STD, LTD or quit

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by footballmom, Mar 31, 2007.

  1. footballmom

    footballmom New Member

    Hi everyone. Two weeks ago I mentioned that I made my move and I was going to go out on STD. Well that wasn't as easy as it sounded. I ended up taking off that first Monday.My boss called 3 times that day asking how to do stuff, Tuesday I went in for 4 hours to clean stuff up on my desk. Wednesday I was off. Boss called again asking how to do stuff. Guilted me into working Thursday and Friday. I crashed on the weekend. Slept more than I was awake. I forced myself to work the next Monday and ended up working 10 hrs that day. I was off Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday I finally got into see my Rhuemy. Let me tell you I was appaled at the way he talked to me. He told me I shouldn't be working however he doesn't think I would qualify for LTD because I'm under 50 years old. He said he would write a note for me to only work 4 hours a day. I said about going on STD and try to get myself better. He said that I can't keep taking "mini vacations" and then go back to work and end up feeling the way I do. He also said that if I don't do what he tells me he won't treat me anymore. I didn't know what to say. I sat there with my jaw hanging open and was speechless. They're not going to let me work part time. So I'm either going to have to work my full time job or quit. What gets me is STD is a benefit that I have from my employer. I pay for LTD. Why should I quit. Why can't he agree to STD which then turns into LTD if I don't go abck in 3 months. I think I have to find a new doctor, but I don't want to be accused of doctor shopping. Needless to say I went back to work on Thursday and Friday. I didn't talk to my manager about part time work because even if they would let me go part time, I'm not eligble for STD.

    HELP.....what should I do??
  2. dononagin

    dononagin New Member


    I can't give you any advice as I'm so close to where your at it's not even funny.

    I'm in the same boat that I just don't know how long I'll be able to keep working. And in my business there is no slowing down or doing less... it's all or nothing.

    Bumping up for advice.. Keep us posted with what happens because there are quite a few of us on the board that are really struggling with our jobs right now.

  3. bunnyfluff

    bunnyfluff Member

    I am currently out on FMLA. I totally crashed. I am not sure i can continue to do my high pressure, stressful, high energy job, as much as I love it, and love the income from it.

    My employer benefit is STD & LTD, both of which I qualify for. I have spoken w/ an attorney about her help in applying for this. However, I am not sure I can get a Dr to agree!! What crap! I should know better than anyone if I feel up to the *challenge* of this job, or if I need more time to heal, retrain, etc.

    I am not trying to sit back and look for a handout. This is a very difficult decision for me and my family!!

    If I were you, right now I would at least go out on FMLA. i just told my Dr I could not go back one more hour of one more day PERIOD!!! I just sat and bawled, and said 'you don't get it, I am so exhusted i could just drop on the ground. I can't do this one more day. I have got to have some time to get better." And I told him you can't make me go back. I got a 3 week leave, and in the meantime i found a better Dr who would run some more tests.

    I'm glad I did, b/c she found Lyme, which had gone undiagnosed, also.

    Hope this helps some.
  4. Ginner

    Ginner New Member

    may help thread:
    thank you - medicare

    I have fma, mps.
    Alittle history-

    2003- dislocated shoulder. H.R. filled out STD no questions asked, I received STD.for 3 mos. 60% pay.

    2006, fms "getting" me. Went to dr. right after a day of work, when I was fogged, confused, weirded out.. I had been trying to pull it together over the past 2 yrs, missing work frequently.
    I told the dr. I was maxxed out and that I have had words with people at work, seriously not in my character, over fragrances in office and other smuttty stupid stuff that never bothered me, that I was sick I couldn't go back to work, I was done, I needed rest. I was in tears now, she ordered me a FMLA from work......ok..then

    2 wks pass..NO money..Called H.R.- NO paperwork filled out by H.R. this time for STD . I asked them to send me the paperwork to fill out for STD. They did, I applied for STD all data accumulated myself.
    STD "denied."

    Took 3 mos FMLA, no income.
    I have someone in my life to fall back on, but I try not to.
    Back to work, miss more days, same song, same story...I get choices now;
    My choices from H.R.
    -Resign on good terms or miss 1 more day and be fired.
    I chose "Resign."

    To date -
    I have "appealed" my STD from employer - "I paid for STD/LTD."

    I have applied for SSDI / SSI.
    I have no money. I am paying for Cobra - double amount of insurance to cover rx's., I had to use my income tax return for that! I should be receiving 60% from my employer, I received STD when I dislocated my shoulder..hummm!

  5. jmq

    jmq New Member

    I know that is the last thing you want to do now. I am saying it because I am in the EXACT same situation at work. I took all those mini vacations and days off and my doctor laid down the law with me the same way. The only difference is that I did not have STD to pick from. I only have LTD from work and have to be out for 75 days in a row to even apply. As much as I hated what my doctor told me, he was right. I am finally on my first straight 6 weeks off ( first time in 29 years at the same job!) When I left my office in tears, I told them that I just HAD to get better and I would not be able to answer my phone and shut the work out of my life for 6 weeks.

    Well, I am into my 2nd week of leave and I am feeling so much less stress. I still get tempted to call in and see how they are doing...and I still a great deal of pain but less stress. I will take it. Having both was more than I could handle. ( I am a mom of a 12 year old too )

    Anyways, my point is, go back and explain to your rhuemy that the STD is a way to get to the LTD and for you eventually stop working and take better care of yourself. That sounds like what he/she really is trying to get you to do . I think he/she does not understand the disability process. If there is still no cooperation, you have to get a new doctor. I am lucky and have two doctors filling out paperwork for me already.

    I am just afraid when I tell my boss that I will have to take the LTD and eventually an early retirement..they will not cooperate with the forms because they think I am super woman. I hid my symptoms and MISTAKES for so long that they were actually gave me a bonus a few months ago!!!!! Even though I used all my time and was out 2-3 days a week! God Bless them.

    I know there are some people who REALLY need to work due to finances or they just LOVE the job..I fit in both catagories. day you will no longer have a will know when you HAVE to quit. No one can tell you will know it yourself.

    I hope I am making some sense, cognitive skills are fading every day. Good luck and keep us updated. Its so important for all of us to have each other on this board!
  6. ZosoLight

    ZosoLight New Member


    my husband went through what you are going through...

    it really is hard!! and aggravating... and more of a physical burnder at just the time you don't need it--but--- rest as much as you need and can... and then get a lawyer... you will need a lawyer for SSD (the lawyer will take a small percentage of your back pay for her/his work on your behalf if you win)

    also, get a LTD lawyer. the insurance co.'s just " jerk you around" without an attorney. the LTD lawyer will usually work for you for free if they think you have a good case. they will take a percentage of what you win.

    unfortunately, as the insurance companies give you a little respect with your disability case, they then give more grief to the people without the attorneys-- they're forced to pick on them because they have no attorney who knows how to stick up for their rights.

    best wishes,

  7. Ginner

    Ginner New Member

    Hi, I am a baseball mom. lol
    One thing, if you stay off and on std you can go directly to ltd. You will not have to do without pay. STD/LTD ins. pays 50% at least.
    I know, all this just happened to me. I was too timid too worried about how they ( company) felt about me. Let me tell you, the insurance won't pay up if you don't demand.
    Who diagnosed your fms, cfs?
    Find someone in your area who has gone to a good dr. for the dddddd.
    Ginner :)
  8. footballmom

    footballmom New Member

    Thanks to everyone for taking the time to respond. Along with trying to cope with my health, last week I was blessed with a grandson. He is the first joy that I've had in my life in a long time.

    I spoke with my manager last week. We went out to lunch. Of course I couldn't have this conversation without tears. What have I become. 5 years ago you couldn't have made me cry at work if you tried. Anyway, I laid everything on the table. Told her what my doctor said about not working and/or about cutting my hours. She was very understanding . She knows that I'm in pain. She sees it on my face everyday. We agreed that I could cut my hours temporarily and unofficially. My position is a full time position and she can't afford to bring another person in to cover my hours. I totally understand where she is coming from. If by the time I go back to see my doctor I feel as though I can't work full time (which I know I won't be able to do) I will go out on disability.

    I think the hardest part about all of this is making the decision. I don't want to admit that I'm disabled. I also don't know how to tell my kids that the money tree is being cut down and I can't do for them like they are accustomed to. My doctor says that I haven't given myself permission to feel better, what ever that is supposed to mean.

    That's it for now.....Happy Easter.

  9. Engel

    Engel New Member

    New baby and an understanding boss ... not bad :)

    Happy Easter to U2 hun (((((( hugs ))))))

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