Sometimes I feel as though I'm just sitting around

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by abbylee, Nov 1, 2005.

  1. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    and waiting to die.

    Even the eye doctor told me that he'd probably have to increase the magnification in my classes just one more time.

    BEFORE WHAT? Death?

    My body hates me. No matter how I try to pamper it, it fights me with every turn.

    Will they ever find a cure? or at least a cause? I didn't have a trauma that started mine. It just started.

    If anyone has an explanation for this constant pain, please let me know.

    thanks,
    abbylee
  2. spmary

    spmary New Member

    Abbyee..I feel the same way. I'm trying to de-stress my life and will have to give up the pc,,,my only window to the world.. IT HAS MEANT SO MUCH FOR ME TO VISIT THIs BOARD, YOU HAVE PROVEN SO CARING AND LOVING ,BUT i MUST CUT DOwn ON EXPENCES,trying other ways too so mabe I'll be back. I've loved every one of you and learned so much.
    So many,many, thanks to you all and gentle hugs and love, Mary
  3. jfrustrated

    jfrustrated New Member

    Dear abbylee,

    I have some slight understanding of what you are going through, but have no answer. My eyes are ok - light sensitive and shortsighted -but ok. My legs are giving out. I was going to the local salt heated pool and that was starting to help, but now I have become chemical sensitive and the pool water makes me sooo sick. I know what you mean about how we try to pamper our body, and it just goes and gets something else wrong. Now, I am checking out walking sticks at the local chemist, because that might be the only way I can get around. Then I shall have to face the sympathy and cynicism of my friends if I appear in public with a walking stick. Sometimes we cannot win, can we? Add to that a good serving of guilt, because we feel there is somthing we are not doing that we should, and the recipe is pretty complete. Hang in there, the 'experts' do know more than they used to, and there are some great ideas re. pain management, mainstream and alternative, on this site. But I know, - sometimes it is just too much and too hard.
  4. cjr2003

    cjr2003 New Member

    Hi Abbylee :>) Something about your post really moved me! . . . Maybe it is because the exact words that you expressed I have felt myself at times . . . too many times. I know I am having a pretty rough day when I do feel like I am just sitting around waiting to die. But, honestly, life is like that for me sometimes too. The pain can just be so overwhelming and neverending. And just when you think your about to get through a bad flare, or get used to another symptom of this disease. . . 3 more symptoms start and you have to get used to them too, and then a migraine comes, or my awful menstrual cycle that puts me out for a week, it is just pain, pain , and more pain. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there is endless housework, and friends who feel you are neglectful,supper to cook, dishes to do, over and over again. I never in my life thought I would ever complain that it hurt to wash the dishes; at least, not until I was like 75 or so. Just the stress from dealing with all that we have to deal with from having this disease is enough to have to see a therapist for. Every day I try to rationalize why a disease like this has to even exist, and why people have to suffer so endlessly, while others go on to live productive, happy, seemingly carefree lives. I try not to dislike other people because they are healthy, I really do, but sometimes, I just cannot help it. Especially if I see that they really have no clue what a gift it is that they really have in their health. I remember a particularly upsetting comment that one friend made to me one day when I was telling her I couldn't go to work one day, because I was so sick; she said " Well! wish I had a reason to stay home so much! " " It must be nice to have an excuse" she said. People really must not have a clue what statements like that can do to us inside, because if they did, they would never open their mouths to utter such hurtful comments. I know what you mean about your body "hating" you. I feel like that quite often!!! I feel like I spend all day, and night trying to make myself comfortable because I am so uncomfortable. Deciding on whether I do a particular activity or not always depends on how uncomfortable it will make me , and that really drives me nuts. S-times I feel like it all has to revolve around me, and how it will affect me, and how I feel, and how much pain it will cause me, and I hate that too. It just isn't easy having what we have, and the only ones who really and truly seem to understand this are those who have what we have, or those who truly love us and have compassion for our distress. I guess I just try to take it moment by moment, and look for the good in everything. That is not always easy, but, somehow, I believe because of the faith I have and my religious beliefs/practices, somehow, I have been able to find contentment in the circumstances I am in. God has blessed me w/ a loving husband and good family. I am not sure there is an answer on this earth as to why our pain must exist, but I do believe that there is a plan for each of us, and I believe in the Bible and the Lord and His Will and Way. I hope that you can find some contentment in your heart; some peace at least for the moment. I know this pain of this disease can seem so eternal. I will pray for you. :>) LOL Carla
  5. JLH

    JLH New Member

    You know what I tell my doctor?

    "Life sucks, then you die!"

    I read that on a bumper sticker once, and I think that is correct. I have been sick all my life, then after being sick, I'll just die.