So You over did it.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by beans, Nov 18, 2002.

  1. beans

    beans New Member

    One of my CFS pet peeves. I expand my self to do some thing I really enjoy from time to time. Like take a bike ride on a good day once a year and even on a good day I am tired!

    Or even force my self on these days that I am forceable to do major house work. Maybe once a month.

    Then when I suffer the extra fatigue and can not do as some one else is doing or as some one else expects me to do.

    Or even in simple conversation telling a friend how worn out I am.

    I often get so you did too much.

    I want to scream and say I am tired every day.

    This CFS has nothing to do with what I do.
    Its a condition, A disease or some thing.

    I want to say I also have to live and breath.

    Some times I am exhausted from doing nothing at all that with in reason would make me so tired.

    I can not plan to do nights events often.
    I may be too tired to go.

    I can rest all day and do nothing all day and still be too tired to go.

    If I try to rest all day to do night events and I have a good day earlier in that same day were I feel I need to get out side and do yard work or house work.

    Trying to rest all day for the night event can make me very depressed.

    Many have a hard time understanding this.

    One night I could not do some thing and seen a friend in a store that sells every thing were I was waiting for medication just prescribed for a flue and as I was waiting I was getting needed grocerys this person said to me you were to sick to come with us last night but you can shop this morning.

    I felt like Killing her she got a tongue lashing that morning.

    I said don't you think I would of rather of been with my husband than to be home sick.


    From others I hear do nothing all day don't cook, don't clean just sleep or rest.
    Of course they are not offering to cook and clean for me.

    I can not all ways sleep all day.
    I rarely can sleep all day.

    Even when I am exhausted and need sleep I can not sleep all day let alone when I am feeling like moving about.

    Other days all I can do most of afternoon is lay in bed.

    Its a hard balance to strike.

    I do often expect my husband to go and do what he needs to do.
    I do not make him stay home and baby sit me if I am only going to lay in bed.

    He does not like to do things with out me and his social life is already very low.

    I tell him to play foot ball with the guys or go to the movies with the others.

    Some times he will and other times he will stay home and have quiet evenings with me.

    When I am home alone those can be the loneliest times when I am so tired , I cannot read any longer or watch TV and i am not a big TV fan to begin with. I am also then to tired to or use the computor and the sleep does not come untill I take my medication.

    Once in awhile I can call a friend and say I an so tired and bored of it and can't move. But you can't bug the same friends too often with stuff like that.

    I have one freind she will say to me why are you so tired and each time I have to say you know I have CFS that gets real old also.

    I got a phone call yesterday afternoon from a friend and I did not take it .
    Too tired and Its hard for this friend to understand also.

    Oh well just part of the daily struggle.

    Beans




  2. beans

    beans New Member

    One of my CFS pet peeves. I expand my self to do some thing I really enjoy from time to time. Like take a bike ride on a good day once a year and even on a good day I am tired!

    Or even force my self on these days that I am forceable to do major house work. Maybe once a month.

    Then when I suffer the extra fatigue and can not do as some one else is doing or as some one else expects me to do.

    Or even in simple conversation telling a friend how worn out I am.

    I often get so you did too much.

    I want to scream and say I am tired every day.

    This CFS has nothing to do with what I do.
    Its a condition, A disease or some thing.

    I want to say I also have to live and breath.

    Some times I am exhausted from doing nothing at all that with in reason would make me so tired.

    I can not plan to do nights events often.
    I may be too tired to go.

    I can rest all day and do nothing all day and still be too tired to go.

    If I try to rest all day to do night events and I have a good day earlier in that same day were I feel I need to get out side and do yard work or house work.

    Trying to rest all day for the night event can make me very depressed.

    Many have a hard time understanding this.

    One night I could not do some thing and seen a friend in a store that sells every thing were I was waiting for medication just prescribed for a flue and as I was waiting I was getting needed grocerys this person said to me you were to sick to come with us last night but you can shop this morning.

    I felt like Killing her she got a tongue lashing that morning.

    I said don't you think I would of rather of been with my husband than to be home sick.


    From others I hear do nothing all day don't cook, don't clean just sleep or rest.
    Of course they are not offering to cook and clean for me.

    I can not all ways sleep all day.
    I rarely can sleep all day.

    Even when I am exhausted and need sleep I can not sleep all day let alone when I am feeling like moving about.

    Other days all I can do most of afternoon is lay in bed.

    Its a hard balance to strike.

    I do often expect my husband to go and do what he needs to do.
    I do not make him stay home and baby sit me if I am only going to lay in bed.

    He does not like to do things with out me and his social life is already very low.

    I tell him to play foot ball with the guys or go to the movies with the others.

    Some times he will and other times he will stay home and have quiet evenings with me.

    When I am home alone those can be the loneliest times when I am so tired , I cannot read any longer or watch TV and i am not a big TV fan to begin with. I am also then to tired to or use the computor and the sleep does not come untill I take my medication.

    Once in awhile I can call a friend and say I an so tired and bored of it and can't move. But you can't bug the same friends too often with stuff like that.

    I have one freind she will say to me why are you so tired and each time I have to say you know I have CFS that gets real old also.

    I got a phone call yesterday afternoon from a friend and I did not take it .
    Too tired and Its hard for this friend to understand also.

    Oh well just part of the daily struggle.

    Beans




  3. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    sucks, doesn't it?????? And, you know, all of these people who hate this depressing stuff can just bite my big old butt 'cause sometimes it just feels good to say it, huh??? If they don't wanna read it, they can just skip over it. I'm in the mood to be a b*$%&!!!!
    Love and comraderie,
    Kady
  4. MsJoey

    MsJoey New Member

    last time I looked it said this is a SUPPORT board...but I know what you mean, Kady....I see nothing wrong with telling it like it is. How can anyone disagree with that? Both of you take care. Jo
  5. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    I definitely can relate to everything you said, I am just too tired to write all that, good job.

    Jaci
  6. LindaGa

    LindaGa New Member

    The visit today with my dr did me in .LindaGa
  7. Rich333

    Rich333 New Member

    Beans you nailed my pet peeve. You try to get some self respect by doing a little cleaning or something or you just try to have a little fun (anyone remember fun?) and you gotta pay the toll.

    It's like living with a cobra in your pocket. Gotta move carefully...very carefully. Do small stuff and be happy with that.

    Never give up.

    Richard
  8. sapphire

    sapphire New Member

    Hi Beans,
    I feel the exact same way. I can totally relate with all your posts. I just cannot deal with most people anymore. Especially my family. I visited my Mother and spent the night Saturday night and my brother was there. I refuse to subject myself to that again. There is no understanding there whatsoever. I am just sick of it and sick of trying to deal with people that does not have a clue. I do not have any real friends left. Guess they couldn't deal with me.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my husband and kids. They know what I go through and how much I want to do things.
    It's a shame that we have to be looked down upon because we have an illness that no one knows anything about or for that matter cares anything about. I also have CFS and FMS. The CFS is by far the worst for me. The fatigue is just so unbearable sometimes. But, you know, everybody gets tired. (joke) Most people don't know what tired is.
    Sorry for venting on your post. Just couldn't hold it in any longer.
    I'm so sorry that you and the rest of us have to struggle with these issues all the time. I keep thinking it will get better but in 13 years it hasn't.

    Feeling your pain,
    Sapphire
    [This Message was Edited on 11/19/2002]
  9. beans

    beans New Member

    Often when I say I am tired after being asked how I feel.

    I get from the other person I feel tired too.

    Or they have been up since 4 AM and worked all day and could not go to bed untill 3AM BLa BLa I am tired too.

    I ran into two men recently one is the man who often is up at 4 AM etc and this first man asked me how I was and I said I am tired .

    His buddy was not listening to us but standing beside us.

    He then turned to me and asked me the same question and I said hey you guys have to come up with a new question to ask me because I am tired of telling you I am tired.

    So the one said Ok how are your feet.

    I said Oh you want to hear about my feet now I can talk about my feet.

    And we laughed and went our ways.

    Very few people really care how you are doing.
    It just a greeting that I get tired of answering if a person acts like they are waiting for a greeting.

    My life is slow I do not have much to relate.

    It a real conversation stopper just ask me how I am.
    Beans

  10. sapphire

    sapphire New Member

    I've got to the point if someone asked me how I am I just say, I'm fine. They really don't want to know anyway. Rarely do I find someone that "really" wants to know how I am doing. My family never asks. I had a liver biopsy recently and my brother has never even asked me what they found out. I believe he must think I'm making this up. I say I don't care what he thinks but I just realized I must. Otherwise, I wouldnt be writing about it here.
    It's terrible what we go through with an illness we can do nothing about.

    Sapphire
  11. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi, Beans:

    Yes, I know what you mean. I guess when people ask how you are it's just a greeting and nothing else. I don't think they really want me to go into a long dialogue of how crappy I feel most days. I save that for only a few friends and my husband. But even with them I don't say it all the time, because when you think about it, what are they going to do about it anyway? I mean, it's not that they don't care, but unfortunately they can't make my endometriosis and fibromyalgia disappear. And I don't want to keep talking about my health all the time. I do have a good friend in Texas who also has endometriosis, plus other health problems. She and I can always be so open with eachother, which has been great. We met through the Endometriosis Association and have become like sisters. Meeting her because of my illness has been one of the positive things that has come out of all this.

    I am still managing to work full-time and every day I get asked how I am. Of course most of them don't know my situation, but I do get tired of saying "fine".

    Ellen
  12. Rich333

    Rich333 New Member

    Here are some comebacks I use for the "How are you?" people:

    "Not too bad all things considered." (They usually leave that one alone, its like this box they don't really want to open.)

    "The usual stuff." (That could mean anything.)

    "Well I'm here" They don't like to go much further after you toss that one at them. And some people do understand what you mean when you say that.

    Keep on keepin' on

    Richard