something I really miss

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by loto, Dec 14, 2009.

  1. loto

    loto Member

    Hi All
    Ya know lately I've realized another thing that FM has stolen from me, and it's really depressing.
    I used to be able to have a few drinks a couple times a month with my husband and friends. They were social occassions that I am missing now, and since I came down with FM.
    Friends ask me now and then to come out and have a drink with them, and when I tell them I don't drink anymore because of meds, etc, they'll say well come out and talk a while! Well, they don't understand that by evening time I'm so tired and "un-social".
    I also feel that I let my husband down regarding social events also -- I never want to go anywhere, and tell him to just go ahead without me because I don't want him to be left out of stuff, and don't want him to be bored because of me. He will go out with friends occassionally, but not often enough.
    Anyway, lately it's really been getting to me. We used to go out all the time and have fun, and now I'm just a real bummer to be around. I hate it!!!! FM has stolen a social life from me too. What else will it take away????
    I only hope and pray that when my kids have children (probably still have about 10 yrs till they're at the age for that, maybe less) I will have energy and ability to enjoy grandchildren. Right now I feel that's all I have to look forward to, and I will just want to die if I can't be a grandmother!
  2. sascha

    sascha Member

    not to be able to take part in 'normal' activities. has happened to me many times. and many times i just can't even try-

    but, sometimes, i do manage to take a teeny amount of wine in a tall wineglass full of sparkling water. it gives me such a boost. the amount of wine is just about negligible- but i have the sense of 'being there' with friends, family- sometimes this does work for me.

    also, maybe you could take fortifying snacks to bolster you ?? like high-quality protein- raw nuts, hard-boiled eggs- some nourishment to help your stamina. this also can help me along.

    i don't know of course- only you can chart your way. and take cushions to make you as comfortable as possible. i'm just wondering if there are any tactics you might try to get you out and able to interact at least to some extent. i know it would boost your spirits so much.

    i'm 67- my younger son and his wife had twins last January. i've gone through the terrors of wondering, can i participate in their care at all- and if so, to what extent without my falling by the wayside. it has been quite the process of sorting this out- SOOOO WORTH WHILE- what a joy it is to be with them. DON'T WORRY IN ADVANCE is my advice- lots can happen between now and then- it could well be that major discoveries are in our future that will come to our rescue.

    keep doing all you can in the present to take care of yourself. to help myself along i listen to Eckhart Tolle CDs, do quiet time of turning off thoughts (i'll keep at it- to relax mind and body), keep studying and practicing ways to NOT react to stress (it sure helps to have friends/support people to help work on this with), and i discovered EFT online and finally checked it out. it's now a major tool i use to get back on track. (check or Emotional Freedom Techniques through Google to get inf.) i highly recommend it as permanent aid on our challenging journey due to our conditions- best to you- Sascha
  3. loto

    loto Member

    for your reply.
    Thats a lot of good advice that I will try.
    I may also talk with my doctor about trying a different Anti-D, or raising the dose on my current one. I know I have some other issues to work out, as well, but just get impatient and have feelings of hopelessness a lot lately.
    Thanks so much for making me feel better, and telling me to not get so discouraged!!

  4. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    my Husband Plays Music, which means he's around bars & returants, which means i almost never go:( and if i do i will ty & choke down drink or two knowing im going to be really sick from it.

    a lot of our friends dont know im sick, im sure they wonder why im never around, but don't ask. so i dont tell. also its really depressing to go out in the land of the living & pretend.

    im one of the lucky ones that has Alchol Intolerance also, so it's a double whammy, i finally just stopped the trying to down a drink just to feel normal with all the other people.

    so when they ask me why im not drinkin, i just say i dont drink, my Husbands drinks enough for both of us:)

    hang in there, were in for big changes in 2010! i can tell.and if your meds arent working,ask for different one or up the one your on, theres no reason why we should have to suffer from depressionn & anxiety at the very least, thats something they can kinda controll.

    we have to stay sane some how.
  5. Fibrolady37

    Fibrolady37 New Member

    loto im so sorry to hear that you are missing out on your social life i am in exactly the same position as you its so hard for us having to take all these meds.
    Where do you live?
  6. loto

    loto Member

    I live in Southern Illinois
    Where are you at?