thing for them to help them feel better and bring a smile to their face. I don't feel good moswt of the time but i also know that things could be worse for me. And what a gift it is that they are not so bad that I am unable to move and walk. Yes I don't like being in pain adn having the pain take over my life for a while as I flare. But at least I know that the flare will gl away sometime and I willnot have to live with it everyday.

    I still find joy in music adn painting and being a grandma. I knwo that I am loved and that I love my family so mcuh and they are imrotant to me.

    So even as I get out of bed adn walk on the broken flass and feel this buring pain as I mive witheach step at least I can walk. No life is not the same and i have so many painfulconditions that feellike I ma going to just cry. I don't like this being overly emotional all the time and crying at the drop of a hat. I hate the over emotional feeling taht i have. and therer is not much taht I can do do change it.
    I am who I am and i live withp ain all day and it is eally hard to live wwwwwith and disllkethe the way I feel/ TToday life is a bit hard. OFf to bed I go ]. Love ya,Rosemarie



  2. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Hang in there honey!
  3. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    RoseMarie:

    It is nice that you can find the good side of life to pull you through rough times. This disease is awful and takes such a toll on us.

    You have so much good going on in your life.

    ((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

    nyrofan