I finally got up the courage to call my Employee Assistance Program where I work and made an appointment with a therapist. Where I work, we are allowed,as employees, to have 10 free visits per year with a confidential therapist, that' the good part. I was able to choose a male or female. I chose a male this time. I am female. Absolutely nothing against female therapists, but I have seen two female therapists back in the early 2000's at two different times, and I just wanted to switch genders this time. You never know who you are going to "click" with, it's always a gamble, which to me is the very scary part. I am very nervous about this. Both of my parents (dad has since died) are European and do not believe in talk therapy at all. Maybe it is their age, maybe their culture, but unfortunately, I may have developed the same feelings as them, so I am trying to get over that and become a little bit more open minded, but it is very difficult for me. I'm relieved I made the appointment, but so anxious at the same time. No one in my small family knows I am going, and I want to keep it that way. However, obviously, I do not mind brining up the subject on these boards (aren't you guys lucky!!!!) because I feel more comfortable initially talking about it with you guys. I seriously don't know where to start and the last time I went was so many years ago, I swear I blocked it out of my mind, or maybe it's fibrofog, but I know I did not click right with the last therapist I saw and vowed that I would never go again. This is the problem, I do not want to start off with a negative attitude which I am so prone to doing, but this is because well, frankly, there isn't much positive in my life. Why do I have this horrible feeling that when I start talking, this therapist may think I'm a basket case or something, can you believe this worries me, go figure So, anyhow, any advice would be so appreciated. I don't go for another week. Thank you all, Hugs, Chelz.