Spouses with our symptoms?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pearls, Jan 12, 2003.

  1. pearls

    pearls New Member

    My husband has been suffering with many of the same symptoms that I've been contending with these past two years with fibromyalgia. Yes, my symptoms are worse, but I'm increasingly amazed saddened at how many of these symptoms he now has. He's always been a real go-getter. I hope he has not developed FMS. My theory is he is not getting enough sleep, which I've read can bring on some of our fibromyalgia symptoms rather fast. I am a terrible sleeper, with pain that keeps me awake and sleep apnea, newly diagnosed and untreated as yet. I'm sure I wake him repeatedly during the night.

    How many of you notice a drop in your spouse's health, with fibromyalgia symptoms chief among their complaints?
  2. annee

    annee New Member

    Pearls,
    My husband has had cfs for near 5 years now (2nd time around).
    I too display many of the symptoms.
    I continue to work full time, but more and more feel unwell and fatigued on a daily basis.
    I have periods of muscle aches which keeps me awake through the night for weeks on end.
    We limp along together.
    I am on mag and malic and vitamin therapy.
    It does seem that loss of sleep and 'running' through life has brought on these symptoms.
    I dare not think that we could 'both' have cfs (or fibro).
    I have decided to remain undiagnosed 'for the present', as it would be too depressing to know we both had these dd's.
    Just taking each day at a time.
    And having total understanding of what each of us is going through helps us cope and be there for each other.
    annee
  3. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    It could be his lack of deep sleep. You should look into that one.

    My husband sleeps like the 'dead', but I used to wake him often before I started to sleep so well now.

    He does not have my symptoms at all, and we have been married for 30 years, 20 of which I had been formally diagnosed with the Fibro.

    Have him check for his sleeping problems, he may not be getting into a deep sleep.

    My husband is a workaholic, and when he was working two jobs, I used to sleep in another room so as not to keep disturbing him with my all night turning lights on and off, getting out of the bed, reading, turning on the tv, etc!

    He said I didn't disturb him, but I just simply felt guilty that I was doing it without him even realizing that he was getting restless durning the night.

    Hope its something simple and not Fibro!

    Shalom, Shirl
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    With vets who suffer from Gulf War Illness. They, as well as people with FMS and CFS, test at a high level for chronic mycoplasma infections. I believe that when the infection is active, it can be passed along to other family members and later, our illnesses can be triggered in them from stress, trauma, illness, etc. Even family pets have shown symptoms of people with GWI, FMS, and CFS.

    Love, Mikie
  5. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    My husband has MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Diagnosed with it around 10 yrs ago or so, in his 20's. I never really understood what he went through, of course I was compassionat about it all. He is doing better these days with it, its gone into remission. He takes Avonex weekly injections. I get onto him about it when he misses the injections, like if there was something like that to put me into remission--like a once a week injection, I would be on it.


    Took some time for both of us to adapt to us both sick, ill, and cannot work. He is home, been home since last June, a injury at work. It also brought his MS out of remission for a time. Then its a fight with Workers Comp about if the accident at work caused the flare up.

    We lost our house, bankrupt, filed chapter 7. We are moving soon, but I found a nice countryish place to rent. sometimes it takes such hard times like this, to get to the good of things, to reconnect again.

    I am going on and on.. LOL. Later

  6. cioc1212

    cioc1212 New Member

    Do NOT either one of you just write his symptoms off as "just FM/CFS". He should have a full round of testing and soon. He might have anything and it's important that he sees a doctor. My husband had Hepatitis C and his symptoms were amazingly similar to mine but without the chronic pain. He went through a year of tough treatment and is all better now, virus free. There are so many illnesses that mimic FM/CFS that it takes a GOOD doctor to weed them out. It could very well be simple depression if he's having trouble coping with your illness or taking on more responsiblity.

    He needs to be tested for ALLGERIES, Lyme, Lupus, Thyroid(does this affect men?),Diabetes Hepatitis,full bloodwork. For starters. Gotta rule everything else out first. Then you get stuck with "Oh...you must have Fibromyalgia because we can't find anything WRONG with you". Sheesh, but I'm not angry or anything.....

    Rachael
  7. way2go

    way2go New Member

    Peal, When I first met my spouse. He did not have any symptoms. Now that we have been together for 4 plus years, in the last 2 he has been having more and more pain in the same areas as i do. Could it be passed through sex?
    way2go
  8. John29414

    John29414 New Member

    I am 48, had MS for 5 years, started out SP/MS, was a Hospital Director. Wife of 16 years left after the first year or so of being ill and had affairs with people I knew. When she came to me she has 3 paper bags of used clothes and her daughter. I gave her her education, adopted her daughter, put the daughter through school and college also, even hired her and my daughter at my Hospital. Her leaving was far worst than the MS. Stay with your husband please, "for better or worst for sickness and in health". Money and items are meer toys, love should be forever. I gave up everything to help us, but would live in a shack to be happy again.

    GOD Bless;
    John
  9. bejo

    bejo New Member

    My husband doen't have any fibro symptoms.As you said maybe your husband isn't getting enough sleep.If he continues having these symptoms he should go to his Dr.for a check up.They might be caused by something else.
    bejo
  10. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    This is a concern I have not mentioned on the board at all. I guess a case of giving life to something via words, I dunno---

    I have CFS and FM, during the last 3 months my 12 year old daughter has been exhibiting some weird symptoms. I can awake her after she has slept 12 hours, and invariably after I ask her how she feels today, she always says, "I am tired". Mind you this is a very active, independent kid, the last of 4 children, who has never complained one iota about anything. I have to drag information out of her,as she knows I don't feel well, and does not want to complain. She tells me about sharp pains going thru her head--with a sudden onset, and just as sudden end. She has been using tylenol for headaches, and I have been noting lately she is taking quite a few, as I am replenishing bottles. She is having stomach pains, also. Some which she describes as cramping, and others as the muscles are sore over her stomach. She has also mentioned pains in her feet, and arms. Also upon arising from a chair she has a dizziness, and has even told me she sees black sometimes ( I am thinking posterial orthstatic hypotension sp?) The last three times she has spent the nite at a friends she has come home between 2-3 in the morning. (mind you she is not an afraid to be away from home, kinda kid--she is always saddened that she must leave, but feels so bad she must). The last episode, on a sleep over, she began shaking uncontrollably, with chills, but had no temp., and was nauseated--no signs of virus or infection. The young lady she was spending the nite with could not even stay in bed with her, because of the severe rattling. Finally after a few hours of this--she phoned home. She has gotten, I kid you not, no less than 10 viruses, this winter, from my grandkids. My daughter homeschools, however my grandkids are in public schools. Between the 4 grandkids they have brought every germ known to man, home. My daughter hasn't missed catching one. I believe her immune system is not up to par. She has been dx'ed with TMJ, and the orthodontist assured us, that after his work was complete, it would put and end to that----it has not.
    Sorry to have gone on, so. This is something I have been keeping inside for quite sometime, and it is nice to let it all out. I am so concerned that my healthy daughter is going to have to face these disorders---I would rather throw myself in front of a train. To think that I could be the possible cause of this---is just overwhelming.
    I will be taking her to see my FM/CFS Doc---to see whats going on. Thank you for listening, I needed to get this off my chest. I have mentioned it to my husband, but as you can imagine, it is overwhelming living with one of us, let alone thinking of two.
    God Bless,
    LL
    [This Message was Edited on 04/07/2003]
  11. truthseeker67

    truthseeker67 New Member

    I recently read of a couple here on this board who had some sort of shots before going on a trip abroad and they both have been ill ever since. I don't know if something like this would apply to you and your spouse? It was a recent post here, I believe under something like "immunizations". Check the last few days of posts.

    Also, I know my DH and I relocated and it caused a great deal of stress, then he was laid off, and so on. Anyhow my FM got out of control and my DH started having some of my symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Are you and your husband going through a stressful time? If so, like you theorized he may not be sleeping soundly or the stress may be bringing on fatigue ect.

    I agree with the others that you both should be tested and checked over thoroughly. You may think it is one thing when actually it is something totally different. You both won't see progress unless you truly know what you are dealing with, right?

    Hope this may help in some way! Take care and keep us posted!

    Peace, strength, comfort, and hope,
    Truthseeker
  12. spazmonkey

    spazmonkey New Member

    I was wondering the same thing...

    We have been together for 5 years. I started showing symptoms about the same time we started dating. We were best friends for two years before that.

    He has crazy allergies, tired all the time, aches and pains. Can't sleep very well. The thing that makes this interesting though is that he has the herpes virus. I've heard that there is a connection between the herpes virus and chronic fatigue. We've always been careful and have been told numerous times that i dont have the herpes virus. but i've never gotten the blood test done. we've been together for sol long that its highly likely i have the virus as well...interesting
  13. pearls

    pearls New Member

    Thanks, all, for your responses.

    John, don't worry. I'm not thinking of leaving my husband. I'm just worried about him. I'm so sorry about your wife leaving you. The worst possible outcome of these terrible diseases is when a beloved spouse decides he or she cannot abide our illnesses. It makes me sad each and every time I read about that happening.

    Those of you who say my husband needs a complete workup, thank you, but you don't know my husband. A complete workup is never going to be one of HIS choices unless he is at death's door. There's no way he'll have medical work done if it is MY idea. Husbands!

    Thanks again,
    Pearl