Sometimes I get so sick of everything....

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by LeightonLAM, Apr 25, 2007.

  1. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    It seems like some days it is impossible to have anyone understand my illness, my feelings, my pain, etc.

    Today my husband forgot to leave me my morning pain pill before he went to work.
    I got up at 9:00 with my kids and realized it.
    I tried to get through the morning without my pain meds. By about 10:30 I was hurting so much that I decided to call my husband at work to have him bring it home to me. They told me that he was working at one of the sections that doesnt have a phone but they would have him call me when he got back to the building.
    At 11:50 he called me and he was still out of the building, the section he was at DID have a phone.
    I told him that I needed my pain meds and that I was hurting really bad.
    I asked him when his lunch break was since it is usually at 12:00.
    He said he would be coming home in about 20 minutes. Adding on the 10 minute drive, it would be half an hour. At 12:15 I was getting anxious because I was hurting and I knew it would just be a few more minutes.
    At 12:30 I sat by the window and watched for him.
    At 12:45 I started to grumble under my breath, and at 1:00 I thought about calling him again but realized that I still didnt have the number for where he was.
    He FINALLY walked in the door at almost 1:30!!!!
    I was hurting so bad I could hardly get around in my wheelchair.
    He gave me my pills and then went to get himself some lunch.
    I couldnt get into the kitchen because he was standing in the middle and our kitchen is no wider than a hallway.
    So I still couldnt take the pills until I could get a drink.
    When I got my drink and took the pills I told him that I needed to lay down for a few minutes because I was hurting so bad.
    I went to lay down but both my 4 year old and 2 1/2 year old were laying on my bed watching tv.
    And my 14 month old was in her playpen beside my bed.
    The lights and tv were on.
    So much for resting.
    Then my husband came in complaining that his throat hurt so he needed to lay down until his lunch break was over.
    Once he got up, I asked him to help me get the house in order a little because I hadnt been able to keep up this morning due to pain.
    He grumbled about it and was mad at me for trying to keep him a few minutes late from lunch.
    He left me with forms to fill out for child care and medical care and food stamps.
    And told me to apply for disability while he was at work too.
    Then he and I argued about him not helping out at all.
    He told me that he couldnt make me and his work happy so he could only do one.
    He said that he couldnt let himself get in trouble with work.
    An example is the "sore throat" he has.
    I suggested that he go to sick call and get some medicine.
    He said no, he didnt want to "get in trouble"
    So instead, he cant do anything here because he doesnt feel well, so we suffer instead of his work.

    Sorry about all the complaining. I just need to get this off my chest.
  2. I think we all get that feeling often. But one question, why does your husband have your pain pills when they are yours and you need them? I would keep them myself so this wouldn't happen.
  3. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    My husband keeps them because he was "ordered" to after some of them were stolen a couple of weeks ago. I started a post about it. Someone stole my pills and because it was the wife of my husbands direct supervisor, things got miscomunicated and blown out of proportion. His work is wondering if I hid the pills to try and get more, or took them and reported them stolen to cover it up. I have never used drugs, and have never had a drug problem. The girl who stole my meds does. And she was the only guest at our house during the time the pills were stolen. I also caught her in the act but she didnt see me. But until further notice my husband has to keep my pain pills.
  4. jole

    jole Member

    Hi there! I'm so sorry you have to go through all this and be in so much pain. No one should be denied their pills, for pete's sake! I don't know how you do it with 3 young children. But I also don't know how your husband does it either.

    You two are both in a bad situation, and should be telling each other daily how much you appreciate each other. Especially after seeing sooo many women on this board who have had their guys walk out on them and their sickness.

    I understand that this may be only the pain of the day talking, and I hope that is right, because it sounds to me like you have a really loving, caring hubby.....I wish you better days with less pain!

    Friends - Jole
  5. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    Since you posted and made your life public, I'm responding publically and hope to keep this respectful. I'm responding to you because I had 5 children in barely 6 years. I was not allowed to use birth control because of the community I lived in and religious beliefs. I also lived on food stamps etc.
    Pain pills are a finger in the dam.
    To be so ill to require a wheelchair, waiting for dispensal of pain medication and 3 toddlers under 5 years with their needs and demands, I ask you to think very seriously about the pressure not only on you physically and emotionally, the pressure on your husband to be responsible for everyone while also having to work full time, but the emotional fall out on the children.
    No one can tell you what to do, I am speaking as a woman who was there, lived thru it and I know making decisions are not easy. You must get some control over your life, for yourself as well as your family.
    G-d be with you, give you strength and protect you and the kids.
  6. Lendy5

    Lendy5 New Member

    I have been reading your post and haven't replied not really knowing what to say since I have never been in the military. I can say it does sound like you have been going through some tough times but I tend to agree with another previous poster.

    Please don't take us the wrong way but your husband is carrying alot of the burden and now has the responsibility of securing your meds because of your previous guest.

    Times like these the two of you need to stick together instead of getting upset over something that can be talked out. Cleaning the house is not a priority especially if he is working and trying to support his family.

    You said you suffer instead of his work but it sounds like you don't take his work seriously. Ask yourself what would you do with a family of five if he lost his job?

    Since the last incident when he got threatened I would make sure he was to work on time and got plenty of rest so he can make a living and come home to his family.

    I wish you and your family the very best and everything will get better. You just gotta be patient. I hope I have not offended you as this was not my intention. Take care.

    Carolin
  7. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    I just wanted to write you a note of encouragement. Please read this carefully; I am putting my heart in it for you.

    Some of the things said on these posts might have hit you hard. I know they would me. Please, take a step back and consider every angle of your situation FROM A DISTANCE, so to speak. That way, you can better objectively analyze it, consider it, keep what will benefit you, and throw the rest away.

    Please, don't let the hurt fester inside until it hurts you physically as well as emotionally. I know it is hard to do, when it is hurting you. I am trying to learn to do this (I struggle with it) in order to survive.

    You are much prayed for; my church family is rejoicing over you! When times get rough, you have a Friend Who will never leave you or forsake you -- Our Father in Heaven. Take your burdens to Him, for He cares for you! He wants to carry you through these tough times. Let Him! You will find the sweetest relief. I can tell you this because I have experienced this.

    Love and prayers,

    Debbie