sometimes I feel like quitting this battle

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by faithinlove, Jun 24, 2009.

  1. faithinlove

    faithinlove New Member

    OMG I feel so bad today it hurts for my little 4 lb chihuahua to get on my lap.
    what the heck my shirt even hurts touching me body.
    I am so so tired of pain and what energy I do have left this dd takes it away from me.
    I know I said I want to quit but I will not because I still have a lot of fight in me.
    I just for one day when my family sees me they could only begin to realize only a small portion of pain so they could understand me. I do not want them to hurt I just want them to know me. My muscles are burning so bad they feel like they are on fire. I stay nauseated most of the time anymore.
    My family sees I do not look good but yet I hate to say this but if I had been given a dd of cancer my family would know that I am sick.
    At times I wonder if it is me that brings it on myself.
    I just do not know how to fake and look like I feel better.
    I cannot do that anymore. I have to find a new way to deal with this.
    I apologize to all for just griping. I just had to get that out of my system.
    Thanks and prayer to all

    LEFTYGG Member

    have you tried brushing your skin. when mine is burning bad i take a vegetable brush and dry brush in circular motions all over my body.

    another thing is EMT . its a tapping technique on acuputure points it works look it up on youtbe.

    love gail
  3. jaded_lady

    jaded_lady New Member

    A year ago, my neurologist was doing random blood tests and found me very defecient in vitamin d. After taking prescription strenght vitamin d (50,0000 iu 2x a week) for about 2 months, my pain decreased.

    Recently, I was hurting more and more, my skin hurt for my clothes to touch or for my cat to walk across my body.

    Again, the neurologist found a severe defeciency in my vitamin d levels. I am taking Rx of 50,000 iu again 2x a week.

    This time I am going to see an endocrinologist to figure out what is happening to the vit. d (and increasing the pain).
  4. FMsaddenedspirit

    FMsaddenedspirit New Member

    I understand all to well.... You had me worried for a brief moment. Faith . I know just what your saying as I to am there ...I am sorry you are struggling with this. seems a flare can last any where from a day or two, to two or three months. get a break for a day or so and then back into a flare. never ending cruelty from this DD

    I go around every day trying my best to seem ok to very body else.. As I really don't want to worry my family... my poor husband when he comes up to check on me in bed ( on bad days when I have to go lay down right after work.. or after I made dinner and can't take any more ) and the tears are just streaming down my face. I try not to let him catch me sobbing . he just looks so worried because we both know there is nothing we can do . except take another Perc and a Soma and try to get comfortable so I can sleep , or just stay in bed . I to am tired of faking I'm ok as really I'm not.
    my family has just grounded me lately also... I love to help my Mom with her yard as she can't do it any more her arthritis is so bad in her knees she can't get down to do it.. so I like to pull the grass from the flower beds.. well every body finally caught on that after words I'm down , bed ridden for the next few days.. so no more for me... I hate this... everything I love to do .. I can't even clean my house , grocery shop or take care of my yard, ( my neighbor has been coming over to take care of my yard for me Bless her heart., )

    I also understand the pain. most days my cloths hurt my body , lately my braw to .. feel run over by a Mac truck ,drug down the road for about 100 ft. and left . I'm like please don't touch me it hurts to much... the fatigue is so darn sever even with the use of my c-pac. I still wake more tired . Vit D levels are good. and everything else.. just discussed this with my Doc on Tuesday... so who knows...

    Ok I'm rambling now... sorry all...... Faith .. just want to let you know I understand where you are with this... its so darn hard every day.. we do still need to find the things that bring us joy. and try our best not to let this DD get the best of us and our attitude. .. keep fighting my dear.... and its ok to let your family see you are not doing so well today . its better than faking it and then over doing or setting yourself up for guilt because you can't do things...
    I know I have involuntary moans and gowns lately ... do you .. ? I to am learning , but its hard to give up the things you love to do.

    Faith you are a very strong person. and have so much love in you . it shows in your post's and it can feel it . honey you are never alone. take care of your self ....

    Huggles . Spirit.
  5. debilyn

    debilyn New Member

    You so perfectly described exactly how I feel lots of days. I'm pretty new here, and I don't have any words of wisdom like other amazing folks here.

    I just want to say that I feel you and as bizarre as it sounds am a bit comforted and strengthened to read that I'm not the only one feeling like quitting some days.

  6. michellemariewalls

    michellemariewalls New Member

    When I am resting and stretched out on the sofa, my tiny cat of 5 pounds will jump up and hit a spot on my hips that makes me see stars. it is excruciating! It hurts me to wear clothes. My daily "uniform" of choice is a black v-neck, tag-less, fruit-of-the-loom t-shirt. Black because it hurts too bad to waer a bra and i am can get away with it. also track pants from wal-mart mens dept and crocs. All of these are staples in my life. Do you have a good doctor? Are you in a horrible hoy climate like Texas where it is miserably hot. Heat makes me feel so much worse.
  7. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    In fact I just finished a ranting vent on the "emotionally drained" thread. I wish people could fully understand us and do more to make our lives easier. I'm tired of feeling guilty because I can't work, can't get disability cuz I haven't worked in 12+ yrs, and I no longer have anything to look forward to. Not a fun way to live.

    Here's hoping there will be better days ahead for all of us. I'm trying to figure out something to do to improve my home life situation, but I'm completely lost. I just wish I could at least support myself financially, I'm so afraid that my dh will get fed up and divorce me...then what? I can't believe what a mess I am right now.

    We need to hang on to each other here, take care of yourself.

    xxxooo Hermit
  8. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I want to throw in the towel too. I feel worse today than ever. I feel like I'm surely dying now but I never do. I also know I have to stick this out because I've looked deeply into the alternative. That's based on my beliefs though, I don't expect everyone to see things the same way.

    You aren't bringing your problems onto yourself. There are millions of people with same problems and they all have different personalities yet are treated basically the same way by family and friends. There are supportive people in some people's lives but they are pretty rare.

    Just keep doing the best you can and enjoy the good things in your life as much as possible. That's what I do anyway. Hang in there.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/25/2009]
  9. faithinlove

    faithinlove New Member

    I am so sad today I cannot even put into words but I really thank each of you so much for even taking the time to posts for me to read.
    You can truly not understand how much it helps me to have each of you just listen and let me know some of you feel the exact say way as me.
    I am going to my family doctor today for some more help.
    I would like to say to fmsaddened spirit you usually always post after me. Thank you for the kind words you said about me.
    You know just to hear something nice is such a big thing to me.
    I found this little quote yesterday and I thought I would share it with friends
    To the world you might not be anything but to someone you just might be everything.
    (((hugs))) to all
    If I learn anything new at the docs today I will certainly share it with my true friends here.
    I am trying with all of me to
    keep the Faith that things will get better
  10. FMsaddenedspirit

    FMsaddenedspirit New Member

    Faith ,,I am glad to see your post today... I really hope the pain meds help you... if you can feel just a little better its worth it. because your worth it.. and life is worth living.. even if it is Different than we had planed it to be for us. You have so much love in you , it shows through your post.. and are so caring . such an abundance of Faith comes through you.. you have always responded to my post. and I have appreciated your input and caring words.. as you said , this can really be such a pick me up .. as we all go through some really bad days... and wonder just how are we suppose to make it through. and how are we suppose to carry on.. I now honey .. because I'm there...

    Shoot I'm a mess lots of days with pain , its just so hard and never stops seems....and the fatigue .. oh my goodness. ..I just have to stop.. as activity just makes it all worse for me... I thank God I was guided to this site and all of you.... my extended family , friends . my support group.. and my place of education on this DD . LOL... I get more from you all than any Doc..
    I have to tell you ...
    I have a sign in my office my daughter made... it says " Have Faith " under it says .." Keep your Faith in God and I promises everything will turn out alright.. "
    I like the quote you posted... :) To the world you might not be anything but to someone you just might be everything
    brought tears to my eyes.. as it touched my heart... Thank you for this..
    See I'm rambling again.. and best go now...

    Take care of your self . Soft Huggles
  11. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Hi, I just thought I'd check in and see how things went today. Hopefully your doc will have something to help you.

    Loved your my cats, I am everything:) purrrrr

    Do something nice for yourself this wkend, watch a good movie, eat something deserve to be pampered. Too bad we all didn't live near each other so on our good days we could help those who are having bad days. A kind of "what goes around, comes around" type of thing. I love to do Random Acts of Kindness, it always gives my heart a boost. Wish I could do one for you!

    xxxooo Hermit

    oops....typos........:([This Message was Edited on 06/26/2009]
  12. momof3inks

    momof3inks New Member

    I agree with everyone on this post. this condition is so debilitating and just know that you ARE NOT ALONE. There are so many of us that have sympathy and compassion for what you are going through.
    I too have just cried so hard my head hurt and I felt like I wasn't going to make it thru the pain. I've even thought I couldn't live anymore if I had to live like this for the rest of my life.
    When i look into the bright eyes of my 4, 19month and 13 year old...I change my mind and I find myself drudging up that last little bit of energy to make it through the pain.

    You are in my prayers. If you are a believer of a higher spirit, just know that you are loved and he never leaves you.

  13. FMsaddenedspirit

    FMsaddenedspirit New Member

    Faith...... Just checking on you :)

    have not seem you post in a few days.... just want to make sure you are ok.

    How are the new Meds working out ? I hope they are allowing you some better days...

    Soft Huggles. (((( ))))

  14. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I TOTALLY understand you, as I am in the same boat

    We cannot give up, just keep pushing through it

    We are STRONG.....There are days that I can't even wear a bra it hurts so bad

    I don't take pain meds. This sounds crazy but I rub Vicks Vapo Rub on the spots that really hurt and put a dry towel on top. Kind of numbs it and sooths it. DO NOT USE WITH HEATING PAD OR ANY OTHER TOPICAL!!