Starr is back!!! Very long and venting!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by EgyptStarr, Nov 7, 2005.

  1. EgyptStarr

    EgyptStarr New Member

    Hi, All!

    Yep, I've been away for a LOOOOONG time, but I'm back! I just lost my best friend of nearly 20 years, and need to make some new friends now! No, she didn't die; we just had the worst argument we've ever had and we won't be reconciling. She moved away a few years ago, then just moved back last year. Her entire personality had changed so much.....

    Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to go on about that. As we get further and further into Autumn, my neck, shoulder, back pain and headaches get worse and worse. For those that don't know or remember me, CFS was always most prevalent in me, but I have FM as well. Provigil has helped with the fatigue, though, so now the pain of FM is my biggest problem. Dr. has me on new meds for it, but they're not working. I was diagnosed in February with eczema by a dermatologist, and now I also have Psoriasis. I am on an antidepressant (Wellbutrin), and Baclofen, a muscle relaxer for two huge knots in my neck that my PCP thinks are just knots in my neck muscles. It's been at least 2 weeks, though, and the knots are still there. In fact, one of them is getting bigger!

    My 13-yr-old son, who has lived with his father in Wisconsin since he was 5 1/2, will be coming back to Oklahoma to STAY!!! The decision for him to live with his father was a decision that his father and I made mutually when we got divorced. Anyway, for the past 3 or 4 weeks, I've been a wreck! I received a phone call from a social worker in Wisconsin telling me that my son is in foster care due to ABUSE! His father had given him a spanking with a belt so severe that it left bruises on his backside, and his stepmother hit him with the back of an office chair (the back of the chair was broken off the rest of it or something). She hit him so hard that she left a goose-egg sized knot on his head near his temple, and when she swung it, he had thrown his hand up to block, and a bone in his hand was broken from the blow! If he hadn't thrown his hand up there to block it, she could have killed him! Needless to say, I've been kind of in shock ever since I found out..... if I had ever thought for one second that anything like this was even POSSIBLE..... if I could ever have guessed that his father or *seemingly* wonderful stepmom were capable of such things...... naturally I would have cut off my arm before I let my son go live there! I feel so responsible, like I should have sensed that this could happen or something...... I don't know. Well, anyway, he'll be coming back HOME now. Unfortunately, because of the LONG process of court trials, hearings, etc., the social worker said that having him here even by Christmas is "highly unlikely". My ex and his wife are up for criminal charges, of course, and my son needs to be there for the hearings and/or trials.

    Anyway, I'll shut up now. I feel like I've been typing forever! I didn't mean for this to be SO long; I guess I just needed to vent! Obviously, I've had a LOT on my plate lately, and trouble dealing with it all. I would LOVE to hear back from you all, though!!!

    Hugs!
    Starr
  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    tht went through the same thing, minus the stepmohter in his life abusing him. his father did a real number on him put him in the hospital and broke is face around the eye.

    since they were divorced and the he lived in north carolina and his mother was living in california. they had to put him in foster care and make sure he was getting counseling. they could not put him on a plane back to his mother who is very straight laced. never been in trouble with the law or anything...

    but from what i understand they had to make sure the child who was your son's age was getting counseling and would be going to a safe environment...

    he is going to be 17 years old and he is living w/his mother and a great step-dad. he is doing ok, but he still must get counseling and the his parents as well family therapy. the caseworkers in north carolina stay in touch s/his school and therapists on a regular basis.

    as far as hi medical insurance it is covered by the state.
    so please don't worry about that.

    but do not be surprised if you here about more abuse than that...be prepared for the worse...hopefully there hasn't been anymore abuse, but i feel it is unlikely...

    you will pull through this and it will not be a walk in the park. but you are his mother and you will have the strength to go on and be there for him. the couselors will give the direction you need and will be there for you both...

    my friend did the same thing and let her son make his own choice to be with his dad..she didn't think anything would ever happen to her son, and he did not let on there was anything else was going on...he did what he had to survive at the time...

    his father bought his affection so his dad did not have to pay child support and his mother knew her ex was very good about hiding money. he was and is a contractor. so cash under the table...and he would put and still is putting his homes,vecihles, harley davidson's in other peoples names...rumor has is that he is even using his own son's social security number to get some of this...he even stole money out of his own dying father's account that was supposed to go to his grandchildren. they had the same first and last names... basically the man is good at lying and stealing...but not a father for sure....


    sorry to hear about this, i too was an abused child, so i know what it is like to hide everything from everyone. you learn how to play the game...

    so do not feel too guilty for not being there...you were miles apart...you had no way of knowing unless your little man told you... and i'm sure he was afraid to because it is scary to do something not knowing the unknown. he may have had verbal threats that were being used against him...

    you are going to have a lot of work on your hands but you will get throught one day at a time!

    wish you the best and thinking of you

    jodie
  3. Sue50

    Sue50 New Member

    Starr that you are going through such a horrible ordeal, and your poor little guy, what a trauma that must have been for him. Big hugs to both of you
  4. starla06

    starla06 New Member

    Starr I am so sorry for your pain. It can not be easy but you must not blame yourself. You had no idea. I see you too are from Okla. Well when you get your son home be sure & get him some help in dealing with all this.

    As for your friend, i am sorry you had a blow up. Friends are hard to come by for us. I only hope that she some day realizes her error. They always do when they need that special friend.

    I will keep you in my prayers. I know it is hard but try & not let this elivate your pain too much. I know easier said than done.

    Lea Ann
  5. beth0818

    beth0818 New Member

    all i will say is that you are in my prayers. i can not even begin to try and understand how you must feel.
  6. rigby

    rigby New Member

    Don't feel bad be thankful you will have your baby back and with love and guidance you two will make it. My prayers for you. Sharon
  7. diva2mi

    diva2mi New Member

    I am so sorry that you are going through all of this pain - physical, mental and emotional. It must be very draining. I lost my best friend in the same manner... doesn't seem we will ever talk again either. You will will in my thoughts and prayers.
  8. EgyptStarr

    EgyptStarr New Member

    Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement! It's very uplifting, seriously! I was typing all of that for so long last night that I forgot to mention something: Within a couple of days of originally hearing about what happened, then over the next few days continuing to hear more and more horrible details, I found myself basically incapacitated for 2 days on the couch. I was in so much pain from all the stress that I literally could barely turn my head. Thank God for my wonderful fiance'! If it hadn't been for him being here to take care of our 3-year-old daughter while I was "down", I really don't know how I could have managed it! I was so lucky that he just "happened" to be off work those 2 days! Somebody upstairs likes me! haha

    Anyway, thanks again to all of you who responded! The main reason I came back to the boards after being gone for so many months is because I knew I can always count on y'all for support and encouragement! You guys are the best!

    Hugs!
    Starr