My mom was adopted also. I already have someone to come in to help with Grandma 3 times a week for 4 hours at a time. That's as much time as her benefits will allow. Although I appreciate whatever help I can get, I could certainly still use more. She basically depends on me for almost everything...even things other family members could do...things like cutting her meat or fixing her plate at dinner or opening her window blinds. For some reason she wants me to do everything. Very early the other morning I was sleeping soundly after having 2 very difficult days and nights. I heard my grandmother calling me. I got up and staggered to her room only to be "told" to set her clock. Apparently the lights had gone out during the night and her clock was blinking. I could hardly see. I don't think I said one word. I just fixed the clock and staggered back to bed. We have suggested adult daycare but Grandma refuses. I really thought that would be good for her. She says she doesn't want to go. She is in a wheelchair and very unsteady when trying to stand so I don't think she could handle being in an assisted living facility. So that leaves me. The other day I asked my husband and daughter what would happen if I became so ill that I could not change her diaper. They made a joke of it and said they would take her to the nearest ER and have them change her. Of course they were joking but no telling what would really happen. Right now I am so miserable. The last few days have been very bad. I had a doctor's appointment today and another one tomorrow to see a new Rheumy. I know I have to begin thinking about whether I'm going back to work or not. It's a difficult decision. I know we need my salay. If only my last name was Hilton.