Sorry I keep disappearing

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, Oct 25, 2006.

  1. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Hi guys. I am sorry for not checking in that much. Things just haven't been good.

    I've had zero income for about a month now. I've applied for food stamps and medical coverage from the State. I was told that my SSDI claim looks good, but I don't trust anyone or anything any more.

    When I say things can go from bad to worse, I mean it. I have no money coming in, and someone poisoned my dog Jake. So, I did the only thing I could think of... Pay someone to keep him alive. Trust me, it is not fun to wake up and have your dog peeing just bright red blood. I knew we were in trouble then. That cost me about $2,000. That was a lot of important bills, but at least Jake is o.k.

    I have no idea how this happened. He doesn't leave the yard... I have fencing. The emergency vet hospital is so expensive, but they saved my boy, but I doubt I'll be able to keep a roof over our heads.

    Worst of all, I feel guilty about feeling guilty. I'm so glad I didn't lose my Jake, he's only 3 years old. And that was a lot of money, but I'm happy I've got my boy.

    Other than that I'm depressed, hurt, and struggling. Basically, I'm like everyone else.

    I'll try to keep up, but I'm so overwhelmed lately.

  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    and i know how easy it is for someone to poison your animal, even though you had him fenced in your own yard.

    people are cruel at times.

    hang in there

  3. ladykew

    ladykew New Member

    I'm fairly new to posting...I lurked a very long time, way to sick with CFS flare to type, but I'm better now, and I read and post almost every night.

    I'm so sorry your precious Jake was poisened, but so very glad your vet was able to save him. I'm a dog lover and always have been...I just fall in love with my pets. I was never able to have children, and my pets were my children.

    I pray that you get your SSDI claim real soon and that you will find the means you need to live on until that comes through. Have you received your food stamps? How about medical coverage? If you need aid until those things come through, is there a church you can ask for assistance that could help you out for a short while?

    May God bless you and help you with your pain and depression. Please know that there are people who love you and care for you. I for one will look for your posts and be as much support to you as I can be.

    God's peace to you,
  4. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I have been missing you. Sorry for all you are going through. Keep us posted, it helps to vent a little and "talk" anout it.

    We also get a reminder to keep you, and Jake, in our prayers.

    Gentle Hugs and Blessings..........Susan
  5. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I don't understand why anyone would want to hurt Jake. He never leaves the yard unless he's with me in the car or on a leash.

    Besides the $2,000 to save him, I'm so sick that someone would want to hurt him. My neighbors have a dog that roams and a cat (my cats are indoor) and they weren't hurt at all. I keep track of my yard and now I worry even more to worry about. When they told me it was rat poinson I wanted to throw up. When they told me how close we were to losing him, I almost did throw up.

    Just the last thing I needed. If I catch the SOB, he or she will be the sorriest person on this earth. No one messes with my animals... they to me what children are to others.

    I get sick thinking about it... both because I almost lost him and the fact that it was poison, but to think someone would want to do that. I just don't understand and have no compassion for.

    Thank you.
  6. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I'm so glad you think of me in your prayers. We sure could use them lately. Just when I think it couldn't get worse, it does. It amazes me and everyone that knows me. You guys just hear the "big" stuff.

    My brother is there for me "hit or miss", but my furbabies are there every day and night. Jake really takes the brunt of it all. Eddy doesn't have the brain to do it... he's a little slow from being with a horrible breeder. Jake is highly intuitive and has saved my live and my breath. When I have a panic attack Jake gets right on my trying to get me to relax and he tries to put his chest on mine. When he feels my heart rate has gone down enough to satisfy him, then he'll get down. I know we all love our pets, but this one amazes me all the time. I feel like I'm living with another human sometimes.

    If he had died (and it's hard to even write that), I think it would have been the last straw for me. It's bad enough that someone made me use money that I had to pay bills to save my best friends's life.

    Is there no end to this insanity?
  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    So glad to have you back!

    Say 'hello' to Jake for me.....

  8. Lendy5

    Lendy5 New Member

    Hi Tigger - Please don't apologize. Sometimes we have to do things we gotta do and we all understand that.

    I am so sorry that someone poisoned Jake. I just don't understand why someone can be so cruel to animals. It breaks my heart.

    For the past few weeks some of our cats and dogs are dying off and we couldn't figure it out at first but since it keeps happening we think it's our neighbor. What do we do and how could we prove this?

    We are struggling financially also and hubby was just laid off from his job last week and we don't know how we are going to get by.

    I'm so glad Jake is ok now, I would have done the same thing.

    Love & Hugs!
  9. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member

    How much more can you possibly take???

    I am so glad you did all you could for Jake...You and I have always been on the same wavelength where our boys are concerned...

    I think about you often and know things are even rougher now than they were before, but with Jake and Eddy to plug along for, you WILL perservere...YES, YOU WILL!!!

    Tig, sometimes the person that you least suspect to harm your boys will be the first one to look at...I have suffered with miserable neighbors since I moved into this house...I called them as soon as we moved in and had a chat with them about my boys, how if they ever annoyed them with barking (after all their labs) they should call me...It cost me $1700 for the fence we put up the day we moved in and even though it keeps them in, it did not keep them safe. Their dogs kept coming over here causing one of my boys to hit a fence post head on and begin seizing (my Moose had epilepsy but he didn't need this) and my oldest was injured and almost lost his foot due to these people...They are bible thumpers and they look so damn innocent BUT as human beings they SUCK big time...

    Be on your guard and careful of the neighbors that smile so big and seem to care so much...

    I am glad that Jake made it through, with your love, how could it have been any other way...You spared no expense and got him well again...This time things will change for the better, I just know it...

    Everything will be fine, It's just got to be!!!

    Peaceful days ahead~Alicia
  10. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I hope you find out who did that to your Jake. That makes me soooooo mad.
    Lots of prayers for you and Jake
  11. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about your pets. I'm so fed up with nasty people and what happened, I have a very short trigger these days. It doesn't take much to set me off.

    I can't believe that people can be so mean and cruel.

    I hope your husband is able to get back to work. I know all to well how it feels to not know if you are going to keep a roof over your head. It is very, very scary.

    I really am sorry about all you are going through. It seems like lately it's always one thing afte the other.
  12. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I know that we are on the same wavelength when it comes to the furry ones. They have been more therapy for me than any doctor I have ever seen.

    I had to see the SSDI shrink today and I was blatenly honest with her. She asked me if I ever thought about suicide... I told her yes, but that was last year and what stopped me is that I didn't know what would happen to my "babies". So many people don't understand how the love of a "wet nuzzle" can do for you.

    I will keep an eye on my neighbors, and I have mixed feelings on if I find a guilty party or not. To be honest, I'm not sure what I would to such a person.

    I didn't even think about the cost... until I couldn't pay the mortgage. It has not been easy at all, and some days I can't handle it at all and I hide under the blankets. I figure at least that's not harming anyone.

    It is totally amazing how my babies know when I'm having an "off" day. They don't want to go out, they just stay close to me. Jake (my hero), takes care of me when I have a panic attack. If I'm in bed (does anyone else wake up from a sound sleep with a panic attack?) and I have a panic attack, Jake gets up on the bed, puts his head on my shoulder, his chest over my chest, and the rest of him just stretches out beside me. He stays until I'm feeling better. I'm sure that just him being there helps the attack to go away. I think he puts his chest over mine is because he can feel my heartbeat, because once I calm down, he gets off the bed and just keeps an eye on me.

    I'm always amazed how much smarter they are than we are.
  13. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Thanks to everyone who really understands how much my Jake, Eddy, Midnight and KoKo mean to me.

    Sadly, I'm afraid that Midnight won't be with us for a very long time. She is just fading away. She's 13 and lost a lot of weight, but it's just like the old age is doing it to her.

    Taking her to the vet would only be too much trauma for her, so I make sure she has good food, a clean litter box, and a warm place to sleep. I won't try to keep her going because I'm selfish and want to give her meds or treatments that aren't really that good for her and will only give her a few more months. I rescued her from the pound and guaranteed her that she would have a good life... and she has. As sad as it is, that is the circle of life.

    Thank you so much guys!
  14. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry times are so tough. I hope your claims go through. I'll say a prayer for you.

    I'm glad Jake is know I have a fence too...and someone thru a sponge soaked in antifreeze over it. thank God I got to it first before the dogs. So watch your fence carefully...there are some nasty people out there.

    God bless,
  15. jenni4736

    jenni4736 New Member

    I missed you girl. I was wondering about you the other day. I am so sorry things have been so rough for you and Jake. I hate to hear things are that bad.

    Did you by chance talk to the vets office? Sometimes they will make special arrangements if you explain how bad things are? Also, sometimes the churches here, even ones you don't attend, will help with utilities, rent and things like that. Check with social services in your area they might be able to give you some direction that could help temporarily until you get your feet back on the ground.

    I can't imagine the stress you are going through right now. That has to be taking a toll on your body. I am so sorry it has been that rough.

    We are here for you and you know you can lean on us all for support. We love you Tig. and we have really missed you. Keep your head held high, no matter what. You are strong, beautiful and kind and something good has to be coming your way. I will pray for you and for Jake and the rest of your fur babies.

    Hugs and prayer, Texas

  16. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    .I hope you get the Disability soon and your life gets a mite easier.Linda
  17. kriket

    kriket New Member

    Thanks for letting us know how you are. It is hard to keep up especially when you don't feel good. Finances can be a huge downer and don't feel bad about not posting as much. You have a lot more to worry about right now. Hope you get to feeling better.

  18. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Thank you for your kind words. Like you, I never had children either and since the only family I have is my brother... I tend to rely on my pets a lot.

    The fuzzy ones are there no matter what and without question. I really wouldn't be here today if it hadn't been for them.
  19. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    You guys seem to be like we are related in the way most of us think.

    Jake's still doing o.k. (Thank you for the prayers) I'm having a real rough time. I've got a shut off notice for the water. I called them and he gave me an extension, but that is only until next week... and I have no money coming in. I can't even get my meds.

    MommaDove asked the guestion... "How much more... ?" It gets worse. My brother has to go into the hospital on Monday for an angioplasty. He had a double by-pass in January 2003. I know he's worried, and he worries about me. Our parents died early... both at 64. Mom was complications with diabetes and my Dad had a heart attack.

    I find that the days when I stay in bed are actually the best ones... at least I don't have to think about any part of my life.
  20. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    It is always good to hear from you.

    Thank goodness, the vet could save Jake, what a wonderful spirit he has.

    Wishing you better luck.

    Love, June

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