Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Francey54, Sep 10, 2005.

  1. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member

    Hi Everyone:

    I am so upset and frustrated today. I usually don't go out shopping much and hardly ever alone. Mainly because I just can't carry any bags that are even half way heavy, besides the FM and fatigue I have a torn tendon in right shoulder and partially torn ligament in the left.

    Anyway, got up and felt like going to the mall to buy some necessary things, you know things you kind of don't buy until they are on there last leg. So I went to Sears and bought two pairs of comfortable slippers that were on sale, some undies, some PJ's and other small items that I could carry. Spent about $120.00.

    For the life of me I don't know what is happening to my brain. After shopping I walked around a little just window shopping but got fatigued so I called it a day. Got in my car (live only 7 blocks from the mall) drove home but before getting there stopped at the Pharmacy and bought a few things, got back in my car and went home.

    After drinking some coffee went to take the stuff out of the bags. bag from Sears. I said, must have left it in the car. Go to the car search inside out. NOTHING, bag gone!!!! I just started to cry, racking my brain as to where on earth did I leave that bag? Haven't the sligthest idea.

    I feel like such an idiot not being able to remember things. This is the second time this year that this has happened to me when I go shopping alone. I don't have money to throw away, still haven't got my retro back pay from SSD so you can imagine how unsettling this is.

    I know that maybe I shouldn't even bring this up with so many people in the Gulf Coast who have lost everything and I am lucky to have a home and all the basics of life, but is just so disheartening knowing that I can't trust myself anymore. I need to have someone with me whenever I go out to save me from me!!

    Have any of you had this experience? Any tips on how to stay focused?

    You have all been so wonderful and helpful to me at this site that I just needed to share this. I am feeling so stupid and useless. Please help.

    Love and many tender hugs,
  2. badluck

    badluck New Member

    I'm sorry you are having such a bad time. Please don't think you are stupid OR useless. You have a legitimate problem and that's why you are going through this. Bringing this up is OK too. Just because others are suffering doesn't make your pains/problems any less important.

    Maybe the next time you go shopping you can have an employee walk you out to your car with the package and lock them in the trunk, then go back in and window shop? This would be best so 1) you don't have to carry the packages and could enjoy your walk around the mall more and 2) get you into a habit of doing the same routine each time so it is easier not to lose your packages/purse/etc. This is what I have to do so I don't keep losing thing too. IT is just a matter of habit or routine.

    Also, please call mall security or the office and see if anyone turned the bags in. You could be pleasantly surprised and not have lost everything. Remember you are a lovely human being and don't deserve the trauma you are putting yourself through for a mistake we can all make very easily!!!
  3. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member

    Dear Badluck:

    Thank you for such good advice. Never occurred to me to ask someone from the mall to walk with me to the car. I am also going to call the mall security as you said, maybe I will be surprised and someone handed in my package. Slight chance but your never know.

    It is so frustrating when you feel like you are really losing it. I get so scared that at times I wonder if it is early Alzheimers. God forbid!

    By the way Badluck, I don't think Badluck suits you, you seem like such a caring and knowledgeable person. I would change my username to "helpful or goodluck". Just a thought as I am appreciative of your answering my post with such wisdom.

    God Bless,
  4. kbak

    kbak Member

    I understand completely!! I am so sorry for your frustrating day. Many days I have walked around just saying "I hate losing my mind". I can't tell you the number of things I have lost! I'm sure everyone here can really sympathise with you!!
  5. nanswajo

    nanswajo New Member


    I have had so many fibro fog moments lately too: letting the bathtub run for 2 hours, forgetting I had made myself lunch, losing my watch, forgetting appointments, etc, etc... I am scared that one day I will forget to turn off a burner and start a fire.

    And, yes, I feel incompetent. I get so frustrated. I will lose something I had in my hand 2 seconds before and I wonder if I blacked out or something. I wonder if I have epileptic seizures where you just stare and are out of it for a few moments. Honestly...I don't understand how some of these foggy moments can possibly happen. Doesn't it feel sometimes like you must have gone into a trance to have done what you have done?!

    I'm with you on it and I don't think we are all idiots.

    I finally got myself a date book and make myself put appointments in it as soon as they are made. I write myself notes. When I think "I'll take care of that later" I remind myself better do it now because you know you will forget.

    I get distracted easily too. One thing leads to another, then another and soon I don't know where I started and what I was planning to do.

    The more I worry about it the worse it is. I try to calm myself down and get quiet without distractions so that those stress hormones aren't all fired up all the time. I think this helps.

    Sorry this is so long. I share your frustration.

  6. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member

    I called the Mall Security to inquire if anyone turned in my Sears bag. No such luck. Thirty years ago you would find people who would turn in lost items but today it is possible but not the norm. I really needed those items and now I will have to wait for another sale. What can you do, when your mind is fogged like ours anythng goes.

    Kbak and Nancy:

    What you say about feeling like you are losing your mind, that is so true. I have called to cancel doctors appointments only to have the receptionist tell me, you already canceled! I also forget to go to my appointments making the doctors receptionist mad at me. It is like that al the time. I am really, really frightened.

    Why does FM affect us this way? God help us! Thanks for sharing.


    [This Message was Edited on 09/10/2005]
  7. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I am so sorry this happened to you. If you're anything like me, it was probably a victory just to get out and shop for yourself.

    Is there any chance you have the receipt? Maybe you could call Sears and explain what happened but still prove that you had bought and paid for the items that you need. I wonder if they would offer to replace them?

    Please don't feel stupid and useless, we're not...just a bit congitive impaired. We know we have a brain, it just doesn't work for us like it used to!


    Nancy B.
  8. Musica

    Musica New Member

    I'm so sorry you had such a frustrating experience. Please don't think of yourself as an idiot, or even feeling like one. Forgetting is a symptom of the condition, not a reflection on you. I know from what I read here that you would overlook symptoms of other diseases in other people, so I encourage you to do the same for yourself.

    Hey, I've been thinking about when I will be in Renton again. I see Dr. Holman on Oct. 4 so I can get his instructions about the meds before I have surgery the following week. We could meet a Shari's, or anyplace around there or in the Southcenter area. What do you think?
  9. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member

    WOW, you made me feel better. A whole bag of photos and souveniers. That hurt. I no that I am not alone with this problem but it is so debiltating.

    Like you, I lose everthing in the house. Can never find what I am looking for. This is so frustrating as I was always a veeeery (see I can't think of the darn word) organized (got it) person. My desks at work were impecable and at home everything was in its place. Now, I just rumage throught the draws looking for things which is a waste because I never find it. UGGGGGH.

    I wish I had someone to help me more but I only have my husband who is a workaholic, my parents are elderly with Alzheimers and are in a Rest Home. I have no one else on this island that I really know as a friend. Healthy people don't want to hang around a party pooper who is always sick, so I am prety much alone to my dislike.

    I appreciate the suggestion Doxygirl, you are a very loving and sweet person. God Bless you.

  10. Musica

    Musica New Member

    seems appropos, right? Anyway, I was thinking, when you go shopping, maybe you should have a backpack to put things in, so it will always be on your back. Or maybe a permanent type bag that you put one of those stretchy things on that also goes around your wrist. You know, like what people use to attach to their purse so their keys don't get lost - or to keep their small children on a leash!

    Maybe you could even set an alarm on your watch to go off every 15 minutes, to remind you to make sure you have your bags.
  11. cindymindy

    cindymindy New Member

    try calling Sears to see if the bag is there? Someone could have turned it in there or like me maybe you forgot the bag at the register. I do that all the time and the cashier constantly has to follow me out to give me my bag.
  12. rigby

    rigby New Member

    I got yesterday and find I had left the water running alnight in the kitchen sink. It does make you crazy. I forgot it was the hot water can wait to see that bill!
  13. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i've done that too, i've got up and left purse in a booth in a resturant a couple of times. but fornately my ex husband remebered or i did eventually and it did get recovered. on time i came to me, someone was nice enough to return it to my house i was really distraught. that time my son was a baby and sick i was p/u his antibiotice. the ohter time i i had over $300 cash in my wallet and left the darn thing right there at the grocery store counter, i know the man behind me must have taken it. i had my 3 year old in in the shopping cart and did want to wear his shoes and i don't like him to go w/o because people spit and stuff on the ground. anyways i never got that one back.

    suggestion. go to a local hardware store and buy a laundry/grocery cart. sort of like a baby stroller without the seat and baby. i bought one because i leave in an apartment and it is murder on me to carry laundry to the other building and bring in the groceries. i paid about $30.00. plus you can throw in packages in the cart and lock your purse there w/one of those clips you can can at the hardware store and you can have your arms and shoulders free. then you don't have to be so paranoid about someone still your purse and bags. i know it is horrible ot have shoulder problems i can't even go shopping and have a should bag on it it hurts too badly. so when you go store to store to get your things you can safely throw them in your cart and on to the next one.

    hope this helps.

  14. sandi24

    sandi24 New Member

    As someone else said you probably forgot it at the checkout, we are so concerned putting our change or cards away we forget the purchase!

    Do you have a sears card ? credit card purchase ? If you used your sears card CALL Sears NOW! Explain what happened and if some jerk found the contents they wouldn't want your stuff they prefer cash so they'd try to refund the purchase, the security cameras will pick this up and the sears card would be a good clue as to when,where etc.

    That is theft! So check with them first then see what they can do to help you. I am sure they will bend over backwards to be of assistance.

    Please let us know! This is such a common problem of this DD :(
  15. sheried

    sheried New Member

    I am sorry you are going through this. I hope that someone turned your bag in. Hopefully, someone will run accross it and turn it in somewhere.

    My story is much more frightful. I actually got out to my car without paying for an item that I had completely forgotten about. Got arrested for shoplifting. The amount of meds I was on at the time with the fibro fog did me in. I am still fighting this charge.

    Hope everything turns out okay for you and you can find your things.

  16. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member


    Nancy, Muscia, CindyMindy, Regina, Rigby, Jodie, Sandi24
    and Sherie (hope I didn't forget anyone else)

    I am grateful for all of your suggestions. Musica,the back pack idea is good except I have bad shoulders and couldn't handle the weight, but it is smart to do if you can.

    Driving and going blank is abother nightmare for me as I see for you too Regina. It is so scary, I have missed the exits on the highways so many times that it has become a joke.

    Rigby, I have done the same thing leaving the water running and worse leaving the door open!!!! Now that is a nightmare. My husband has come home from work finding the door unlocked and has a fit with me. It happens when I go downstairs to get the mail, I just open the door and keep walking. He says, one of these days I am going to find you knocked out on the floor and the house robbed or worse dead! He is right, but I forget.

    I like the idea of getting a laundry/grocery type cart to push along while I shop. Will shop around for one. Thanks for the suggestions.

    Oh Sherie so sorry about the shop lifting charges. That had to be so humiliating. I will pray that the charges be dropped and your name cleared. I hope your doctor can write a letter explaining your condition.

    I tried calling Sears today CindyMindy and Sandy21 but I don't know if its because its Sunday no one answers. Will call again tomorrow. I did use my Sears card so maybe there is hope in having that charge reversed?? I was so distraught yesterday that I ddn't even remember that detail. Hadn't thought of that girls, you are smart cookies.

    God Bless all of you my dear friends, you are always so helpful.

    Many tender hugs,

    [This Message was Edited on 09/11/2005]
  17. scrapnurse

    scrapnurse New Member

    Just read your post.

    sorry you are sad about what happened especially when you
    lost items that you paid a lot for.

    I get fibro fob all the time and I am an RN. I do the craziest things. I speak with patients and forget what I was saying or why I went into their room or better yet what they asked me for and I leave the room only to have to go back and ask again what it was they wanted.

    I feel like a freek and they must think so too. I am not like that every day but when I am in a flair it is worse. Hard to talk to dr.'s at work sometimes and I can't form a word that I am thinking of. Well I just try to laugh along with everyone cause if I didn't I would cry.
    I am 42 and somedays feel like I am 92 with alzheimers.

    Anyways the worst was the day I got to the garage and drove up to the top instead of to the bottom and couldn't find my way out. Been parking there for 5 years. Now that is crazy.

    Hope your find your stuff.
    Bless you
  18. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member

    Oh Scrapnurse:

    Now I don't feel so bad. I too start talking then forget what I am talking about. The words just won't come out, how frustrating, right?

    Now you being a nurse is kind of scary. I imagine you have to write everything down so you won't forget what patient gets what. At least you have a good sense of humor about it.

    I usually do too, but sometimes it is to much and I really get frightened. How true I am 54 but feel like a 90 year Alzheimer patient!!

    Thanks for answering my post and sharing your story too.

    God Bless.

    Tender hugs,
  19. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Twice in last year or so I went through a drive thru, ordered, went to next window and paid and then drove on by the pick up window and went home without my food!

    I make a lot of lists......that helps. We all are creatures of habit, so always do things the same. For example. I locked the door after I get my mail. I now do it without thinking..for it is habit. I always check and make sure I did not leave lights on in car, etc. I have a tablet that I use a page for each month...and list what I have to pay and cross them off when I do..with amount pd./Date and check #.
    Great to refer back to.

    If you did not leave your packages at Sears, someone might of removed them from your car when you went to the Pharmacy?
    Putting your bags in the truck would be smart to do.

    I go to swim exercise classes and my beach bag was heavy to me, so I bought a roll along that looks like a back pack from Staples for only $19.95. I love it. Has lots of space for much. You could even have your money and credit cards in a little purse in one of the smaller compartments and not take your purse when you shop, less to carry and worry about. (Do not leave purse in car unless it is in the trunk. ).

    A spare car key in the pack would be ideal also. My car has a trunk release inside the drivers area. That can be locked also. But locking the car is smart. Also can get a elastic bracelet that is made for your keys. Those have been around a long time and are inexpensive.

    I also know that when I am tired and if I have stress, I forget more easily. Also it has a snowball going down a hill effect. We get stressed because we get mad at ourselves for the way we do things or do not do things and this causes more stress. So "Be an Elf to yourself" and love and forgive yourself on such. Treat yourself well. Nothing is so important that we should beat up on ourselfs.

    I can hardly shop more than one store at a time. To tiring and I start making mistakes because of my pain and all. So I use a scooter cart in places that has them and it makes the shopping experience more fun.

    We should all realize that we are all special for all we have to cope with...we do go on. I count my blessings anyway I can.
    Many gentle hugs.........And many blessings..I hope this helps.
  20. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member

    Dear Nancy B and Sues1:

    Thank you both for sharing so much informaton. I am definitely going to buy me some kind of a fold out cart that is lightweight. I like the one from Germany sounds so convienent. Don't know if there is something similar here.
    I am also going to leave little notes on the door to make sure I lock it when going out and coming in.

    One last thing, I called Sears, no one turned in the bag and eventhough I told them what happened that I lost the items, they said they couldn't give me credit or reverse the charges. There is too much fraud and not that they didn't believe me, but they can not make exceptions. I guess I really can't blame them. Oh well my lose was probaly someoes gain. Maybe whoever found it needed it more that I did.

    Many hugs,