Starting bad CFS fog/flare again...how to handle it?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CinCA, Feb 26, 2006.

  1. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Esp. now that I am in a new place with honestly zero family or friends around. I feel so bad complaining when so many people on this site are dealing with such larger problems. But I have a 4 y.o. I need to take care of in large part myself, and I worry when I get like this that I can't give her what she needs. It's all I can do to remember to get her to school and pick her up.

    The brain fog is the worst, esp. as it had really diminshed in the past couple months and I thought I had it covered. It is so scary to be alone and have these periods of disorientation, forgetfulness, you all know the drill. It doesn't help my husband was gone all last week on business, leaves again a week from Mon., and then my mom is coming, and she herself doesn't handle stress well and knows nothing about the CFS (nor will she...it would not be a good situation and she would not understand).

    My husband also has been getting on me since he got home about my being distant, not giving him enough attention, not valuing him, etc. This is true...I still have a lot of resentment about this move, being that I really was forced to do so, and I have serious reservations about finding a new place to live that is the "equal to or better" that we agreed was necessary for us when he took this new job. Even where we live, the climate is surprisingly so much drier (despite being just 2 hours away and 15 mins. from the coast), and I'm having a lot of problems with my skin being so dry and my allergies really flaring up from who knows what. I also am just so overstimulated from everything that my body is just starting to shut down. I can't sleep well, there are days I barely eat and days when I am constantly hungry, but nothing tastes good or is satisfying. And now there's the worry about this big rainstorm coming, mainly that our home on the market will be okay (it's on a steep hillside). Hubby won't even talk about the housing stuff and just starts in again on how negative I always am. And this DD has gotten me so reclusive I am extremely uncomfortable going out around people and meeting new friends...my social skills are shot, and I blab way too much and/or just don't know what to say. It all just adds to the overload, which adds to the short-circuiting in my mental processing.

    I actually was doing pretty well, and then I started to slide with hubby going out of town last week, and that whole feeling has gotten worse if anything since he got back. I get good flashes, and then the "down" times are even worse afterwards, like those good times deplete what little energy I can muster up.

    Does anyone know what causes the whole brain fog thing, and any way I can somehow mitigate stress so I can at least function? I have so much on my plate and so much responsibility for my daughter, as well as honestly absolutely zero help (and my doctor is literally 100 miles away). That's why I am concerned...it's not like I can afford any "down time" whatsoever the way my life is.

    Thanks so much, and sorry to be complaining.
    C.
  2. Hope2Bwell

    Hope2Bwell New Member

    Dear Cinca,

    I can't say that I have any real good advice for you...just wanted to say that I understand. I have notes that we alternate from the drawer to hanging on the door and putting in bathroom upstairs. My daughter rides bus home from school, but on certain days, she must be PICKED up from school because of Kid's Club, student council, etc.. So, this is every Tue., WED., and once a month on Thurs. We put a note on back door, front door, and in bathroom which I use on days I get to sleep all day.


    I set two alarms on days I am sleeping. But, if I get dressed to pick her up and have a few minutes to spare, I have made a "quick" phone call, gone to this web site, etc.. Only to experience that "brain fog" and forget what I was doing and supposed to be doing and then have to "RACE" out the door and into town to get her in time.

    I just hate this. I feel really "stupid" alot of the time and I just keep thinking I'm going to really be bad when I get older!!


    I had a "SO CALLED" friend who kicked me out of her car in the city of ST. Louis, MO. because I questioned her/repeated myself like three times. SHE told me to "GET OUT" and I was NOT going to stay in that vehicle with HER at this point. Well, stupid me, I jumped out without my purse, no Quarter to make a phone call.


    So, when my other friend made her come back for me, I HAD to get in , but , boy I didn't want TO!!!! Doing that to a "Country GAl" was a bit of a scary feeling for me. Needless to say, we aren't friends any more. But, you know what, I was HEALTHY then.........IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE ME THEN , she sure wouldn't like me NOW(with all this BRAIN FOG)!!

    Anyway, I'M sorry things are so difficult for you right now. It must be REALLY hard to be somewhere without family and friends close by. Taking care of a four year-old is a BIG JOB when you are healthy, but having CFS, it can feel overwhelming at times. This makes it all that much worse. Just the stress and worry you have knowing your husband is going to be gone again and so soon TAKES A LOT out of you.

    Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you......I hope you feel better, QUICKLY! The only advice I have, when you are having a bad moment.....THINK OF THAT AWESOME VIEW and LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN you are going to have when you retire!! GORGEOUS!!!!

    Take Care,
    Angie
  3. karinaxx

    karinaxx New Member

    i think all of us reading about your situation are so helpless in answering to you, it realy is just to hard.
    what can i say, but try to enlist help by contacting suportgroups in the area. do you take something for sleeping? my brainfog gets out of hand if i dont get enough sleep. Magnesium really helps me.Aspirin for sleeping and just try to pamper yourself as much as you can. good movie, hot bubble bath, just trying to shut of.
    moving is extremly hard if you have cfids on body and mind,especially with a four year old!!! Did it several times with my son last year.
    one step at a time, not trying to make it all perfect, you cant.
    hug to your little one and heads up.
  4. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    I so very much appreciate everyone's help on this board! I just wish I lived closer to you all, so I could give each one of you a big, huge hug of appreciation!

    Well, today I got my daughter to school EARLY! Maybe 1-2 minutes early, but early nonetheless! AND this was with a light rain falling, which basically throws all standard traffic times out the window where we live, in southern California (many people just FREAK when it's not 70 and sunny out here :) ). Traffic was actually okay...I think most people got scared from the doom and gloom forecasts and left for work early...and we even are enjoying a break from the rain right now.

    Have to digress with a funny story. Please allow me this. My daughter got up early, as usual, this morning and proceded to pad into my room a little before 7 to wake me up (hubby goes to work at some God awful time before the sun comes up, always). She sat patiently by the bed before announcing it was seven-zero-zero, and it was time for me to get up! She then proudly told me that seven-zero-zero makes seven hundred...she's been working on her numbers at school! Well, we went downstairs to make her breakfast, and she noticed it had just started to rain...just a couple drops. Despite being a native Californian, my daughter is still young, naive, and loves the rain! She started singing the "Rain, rain, go away...come again another day" song while eating her oatmeal, and each time she looked, the rain stopped. Then she'd get distracted and it would start raining a little, and then she would sing and voila! it would stop! The look of amazement and wonder on her face was just priceless, although she got distracted again after breakfast and it was raining pretty good by the time we left for school. But it was so cute watching her so mesmerized! Even in the car, she was commenting about the "rain wormies" on the window (when the drops travel from the wind/airflow while driving).

    I felt really half-asleep after that, but managed to go to Borders and finally pick up a map of our local area. I had a feeling I may need it later, if it is pouring as they forecast and there's a wreck on the 101 and I need to find an alternate route. I am a visual person, and while hubby got me a very nice navigation unit for Christmas (for the move), sometimes nothing beats a good map that I can lay out before me. The nav. unit always seems to get stuck "thinking" when I am really trying to get somewhere, anyways. So hopefully the new map purchase will help me get some sense of organization. It really throws me because the local freeway runs east-west but still parallels the coastline, like my old north-south freeway (the 5) did where we used to live. So even though I normally am very good with directions, everything is on a different plane here and I still am all turned around. The winds, topography and general weather patterns are different, too, which just add to the general confusion. But it's only 2 hours away (no traffic), which isn't that far, so I think that's why I am having such a hard time, because in the back of my mind I keep thinking it just shouldn't be that different since I am not all that far away. Who knows. Throw in the CFS, and it's amazing I can get past my driveway (which by the way IS the fastest part of my commute...I found that so funny in the "relocating" thread the other day).

    We'll see how the brain fog does today. At least I don't have a whole lot to do, although I am afraid if I lie down for a nap I'll sleep through and then be up all night. Think I'll jump in the shower and try to get through 1 or 2 more boxes before it's time to pick up my daughter. We got all the essential stuff unpacked awhile ago, but the leftovers (like my china cabinet/holiday stuff, etc.) still creates clutter that just adds to the confusion. Maybe I'm OCD, or maybe it's just the CFS and general predisposition to sensory overload at the moment, but I do soooo much better when stuff is orderly and everything is in its place.

    Thanks again, and sorry I'm rambling this morning. But I thought my daughter's little "rain dance" (or rather song) was very cute this morning and wanted to share. Thanks for indulging me!

    C.