So tired if pain and fatique

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 16, 2003.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Each day seems to get harder now as I am so tired and as you can see by the time of this post I am STILL AWAKE . It does not matter what the pain doc gives me to help with sleep I still don't sleep longer than a few hours and I wake upagaing adn then sleep a little more but I always feel so tired. Right now I am going to muder that train across the street. It keeps ticking and letting it's hydo brakes go off it souns like steam just rushing and it is so loud that I can here it down stairs . I am going nuts with this noise going off every miiiunet and a half I can't even get the police tohelp they saed to watch for the railroad guys tomorrow and ask them to PLEASE park it further down the tracks so that I can get some sleep.
    As I said before I looked at a apartment and it is really nice $650 a month and $650 deposit. And as I have no job yet I dont know just how I am going to dpay for it. All I know is that I have to move out of MY home before I have no control over what I can do and how I can function. All these years the hubby has controled me in little ways like making me ask permission to have lunch with a friend and if I could have money for a doctor's appt.HE is still doing it I don't have the money for thrysday's dr's appt so I had to ask him and he imformed me that HE has NEVER DENIED ME ANYTHING THAT WAS A RESONABLE REQUEST I need $25 co-pay then there are the six rx's that I have to fill that day and theya re $6,00 but that is while I still amon his insurance and I don't have enough money to pay for it all he gave me $45.00 and then needed five back for his lunch so now I have fourty dollars to pay for all of it and it wouldn't be enough. And I don't know what to doabout it. I am so tired of being alinne and whith girls who have been negitively inspired by their dad to think that I am faking this dd and that I could really work if I wanted to and not be so lazy. When hubby asked me what I thought a reasonalbe alimony was I told him around a thousand as he makes over $ 48,000 a year. and he blew a gasket and it was ulgy and I have no money and he still calls the shots so my finding a apartment and having the bishop ( I am LDS ) help me with the rent till I can pay it myself would be so nice thenI would not have to feel like I owed the soon to be ex something becaause he so grasiously used HIS credit card and charged that rennnnt money just one more bill that he thinks I would owe half on what did I do to have him be so mean and nasty I just don't want anything to do with him right now and Iwant it all to go away and get it over with aso that I can start healing form his abuse emotionally. Thanks for listening to me rant on and on while you would rather sleep . You mean so much to me jsut by what you say and showing me that you care and understand all the pain i am in . tonight is really bad as a storm front is moving in so my back legs and knees are flaring and I am in tears because nothing that I take seems to get into the really deep place where all the pain is. I am going to try and sleep now {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs to all }}}}}}}}}Rosemarie a friend and fellow suffer WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FIND THE OFF BUTTON FOR THAT TRAIN I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I AM IN TEARS BECAUSE THE NOIIICE IS SUCH THAT IT REALLY HURTS ME EACH TIME IT BLOWS OF THE STEAM I am going to bed love to all and may god bless and keep you safe in his arms Rosemarie
  2. Missnae1

    Missnae1 New Member

    I know how frustrating trying to get sleep can be. You sound like you have a lot to shoulder and what you really need is just rest, rest, rest. Until you can move and get rid of your ugly ex.....can you try ear plugs for the train? It just might help a little. Just a thought, not much help I know but every little thing you can do to alleviate irritations will help. I'm sending prayers your way.
  3. LITEFLAMES

    LITEFLAMES New Member

    Dear Rosemarie,
    I Understand wear you -r- w/ you'r soon to be X''
    I Watched my Mother be Interagated by my Step father when ,I was a Kid, My mom Would go shopping & when she got home , He would look at the reciet & if thear was litterly a Dime left, He wanted it ,{bull} I swore I'd Never allow
    That to Happen to me ,,WELL I'v Worked sense i was 9, I worked w/ the carnivale W/ My family} Well 4 yr's ago I had to give up my own Bissness becuse of this DD, And Sense
    My husband give's me $20 A week for Spending money!!!! lol
    Well Its goten So bad I must keep All my Reciet's , Becuse He questions everything I Buy,,AND I"M TIRED OF IT...
    So I Can Understand ,How you fill,
    I think It Go's Back to that Mrimail{spelling} Stage wear ,They Get Power from Being in compleat controle, You sound like you'r on the right track ,As you'r getting out of this Relashionship!!!!!!! And As Someone else said , Abought the ear plug's just might help w/ that train,,,
    I Just went throw a flare up ,And even the noise coming to my ears hert ,So I know how bad it can be
    I will pray for you right now
    GOD Bless
    cindy
  4. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    Gentle {{{{hugs}}}} to you and the others who replied. How sad, when families can't pull together and take care of each other.

    My suggestion would be the ear plugs too. My husband has to use them at night when I am snoring too much.

    I hope you feel better soon.
  5. mamacilla

    mamacilla New Member

    hi rosemarie,
    if you find you can't wear earplugs, as i can't because
    the noise i hear in my head is magnified and drives me
    crazy!, maybe you could get a noise machine. i have one that only gives off white noise and i sleep so much better with it. i bought it several months ago after a year and half of our next door neighbors doing remodeling. i couldn't stand waking up to jackhammers anymore! they are still not finished, i am so glad i have this noise machine. earplugs work for a lot of people though, my mom relies on them.
    good luck.
  6. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Rosemarie~~When you get out of that negative environment and away from your toxic, abusive husband, you will be AMAZED at how much better you will feel emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually.

    However, what you get out of the divorce will come down to who has the BEST lawyer. Do Not Use HIS Lawyer. Get your own BullDog Lawyer and tell him about the emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse your husband has inflicted on you for years; his controlling & dominating behaviors that have caused you mental, emotional, & physical duress; his negligence in withholding monies for your medical care; your depression and posttraumatic stress disorder resulting from his "mental cruelty" (get a therapist to write this diagnostic letter for you; obtain medical documentation regarding your medical condition and inability to work (medical records and a letter from your physician), and get a monthly alimony check from your EX that will compensate you for all the years of abuse and mental cruelty he put you through.

    You can bet he has lined up an attorney to see that you get as little as possible, and if you don't get your own guts & blood attorney to see to it that you get your fair share--you will end up with the short end of the stick.

    You can pay your attorney out a little each month from your big alimony check OR have your attorney include his fee in the divorce settlement paid by your soon-to-be-EX.

    Depending on what state you live in, you may be entitled to HALF of everything he has plus adequate alimony and health insurance he has to pay for. Also be aware of hidden monies or investments you may not know about. In cases like yours with husbands like yours, many men control all the finances--so the woman doesn't really know what he's got. A GOOD attorney will investigate into this. Don't just look at his annual income.

    And, being a therapist myself, I have never known any woman who lived under such emotional, verbal, & psychological abuse along with mental cruelty behaviors from their husbands who were not depressed and suffering from posttraumatic stress syndrome (PTSD).

    He has hit you where it hurts for a long time--now hit him where it hurts--his wallet!

    All I am saying here is you need a GOOD divorce attorney who will advocate for your rights and get you a reasonable, liveable monthly income and half of what belongs to you. Considering just his yearly income of $48,000--only getting a $1000 a month is not adequate. Know Your Rights!

    I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now, and I hope you get to feeling better soon--and move to that nice, new apartment! But, get yourself a BullDog Divorce Attorney who knows how men like your husband operate--where all the hidden stashes are including investments, purchases, and material/property goods.

    Look out for yourself because once the divorce is settled--you're going to have to live with the outcome.

    Blessings to you, Carol...
  7. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Hi, the pharmacy has great gently earplugs that will probably to the trick on the noise. take care...