Some things to think about/Just found this on another website it very funny

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by daylight, Aug 8, 2009.

  1. daylight

    daylight New Member

    1. if a store is open 24/7 why are their locks on the doors

    2. why is it that dogs stick their heads out windows but hate when you blow in their face

    3.why are they called APART-ments when they are stuck together????

    4. Why is an autograph called an autograph when it isn't a graph on automobiles?

    5.If Ms. Cleo can predict your future why does she ask you for your name? their any lactose and intolerant people in Wisconsin

    7.can you teach a new dog old tricks

    8.and if you can then why cant you teach a old dog new tricks???

    9.Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

    10.Why, when we send something by ship its called cargo and if we send something by car its called a shipment?

    11.If you get olive oil by squeezing olives, how do we get baby oil?

    12.Why do you have to have a drivers license to buy alcohol if you can't drink and drive?

    13.b4 they invented drawing boards where did they go back to?

    14. If u can't drink drive, y do u need a driver's license to buy liquor, y do bars have parkin lots?

    15.why is it that a doctors work is called a practice?

    16. Y is it that when u r drivin and lookin for an address, u turn down the volume?

    17.If a cow sneezed would milk come out of his nose

    18.what hair color do they put on bald men's drivers licenses



    21.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

    22.Why do they call it "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" when they know the answer is going to be everyone?

    23.How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?

    24.Could a tanning bed kill a vampire? If not would they get a tan?

    25.How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?

    26.If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn't you be able to go anywhere you want?

    27.If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

    28.If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

    29.Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?

    30.stop looking its not in there

    31.Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?

    32.Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?

    33.Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

    34.Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

    35.If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

    37.If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

    38.Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

    39.Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

    40.Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?

    41.Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

    42.Is sign language the same in languages other than English?

    43.Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?

    44.Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

    45.If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

    46.How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    47.Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?

    48.Can you cry under water?

    49.364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged Why is that ?

    50.why is it that someone says head up when they mean for you to duck?

  2. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

    I saw this before, but a lot more have been added. Very funny. Sounds like George Carlin material. or maybe Jerry Seinfeld.
    About #15... "Why is it that a doctor's work is called practice"?

    Makes me wonder ...
    Ball players need to Practice Before the real game.

    How would you feel if you're facing heart surgery, and you found out the surgeon is going to "practice" on you?

    If you were facing 20 years in prison would you go to court with a lawyer who's going to"practice"?

    I remember when those ' Baby On Board ' signs first came out. One very HOT day I was walking past a car with one hanging in the window. "YIKES"!!!
    I quickly grabbed a baseball bat and smashed the windows out and opened the door.
    To my relief the baby had already escaped.

    Whew, that could have been a close call! Good thing I'm so observant.

  3. lilaclover30

    lilaclover30 New Member

    So very cute! That is the kind of humor I llike!!! Nothing dirty of obnoxious about it, just funny!!!!!11


  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Jim. Why aren't there more good Samaritans like you in this day and age?

    The above is an example of a rhetorical question. All of the items in the
    above list are rhetorical questions. Except no. 30 which is not a question.

    Rhetorical questions are asked to make a point, not to solicit information.
    They may be very short: Why me? Who cares?

    Or rather lengthy. How long must we endure the bumbling and ineffective
    actions of this incompetent President and his administration?

    Now one writer has suggested that the George Carlin type questions above
    are not really rhetorical questions since they are asked for humorous
    purposes. The writer is Sherry Holetzky.

    But what does she know?

  5. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

    Your last statement/question ... very rhetorical! ... ha ha

    I was watching Jay Leno on Letterman 20 years ago when he stopped and laughingly turned to the audience and said "these are rhetorical questions folks. You don't NEED to answer them"!

    That's when I learned what a rhetorical question was. The next week I told my wife that something I asked was a rhetorical question. She said "what's that"?

    Wow! I knew something that she didn't.
    I felt SO smart! (temporarily). Didn't last long but fun while it lasted.

    Late night television is so educational.