Someone please understand

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by supergirl99, Sep 27, 2006.

  1. supergirl99

    supergirl99 New Member

    Hi all, it's my first time on this site. I was diagnosed with CFS (ME) in July this year. Sometimes i'm ok and other times like today I feel so angry, frustrated and alone. A couple of my friends really try to understand but they don't. My Husband is wonderful, but even he can't really get it - I don't think you can unless you have it! A couple of my friends - one in particular has been more of a hinderence than a help. I have wanted to give up work for a long time for other reasons. Back in October I was off sick with depression (I have had depression since 17 yrs old) I went to my doctor and asked her if it was possible that I have ME after talking to a friend who has it and recognising a lot of the symptoms, she referred me to a GP with a special interest who confirmed that I have CFS. When I told my friend she said 'that's what you wanted' I tried to explain that what I wanted was an explination for how I felt, not to have ME, but she doesn't get it she even said 'oh yes they used to call that yuppy flu'. I was so upset and stunned. My other friend and anyone close to me says I should 'loose contact' with her and I'm inclined to agree, but I find it so hard to break ties. She does nothing but hurt me though and she is just out for herself. I am having a really bad day today, i'm all over the place and feel very low and anxious. I feel so DAMNED ANGRY. I have always fought everything and now I just have to let this thing I have win and not fight it, I have to rest and leave the house to squallor and I just can't do it, I am finding it really hard to adjust and still 'boom and bust'. I don't have this illness as bad as other people, I think I have it quite mild and so I feel really guilty for feeling so sorry for myself. Apparently I just need to 'enjoy the time I have with my daughter and not having to work' this is of course according to my 'friend'. Sorry this is so long I am just so frustrated today. I have no doubt that I am still depressed on top of this, but most days I can cope.
  2. baanders

    baanders New Member

    on loosing friends and family members. They will never understand. I've had to get help to "let those people go." I know, many have lashed out with me in anger. Many don't understand and never will. Most are afrait it is catching.

    BTW, since you have a mild case, it can go away. However, it can get worse if you 1. grieve too badly 2. do not take care of yourself...and go around sick people i.e, people you know have colds and children with contagious illnesses can snowball this illness 3. become overly anxious 4. wear a seatbelt and avoid neck injuries.

    best of wishes to you

  3. srollins

    srollins New Member

    loose the friend!!!!!!!!!!! what have you got to loose.
    she sounds very toxic to you. some people are just too much trouble.
    it took me alot of yrs to understand this. i infact just gave a "friend" her walking papers this past writing so there is no misunderstanding. felt really good.

    anyway darling life is too short. i have suffered with depression,and fm/cfs for 30 yrs. i am just now coming to terms with the facts.i am now able most days to count my blessings and enjoy the things i can still enjoy and do.

    i have finally learned what's important. i also have learned to pick my friends. she is not a friend worth having if she makes you feel worse then ever.

    just take care of you and take one day at a time and do the best you can. no one has a right to expect more out of you.

    hope you feel better soon.

    {{{{{{{{big hug}}}}}}}
  4. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    trust me it will probable get worse for you before you can come to terms with this. i have one, count them one friend left and she isnt there for me like she use to inlaws dont get it either. my husband and my mom are the only two who truely kknow what my life is mom is also disabled and my hubby lives it every day with me. your friends at some point will think your faking your illness. charlene
  5. srollins

    srollins New Member

    bump for supergirl!
  6. Bunchy

    Bunchy New Member

    BUT I really know where you are coming from as do many other people here.

    This is a story we hear time and time again.

    I, too, have lost all bar one friend who is bedridden with CFS. We talk on the telephone, email and I see her once in a while.

    My sister and hubby are the only people apart from my one friend who really know about how my life is and who I am close to.

    I would also say let the "friend" go...these people are just not helpful and make things worse. I have let many such "friends" go over the years - they are just not worth it.

    Instead find support here - it is comforting just to read here and see others going through exactly what you are going through.

    You have to do the basics in your house if you can and leave the rest as and when you are able. That's what I do and hubby helps out too. It is VERY frustrating when you are a clean freak like me...LOL but it is not as important as letting your body and mind get the rest and relaxation it needs right now.


    Bunchy xxx

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