Soon 2B Son In-Laws Death

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by XFemaleCycleRydr, Feb 18, 2004.

  1. XFemaleCycleRydr

    XFemaleCycleRydr New Member

    Hi Everyone -

    I posted on the Fibro board about the death of my daughter's Fiance' on Feb 6th. He was in a traffic accident in route from his work to pick up his son from the babies mother, during an awful ice storm here in Massachusetts.

    I have been in a lot of pain and suffering with anxiety for the safety of all my family members sense this tragic accident. A lot of people responded with the idea that I should share more of Ray's life. I really do need to do this I think, because I need to be the strong one for my family as well as his. I really haven't been able to grieve myself as I'm really afraid to and don't want to upset others.

    Raymond was born 2/23/82, my daughter Angela was born 2/20/82. We were all to celebrate there births this weekend.

    Ray's parents have shared with us the photo's they have of Ray and themselves during the few years they had together. Many pics of many trips they took with there son, as well as just everyday photos of them all together or Ray with his many friends growing up. These parents are the most extraordinary people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Raymond was there only child and there really was something special about him.

    When he walked into a room it looked like there was a glowing light around him. He had the face of an kidding. We all have said this at different times that we were with him. He truly left a stamp on anyone who met him. This was proven at his wake when over 400 people attended and some of us that met the night of the wake talked about how we felt we knew one another only because of the things Ray had shared with us all about one another. He NEVER said a bad thing about those that were special to him and there were many. He just loved to share stories with everyone. He had the gift of gab and the thirst of knowledge about anything and everything.

    Ray was small in stature but was a huge man. Clean cut kid with the most perfect teeth that showed big when he was smiling...which was often. The most piercing green eyes that just gazed at you and made you smile just looking at him. His friends teased him often about Ray's fear of loosing his hair but being hairy otherwise. His father said it best...less hair on your head, you must live with so much of it on your chest, with His friends called him Hey Ray (hairy ray), chubauka, chewy. My daughter called him glomkey she was his egg roll.

    Raymond graduated in 1980 and trained as a machinist. He dated a girl he met in school. They broke up in 1981 but shortly after the break up her car broke down. Just like Ray to help anyone, he went to help when she called him. They ended up together later that night but only to go there separate ways after that night. She waited until she was 3-4 months pregnant and Ray had already met my daughter before she said that the child might be his.

    These two kids worked together threw all of this. Waiting for the DNA test was hell for them both. But when they found out the child was Ray's they both pitched in together with the mother to make things better for all involved. I know older adults that can't or won't work together for there children.

    Although now that Ray is gone, the mother of his child is causing a commotion (which she started at the wake) that just isn't appropriate now or ever for that matter. She and her mother are and have been in this together from the get go to try and make others lives miserable. Its awful that my daughter and Ray's parents as well as myself and my husband just love this child so much. He is now being used as a pawn by the mother looking for what she can get from us all because we feel bad. She has not worked to support her son but has relied on the support of Ray and my daughter as well as her own mother. She really needs to find work and help herself now. May god bless her and steer her in the right direction.

    This being said, I just feel better being able to say it here. I won't act out to the child's mother or let her run our lives. Neither will Ray's parents as they have warned me about letting her into my life and have already said there good-byes to her. When the child is at an age to understand we will be there for him. We have already started a trust without mothers' knowledge.

    Okay enough space has been given about this bitter subject. These kids, as a couple acquired a lot of stuff together. Ray had a race car that was something he really loved to do with my daughter. As well as a street bike they loved to ride together. But I've never seen such love between two young people become so strong in the two short years they have had together. These two kids grew up way before they should have had to. They had Ray's son 3-4 times a week instead of "partying" with there friends.

    My daughter works two jobs, one full time the other part time. She would wake up at 3:00 in the morning to open the convenience store that she worked at. Then from there go to work for 9:00 at her full time job. Ray worked his full time job as well as part time work with his father. Although on the weekends Ray would get up with Angela and go to the convenience store with her to keep her company and help with the newspapers or stocking the cooler for her.

    He would at times just show up at her full time work with flowers for her. He was also the chief cook and bottle washer at home with my daughter. He was pretty much a neat freak but would leave clothes on the floor in there room, which would drive my daughter She always would "forget" to put her dishes, at the very least, in the sink. Which would drive Raymond crazy.

    In just these two short years together, Ray & Angela created a wonderful life together. They were able to do many things together. They both have wonderful friends that they had together or met on there own and just shared with them all. I can't believe that Ray is gone. I know that time will heal all. I have lost many family members but never thought a life so young could be lost. Leaving behind my daughter who has now lost the love of her life. I can only pray that I am strong enough and wise enough to be there to help my daughter.

    I DON'T apologize for the length of this post, only because there is so much more that could be shared about Raymond and the Legacy of his short life. He was loved by many but no more then the love my daughter has had for him. I can say that I am missing him very much myself. My love and prayers to all that have lost and loved everyone in there lives.

    Thank you for letting me talk here in this forum. Please pray for my daughter that her life will be a bit easier from here. Thank you for letting me share some of Ray and of my daughter with you all. Love, Therese
  2. jackiec

    jackiec New Member

    What a beautiful tribute to a very special young man. You have given me such a clear glimpse that I feel I've known a part of him. Thank you for sharing this. I will say a special prayer for your daughter and all who share in the loving warmth of his continuing presence.

    Bless you. JackieC
  3. PrayerWarrior316

    PrayerWarrior316 New Member

    First of all, I want to welcome you to the worship Board.

    Thank You so much for sharing such a lovely tribute with all of us. My heart goes out to your daughter, your family and this young man's family. It is so heatbreaking to hear about someone so young passing away.

    When someone so young passes away it is so hard to understand why this has happened. You'll have this young man's lovely memories as solace for your grief.

    I will certainly be praying for your daughter, your family, and this young man's family.

    Many Blessings to all, Judy <a href='' target='_blank'><img src='' border=0></a>