Something special we can do for the supportive spouse's?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Britt2, Oct 22, 2006.

  1. Britt2

    Britt2 New Member

    I have a great supportive boyfriend and I'd like to know some good suggestions that I can have in order to really let him know how much I appreciate him and everything he does for me. He deals with supporting me emotionally, financially and everything in between....
    I think sometimes our 'other halfs' need some support too, this must be hard on them.....

    Any good ideas? :) Thanks so much!!
    Erika
  2. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    This is a great subject, My husband has been so wonderful thru out this whole Illness and I just cannot think of anyway to express my greatfulness to him,

    My Ex would of made me feel guilty for staying in bed and not cleaning the house, I am sooooo proud of my hubby for his understanding and thoughtfulness.

    Lets see what others have to suggest.

    Love to all, Ann
  3. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    Well you are lucky again. I am pretty lucky in that area too.

    I am also very simplistic I just tell him how much he means to me.

    My LIL (Live In Love) and I have been together for 22 years. It will be 23 years on Halloween :) and in those years I have found that he really likes to hear how much I do appreciate him and we try not to take each other for granted -- it is so easy to fall into that trap when you have been together for sooooo loooong....LOL

    I think it is great that you want to do something special for you BF...

    Lets see you could:

    Put on some of his favorite music, draw him a hot bath and have it ready for when he comes home from work and then let him relax for a while.

    Maybe put a new book near the tub for him to start if he enjoys reading (mine loves to read) just a thought.

    I have also found this is a lovely way to show how much I care.

    I am sure whatever you come up with -- your BF will love it -- simply because it is from your heart.

    Best wishes,

    Karen :)
    [This Message was Edited on 10/23/2006]
  4. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    but when im up in the middle of the night i write little i love you messages and stuff them i his pockets so when he is at work he know he is loved by me for everything he does. charlene
    [This Message was Edited on 10/23/2006]
  5. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    This post is a refreshing change. Many of us (myself included) tend to complain about all the ways our spouses or significant others don't support us, but we tend to forget the times when they do.

    Here are some suggestions, although some of these would need to be done when we are feeling better:

    Maybe fix his favorite dinner. Or if you aren't up to that, maybe have pizza delivered or pick up or have other food delivered that you know he especially likes.

    Rent a movie that he likes and have a nice quiet evening together.

    Sometimes I put in a special card or note in my husband's lunch that will add a bright spot in the middle of his work day.

    My husband is a chocoholic (as am I, unfortunately). Once in awhile I will buy a candy bar and put it in his chair for him to find after he gets home.

    Have a cold beer or other cold drink ready for him after he gets done mowing or doing any other job around the house that will work up a sweat.

    Once in awhile I vacuum out his truck.

    Sometimes when he comes home especially tired, I will have him sit in his chair and serve him dinner. I think we all like to be pampered sometimes-it makes us feel loved and special.

    That's all I can think of right now. I do think it's the little things that really mean a lot to us.

    Ellen
  6. mindbender

    mindbender New Member

    I'm a guy, if there is one thing I wished my wife would have done is this. I wish she would have been supportive in the area of telling me that I was doing a great job trying to make ends meet.

    Whether I was or not doesn't matter. When I was out there busting my butt, knowing I had her support rather than her constant knit picking and complaining about how I was doing. I would have figured out what else to do.

    A man just wants to hear how much he's needed. The rest will usually fall into place.

    Would he step on a land mine for you? If yes than he'ld just like to hear it once in a while.
  7. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    I got very lucky last year when my daughter had met one of the drivers for an Ad.

    She knew how much my hubby did for me so she asked the driver if she could buy a jacket and hat for him .The driver did one better he had a leather jacket with his old car # 18 on it and gave it to her with a hat to match.

    She called and told me Mom I just got Bob the best Christmas gift you could ever give him.She mailed them to me and I wrapped them for him .I included a not that Kim had thought of him and gotten this jacket for me to give to him for all he does for me.

    Just yesterday he wore it and said he would never part with it nor the hat and wants to be buried in it.

    He also said it was the greatest gift anyone could have given him.We have been married 5 years and I have been sick 4 I told him that the lord put us together for a reason .He knew Bob would stick with me no matter what.

    Oh sure we have our ups and downs who doesn't.We lost my 50,000.00 a year salary.Big hunk of change.The stress does get to both of us .We always make sure we sleep together and speak no matter what and that little peck goodnight.

    Sue
  8. Britt2

    Britt2 New Member

    Wow, am I ever glad I started this........

    I really like the little notes idea.....I haven't done that one yet!

    My BF just loves chocolate too....I like the idea of leaving one for him from time to time (right now I just give him the 'stink eye' when he tries to eat chocolate around me.....Im just mad cuz I can't have any!! :)

    Those are all great ideas - thanks so much....I want to keep this one going too!
    erika
  9. angellwolffe

    angellwolffe New Member

    my hubby does a lot of stuff to help out. sometimes, i say lets take a day and do what you want to do. I take the night off before first to make sure i'm well rested. This usually includes going to chicago to buy cds. he an avid collector and a walking book of knowledge on music. He even knows alot about bands he doesnt like. Then after hours in the cd store we end up going to Papadeux's for dinner. This kind of day usually takes alot out of me but at least he's enjoying it and its usually well earned

    Angellwolffe
  10. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    I was just thinking of this topic today. My boyfriend has truely been a life saver for me. He does EVERYTHING. Work, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, literally wipes my tears, etc. I don't know what I would do without him. I was thinking about what I could do for him today since he is so wonderful.

    I stay up late and wake up late so a lot of times after he is in bed I send him an e-mail telling him how much I love and appreciate him so that he sees it in the morning and has a good start to his day. But today I was trying to think of other things I could do since he has been so extra special the last couple of months that I have been having a difficult time. These are all great ideas so THANK YOU!

    One thing I thought of was to buy him something that he maybe has been wanting or I know he would really like.
  11. Gothbubbles

    Gothbubbles New Member

    One thing I think we can do for our Significant Others/Spouses/Live-in-Lovers/Lifepartners/Supportive Loved ones/Etc. and it doesn't cost a dime, takes no energy at all, and it actually SAVES energy?

    Be naked!

    Your S/O will love it!

    I also try to listen and be there for my BF the way he is for me. They need that too.

    I also give him permission to talk to his trusted friends about my illness so that if it gets overwhelming for him, he has someone he can turn to about it (since he can't really complain to me about it--there's nothing I can do).

    I am an excellent cook, though I rarely have energy for it. He appreciates that I tell him how to cook good meals, because he likes the pride in making 'em and the teamwork of it. He says "I couldn't do it without you". And he gets a delicious meal!

    I love the notes idea, I send him emails, but the notes idea is much more personal.
  12. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    My sister and her now ex husband used to leave love notes on the bathroom mirror for each other with dry erase marker. It was cute (although I guess it didn't get them too far).

    Also a sexy photo would be well appreciated I am sure.
  13. Manaleon

    Manaleon New Member

    I would recommend 1001 Ways to be Romantic. It has a lot of good ideas. I'm reading it now and I absolutely love it.
  14. Britt2

    Britt2 New Member

    I wanted to say thanks so much for letting me know that.....I just had a great talk with my BF and let him know that I appreciate him helping me out financially and helping to do whatever is needed to support me (and my shopping habits!) The look in his eyes was priceless....you were right, he was looking for that. Thanks so much again, getting a guys perspective is wonderful...any other helpful hints? ;)
  15. Britt2

    Britt2 New Member

    Trying to keep this going...
  16. evol_or_revert

    evol_or_revert New Member

    I also have a fantasic boyfriend. don't know where i would be without him.

    A good website with lots of ideas is www.lovingyou.com.

    evol
  17. Britt2

    Britt2 New Member