SO with CFS

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Jen128, Oct 17, 2005.

  1. Jen128

    Jen128 New Member


    I'm new to this forum. My boyfriend had recently been diagnosed with CFS. He is very emotional about having this illness and I have been very supportive of him. However, he is really burnt out about this and doesn't want me in his life. He tells me that he doesn't want me to "suffer" along with him and that I'm better off with someone else. Not only has he shut me out of his life, but also his family. This really hurt me as I always thought that we were a team.

    Anyways, I'm here on this forum to learn more about this illness and hopefully I could be more helpful to my boyfriend. Any suggestions for an outsider? Thanks.
  2. Jen128

    Jen128 New Member

    Thanks everyone for their support. It has been really difficult, not just for him, but for me as well. I have had many sleepless nights worrying about him as he won't talk to me. He is not just my boyfriend, but he is also my best friend. We have been dating for many years. I have no one to talk to about his problem, and he doesn't want anyone else to know about his illness. Of course I will respect him and his wishes. I turn to this group for support.

    I did get the opportunity to see him last night. I couldn't help it, but I kept crying. It is very hard to watch him so ill. I took him out for dinner last night and even though he was hungry, he didn't have energy to eat. He told me to stop crying as it is upseting him as well. But it is just soooo hard not to cry. I'm very emotional of a person.

    I have been writing little love notes here and there to show support. I guess it helps on his good days. I will follow the advice with giving him some alone time. I hope it will do him some good.
  3. Jen128

    Jen128 New Member

    Yes, he is starting to come around, but very little. It almost felt like a trial period, just to see how our relationship will work out. I have been trying my best to accomodate him and his needs, but he doesn't see my hard work. He doesn't even say thank you. I have read that stress is one of the factors of CFS. I know his biggest stress factor is his finance. I paid all his bills by myself this month. I told him that if he was to ever loose his job, that it isn't the end of the world. I will try my best to financially support him. I'm not rich, but for him, I will work to make ends meet. Also, I have read that diet is a factor. He doesn't eat at a set time, nor does he watch what he eats. Due to his financial situation, he eats what he could afford, which is basically ramen. I told him that he needs to eat healthier, so I just gave him $300. today. I don't know what else to do. Thanks and sorry for the vent.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/17/2005]
  4. bpmwriter

    bpmwriter New Member

    have you considered going to the bookstore and buying him a book on the illness? there are a number of them out there.

    "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome : A Comprehensive Guide to Symptoms, Treatments, and Solving the Practical Problems of CFS" by Dr. Cheney

    "Living Well with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia : What Your Doctor Doesn't Tell You...That You Need to Know" by Mary Shomon

    if he's eating ramen, then he hasn't done a whole lot to educate himself yet, which is understandable as he's probably still reeling from the onset of the illness. eating right doesn't have to cost a lot. if you be the catalyst for his education on how to feel better, not only will you be helping him, but you'll both be able to cope much better.