Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by nikon, Oct 10, 2006.
Can someone tell me hopw CFS effects one's social life/acitivities/relationships?
I have both CFIDS/CFS and Fibro. I can no longer be Superwoman on the weekends, going grocery-shopping Saturday morning and then attending a wedding and reception or party only a couple of hours later. I can only attend one special event per weekend, and I have to rest up the day before or after.
The change is if you were already planning on attending a friend's art show or other event on October 6th at 7pm but then, at the last minute, another friend invites you to her event on October 7th at 2pm, you can only choose one, or else your body will flare within 2 days of you pushing yourself beyond your limits.
I have FMS. I have a pretty busy social life, but find it harder to keep up sometimes. We had a big event this weekend. Usually we would have spent the weekend at this event..as it was this year one night out was all I could take. I had fun while I was out but dead the next two days. Alcohol absolutely knocks my socks off.
but I also have a lot of fatigue with that.
I unfortunately don't have much of an outside social life anymore...I used to go dancing almost every weekend a few years ago.
The majority of my social life now is online. I come to the message board here, go to chat rooms, have friends I chat online with and I play an online game that is all live people so I make friends there too.
I do go out occaisionally but it is few and far between. I go out to the store when I have to and I go to my doctor's appointments but as far as going out socially it doesn't happen very often. I am hoping that maybe it will happen more in the future.
I am very happy to have my online contacts though!!!
a divorce.. she has dealt w/alot of similar problems and so have i....
going to college just part time is all i can do most days...i get a break coming on here... sometimes i have to control myself on here..and focus on school studies and raising my nearly 17 year old...
well i need to go to bed...i have to wake up at 8 am..at the latest take him to school then i will allow myself to sleep for a bit before class starts...
I have very little energy to socalize. The other problem is planning. Never sure when I'll be awake, how much energy I'll have, whether I'll be depressed, etc.
I play cards w/ old friends now and then. Spend a lot of time on the computer.
thanks for the insight. if anyone else has any thoughts on this, I would appreciate it.
My social life has dwindled alot.
I cannot go out at night at all due to sensory overload. And early mornings are out too. So that means I have a window between 10am - 3pm where I can do whatever I need to to - only one thing per day, sometimes 2. So that could be a doctors appointment, or coffee with a friend.
On a good day, I can go to a daytime movie, but it gives me a huge headache.
I do miss being able to go out for dinner or drinks with friends.
It can be very difficult to adjust to having CFS. My social life has gone way down hill since being sick. I used to go out all the time before I got ill. Now I hardly go out at all. If I do it is usually running errands.
It can be hard on friendships and relationships. Since I couldn't go out much anymore I started feeling left behind when I first got sick. I felt like everyone else was living life and I was stuck watching life pass me by. My relationship with my boyfriend became more difficult for me on my end because I started feeling like I was boring and wasn't the fun girlfriend that I used to be. I got very insecure.
BUT what you have to do is recognize the change and how you feel about it. Spend time with friends who understand your limits and who also maybe know when to push you to get out and do something when you are getting in a funk and isolating. After I got sick I made friends with some great people who were very good at coming and keeping me company and getting me out when I needed too.
Also with my relationship I had to talk to my boyfriend and let him know how I was feeling. That I felt insecure that I wasn't the same "fun" girlfriend that I used to be. Talking to him about it really made me feel better. I eventually got used to my limitations and when he would go out on Friday nights I was SOOO ok with not being able to go with him. I was happy to just be able to relax and spend some by myself and go to bed early. Also every now and then I do go out with him to a party or a bar (a couple times a year or so) and I have a great time (no drinking for me since CFS). Unfortunately I am the one who feels hung over the next day just from being out. But it is fun.
Just try to make the best of it. Do what you can but KNOW YOUR LIMITS. It is important (at least for me) not to be isolated. Try to spend time with people who understand that you have limits and communicate with people to let them know how you are feeling physically and mentally.
This is all so helpful. I love all the insight I am getting.
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