Starting to affect marriage

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Jittle, Oct 10, 2011.

  1. Jittle

    Jittle Member

    I was at my breaking point on Sunday. The pain is geting worse. And I am having new areas and kinds of pain.

    My husband finally admitted to being stressed out about me and my illness: About the pain, all the doc appointments, and the cost. He is worried about me, but I am worried about him: how much longer is he willing to put up with this. Bad enough he has his own health problems, and now I cannot get any better. Whats worse is I cannot find a doc to help. Tried two new ones in the past month: Both saying for pain, but when you go then all the sudden they tell you they don't treat FM/CFS, so why did they take the appointment and my money (one cost me $300 out of pocket).
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    As I've mentioned here before, I pray for all of us because our illnesses affect us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They also affect our finances and relationships.

    Prayers going up.
    Love, Mikie
  3. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    how difficult it can be to keep a marriage going when you both have health problems - some that make it so hard to function.

    My husband and I both have a lot of pain and exhaustion. He has never been formally diagnosed with FM but has all of the symptoms. He has terrible sleep apnea but we cannot afford $4,000 to $6,000 for a sleep study.

    I'm fortunate that he is very patient with me and doesn't get upset if something isn't done around the house or he has leftovers for dinner.

    I hope you find a good doctor that knows how to help. I have seen a physiatrist for about five years and he is good about trying many different modalities for pain. Give yourself credit for what you do accomplish.

    PITATOO Member

    If you are married and live long enough some illness will impact the marriage. I think now days people give up at marriage too easy, not saying it is that way in your case, just in general. There are several events in life that are major, a death, loss of job , sickness, financial problems, etc. With FMS/CFIDS it is almost all that impacts us, death(the person we used to be), some lose their jobs because of this, financial issues.... I must say it ended my marriage, which was 10 years ago, but she was unwilling to seek counseling and trying to understand my FMS/CFIDS. I must also say that the marriage made my health problems worse if not bringing them to a head.

    But if you have a strong marriage to begin with I am sure it will survive. He must understand with his own health issues. You both need each other. It is tough with this DD doing it all on your own, real tough. I have managed to keep working, but it's been a real struggle. And the money I spend , Dr's, meds, supplements, chiro, massage all adds up quick, but I think it keeps me working, but i think the problem with my marriage is that I was only really able to work, which I thought was a big feat. but that was about all, now days sometimes I can do more than work, but do miss the companionship of a spouse, but over the past 10 years I have had a couple of chances to remarry but do not want to burden someone else and am very honest about it.

    I know we all understand, try to get your hubby involved as much as possible and also be involved in his health as much as possible. It is just another hurdle , maybe not to get over but work through it,

    I still see a therapist when I am in town, travel a lot with my business, but it really really helps. Also I think if you have someone else to talk to that is not your spouse you are give your spouse a break, sometimes just because you are talked out.

    At times this DD is worse than cancer, as there is no really end to it. So you must give your self credit, normally no-one else will. Try to find also a good support group. I ran a support group few years ago when I did not travel so much and found it very helpful.

    Hang in there.....