So sick of being tired all the time

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jun 5, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    How can I be so tired all the time? I don't taht I don't sleep well and I go to bed and all the problems of the day are in my head talking to me and trying to fix things that are upsetting to me.

    I get up every morning and my feel like I am walking on shards of broken glass and my muscles adn joints are so stiff that just moving is PAINFULL and I am SICK OF IT!

    MY legs have been acheing so deeply lately and I have no clue as to what is going on with them. I have had some really bad leg cramps that feel like my muscles are in a twist and that they have been wrung out and twisted like a wash cloth it is really painful.

    I wonder when the pains will ease so that I cna do the things I need to do. But they never ease up only get worse. I try to explain to my oldest daughter that i can't walk the 2 blocks to my mom's house and it hurts me and I will pay for it for day and days after trying to do this.
    Today she was being a smart mouth and called me her nick-name for me FAY_ FAY she know that I don't like it and that I want the respect that i have earned from her and for her to call me MOM instead of this other name.

    It makes me angry when she tells me she will call me mom when I start acting like a mother to her.Goodness she is 28 years old and is married too and is a step mother. And I need to act like her mother , one who does not mention pain , or doctor visits or pain meds which I try not to do.

    I really want to smack her and tell her to stop and look at her slef as she is only makeing our mother daughter relationship a hard thing to handle and I don't want to be around her as she is so negitive about everything.

    It is so sad for me that I have sevearl real reasons for my being in pain. ANd yet it is not me who is whinning because she does not feel good and has a headache and my allergies are bothering me and I just don't feel good and I am so tired all the time. I haev listended to her and she whines more than I do about how I feel. NOthing in her life is happy. EVEn when I flare I can find at least 3 reasons to feel happy that day.

    1. I have a grandson who gives me big wet kisses, 2. I have a husgband who loves me no matter what the daughter says. 3 I have friends who care about me and I about them, I know that I am not perfect but i am not doing things to make her angry.I am just not going to go back to the person / mother I was 10 years ago. I am in enugh pain that it is impossiable for me to go back in time, And I could not change things any way.

    Through my pain I have learned compassion and understanding. That while I may be hurting badly someone else is hurting worst than me. And I find my self wishing that I could do some thing for them to help them feel better and bring a smile to their face. I don't feel good moswt of the time but i also know that things could be worse for me. And what a gift it is that they are not so bad that I am unable to move and walk. Yes I don't like being in pain adn having the pain take over my life for a while as I flare. But at least I know that the flare will gl away sometime and I willnot have to live with it everyday.

    I still find joy in music adn painting and being a grandma. I knwo that I am loved and that I love my family so mcuh and they are imrotant to me.

    So even as I get out of bed adn walk on the broken flass and feel this buring pain as I mive witheach step at least I can walk. No life is not the same and i have so many painfulconditions that feellike I ma going to just cry. I don't like this being overly emotional all the time and crying at the drop of a hat. I hate the over emotional feeling taht i have. and therer is not much taht I can do do change it.
    I am who I am and i live withp ain all day and it is eally hard to live wwwwwith and disllkethe the way I feel/ TToday life is a bit hard. OFf to bed I go ]. Love ya,Rosemarie

  2. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Hang in there honey!
  3. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    It is nice that you can find the good side of life to pull you through rough times. This disease is awful and takes such a toll on us.

    You have so much good going on in your life.



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