sorry i hadn't beenaround,healing from the abuse

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by saphire27, Jul 21, 2006.

  1. saphire27

    saphire27 New Member

    I see some newbies...GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My gals here know what i had been going threw, right ladies? Well things have calmed down, i experienced huge changes, WOW! But not all are good.

    I had found me a laywer, he was great, this was civil suit i'm talking about, we didn't even have to go to court, mom & dad begged to settle for 20 grand,we did, they made some good points),That was a SHOCK!
    So we just stopped it there, i'm not filing criminal suit, like my friend the invesgater said i should. But he is still my father,i don't want him to be in prison.

    I saw him on july 4th, he cried,.it was very emotional, he & mom drove up here, 2 1/2 hour trip.

    I was so nervous, but he's on the verge of a stroke,his dr upped his BP pils. anyway I found out horrorable thing his mother & sisters did to him at a young age too, i never knew what my dad had to go through growing up with them, i still remember some of them.

    But he should still not have done what he had done to me.i did tell him i forgive him, he was hugging me crying.
    He now says, you let me know if you need anything, to please call him. He's nervouse still, but i'm uncomfortable somewhat too.

    He wants me stay in touch OFTEN, he's going to church, he never went while i was a kid. They took away all there email addresses , so thats forcing me to call them.

    now my DH, is acting up again... I have no sex drive, i just tell him i'm sorry,it's been 3months or more

    Isn't it normal for mid 30s woman to want not to have sex at all??? There was something on dateline about this, but it left me at...welll what do i do now?

    okay plz tell me your thoughts on this. I think i deleted the posts that told everything.

    need help about my dad & my husband, i even told him he'll probally be better of getting out of our marraige & go to another women that will give him what he needs.


    [This Message was Edited on 07/21/2006]
  2. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Are you ok with how it went with your Dad? The settlement?
    Will you still be careful with your kids around him? Please???

    As for your hubby, he needs a good beetch smack right about now for giving you a hard time. (No pun intended) He needs to support you and you've had a really rough few months here lately.

    No, it's not quite normal for a woman in her 30's to have no sex drive. But most of us are on medications that may alter our sex drive.

    And the stress you've been going through these past few months is probably off the charts. These reasons alone will alter your sex drive.

    Ask your doctor...

    And I don't think your hubby would be better off with another woman. I think he'd be better off stepping up to the plate and being a man about this. He should be supporting you, not asking for more than you can give right now.

    Hugs,

    Nancy B.
  3. saphire27

    saphire27 New Member

    I agree too. I think we'll have to end up going to sex health MD.

    yes, i do have my eyes all over my kids when he's near,which is rare as far apart we live... he knows that too, I can't rememebr how many times he's cried, he said i'm the only daughter he's got, & he never show me love, he wasn't there for me he said to me he was a terriblw father, and much more.

    now he's offering me to call him if there is anything i want or need.Yeah, at first when i got it, i cried, i wished things would've been different. but then after a minute i don't dwell in it, he wanted me to think of the money as a gift for never helping me.

    saph
    [This Message was Edited on 07/21/2006]
  4. saphire27

    saphire27 New Member

    bumping for more to talk about this
  5. tata1580

    tata1580 New Member

    I am a newbie here so I am not sure exactly what has happended with your father but done a little reading between the lines here and know that I will say a prayer for you tonight.

    As far as the husband goes...I do not think either he would be better with another woman..I am a 47 year old woman who does just does not feel like it..Not that I do not want sex or do not still want to be held and kissed I just simply do not always feel like it and I have gained much weight with this DD and my movement are not graceful anymore..so do not always feel very sexy..I feel guilty for that and feel my husband deserves better, but bless his heart..he never says a word and makes the most of the way things are and we both pray things will improve one day. Any way I guess I tell you this because I feel like you are in it for better or worse..so grow up big boy!!!

    Sorry long winded..I think I might of just done some therapy on my self..

    Thoughts are with you
  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i guess you are at peace w/you decision...

    for the sex thing...i was wanting it more and more...even though i have always hurt...i always had a brief moment of feeling good....

    now it has been 7 months..this is the longest in my life time w/o sex...since i was intimate w/my first....

    now i just don't know if i want to deal w/anymore men and taking care of them...i want someone to enjoy doing things w/me...etc..

    talk to yur doctor and get some marital cousneling...

    divorce is not always better...

    jodie