Sometimes I feel like I just can't take it anymore! I've had FM for 9 years and Panic Disorder for 2 years. I'm 35 and I'm completely dependent on my husband who has been unemployed for the last few years and is older than I am. The stress of our terrible financial situation as well as myriad other problems has left me feeling 100% trapped, drained, and hopeless. We live in Europe and the health care I've received here is utterly subpar. I'm all for Universal Health Care, but the way I've been treated and the lack of knowledge about FM where I am is shocking! Also, the waiting times to be seen by specialists is crazy - sometimes 6 months or longer. I'm American and I just need/want to go home to the U.S.! It's been more than 3 years since I was in the U.S. and that was just for a short visit. I'm so depressed, exhausted, in pain, etc. and I keep trying to figure out how to get out of this awful situation...but there just doesn't seem to be any solution. The few relatives I have in the U.S. are incredibly selfish and can not be counted on for anything. In fact, being around them causes me enormous stress and makes my FM flare up. I miss my independence more than words can ever express! If I were healthy, I could move back to the U.S. and make a life for myself. Instead, I'm stuck, trapped. In every way possible. The older I get, the more hopeless it all seems. My biological clock is ticking so loudly it's giving me a headache and soon FM will have taken away everything including my chance to have children (something I really want). :-( My husband (who is European) and I have talked about moving to the U.S., but given the global financial crisis, my health problems, the fact that he's in his late 40s, etc...well, it just seems to be too big a risk to take. On the other hand, if we stay where we are now...I'm afraid the toll on our marriage will be too much and we might end up getting divorced. I have wanted to move back to the U.S. for a very long time and he is quite willing, but the problem is that there is so much risk involved and we don't have a support network in place. Then again, we don't have a support network where we live now...so it's not like we would be leaving something great behind if we moved. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent/ramble. I just need to talk to some people who understand.