Still a lot nervous about seeing this disability doctor

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, May 12, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I don't usually mind seeing "MY DOCTORS" as I have known them for years, I know what they are going to say. I know that what I tell them will stay with them. And they listen to me when I share each pain and moan I have.

    But having to drive for 30 minutes, that is what my hubby tells me as he drives to the town I have to do to each day for work. But he has driven there for years and I don't drive any thing more than a drive of about 20 minutes.

    And now on a holiday weekend I have to drive this 30 minute drive and be there on time at 9 am { I got that appointment changed from 8 am to 9 am. Driving makes me so tired and when I go to stand and walk , my legs and knees don't work so hot. They have been stiffened up ,just as if some one has starched them and now they won't move. How fun for me.

    I don't have a CLUE as to whom this doctor is who what speciality he is or if he has one. I only know that he works weekends in the Brigham city hospital and I am to have a weight and hieght and orthopedic exam, CAn they skip the weight part it really has nothing to do with how I feel. For I have lost it before and still hurt like heck.
    But know I am not so thin as I wish I could be. And I am afraid of the Rude remarks he could make to me. I have told my own doctors that when I have that yearly exam the weight is not important for them to know. To know my weight all you have to do is OPEN your eye's and look at me and you will see a over weight lady standing in front of you. I know that I weigh far to much and I am working on eating better and trying to do some exercise's but eavy time I start a work out is sends me into a flare.

    I have a huge fear you see. I was working years ago and feel from a step and finally after much work it went to WC and I had to see "THEIR DOCTOR" he spent less them 10 minutes with me , yet he wrote a fifty page story all about me. He gave dates where I had gone to the ER for Narcotic pain meds. Some were true but they always had some thing missing like the real reason I was there in the first place. LIke I had fallen, or had been in a car accident. YEt the one that got me so angry was this one.
    This is the quote from his report.


    "this female overwieght patient was in the hospital for breakthru pain on 1/26/82. She was there asking for narcotic pain meds."

    Yes I was at the hospital, but not the ER but the delivery room. I was giving birth to my second daughter that day and she was born at 12 :05 am and yes I was in pain and I had a epidural too.

    So what does my being in the hospital while having my daughter make my stay have anything to do wtih breakthru pain? I still don't know. I called him and informed him that he had made a Gross mistake that I was having a baby on that date. But apparently he just skimmed over that part of my records. And I did not get a retraction about this.

    It made me so angry that he had down right lied about some thing that was written right in front of his face as he was reading my OB/ GYN's reports. And that date was in there saying that I had given birth to my second daughter who weighed 6 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. That I had a nromal dilevery.

    But I was given pain meds as my tail bone was causing me pain from being broken from the first daughter. And he always gave a new mother 30 tyoneyl #3 for the cramps after birth. NOt that it was really enough to do much but that was all you got.

    So it makes me wonder if he really did read all the reports
    & records that he had been sent or did he just go thru them and pick every one that said I had something narcotic in it, there was no reason given for the reason I was given pain meds but every entry he made had a note that I was in the ER, doctor;s office getting narcotic pain meds.

    So I am wondering if this doctor is going to be the same way. Is he really going to be honest about why I have pain and all the resons that are there. Is he going to make up reasons for my pain and make me look like i am faking it?

    All I want is a honest doctor who will do a honest exam , take some x-rays so show the knees that are bad and have arthritis in them, OR maybe a MRI for my back that will show that I have degeneritive disc disease, facet syndrome, buldging dics, L4- L5 ** L5 -S1, I need a x-ray of the left wrist to show him the damage I did when I shattered my wrist , as he will be able to see all the hardwear that I have in it to hold it together.

    Is he going to belive that I have CMP? or fibro? Will be believe in what I tell him about me and this never ending pain I have every day of my life. Or will he just blow me off like the last one did?

    I am not thrilled about having to stand on the scales as I weigh a bit too much just 50 or so lbs more tahn is good for me. All I need is to be told that I am over weight and if I would just eat right and lost weight I would feel better and my pain would be gone.

    How do I go about finding out about him, what he does, where he works andwhat is his speciality if he has one?
    I want to know as much about him as he will know about me. I don't want to got h rough some one just thinking that he knows everything from a ten minute exam and will tell the disability that I don't need it as I am just fine.

    I want honesty in this doctor and I want him to be truthful about all the conditions taht I really have and for him to look for them instead of just asking me what I have wrong with me. MY telling him is just hearsay and his doing a workup will show that I have honest pain issues that cause real honest pain that is debetiliting adn that I can't not work now or ever.

    But what am I going to get? A bunckh of lies like the WC's doctor wrote about me. And his final words were that I was eighter a woman who in pain and there was no real proof of a reason why I was in pain I Must have some hard to find pain disorder that no one could find with any test or that I was just a drug seeker looking for pain pills. And the second was what he really thought was the truth.

    Am I going to have to put up with that BS again? Would it help if I had my doctor write a letter to this doctor telling him what I have and that he believes that I am no longer able to work any more as the condititons were only getting worse and the pain was getting worse as well. ONLy he could and would word it much better. Is this some thing I should do and will it help me in any way?

    I just want the truth to be told to the disability people and to be treated in a honest way that is courtious to me and that he is willing to look beyond the I don't haev any tests for fibro or teh cmp.

    Will he look for these things and maybe belive in me that I am telling him the truth adn I am not faking this pain all the time. I don't like being on pain meds everyday , it really is not so much fun.

    But I have learned that when I don't take them I am unable to do much of anything at all. PLease help me to understand what he is going to be looking for and what I should do. My MOM will be with me adn she is 78 buy bnelieves in me and what I haev sufferend with.

    I don'tknow if you can feel this but I am TERRIFIED ABOUT THIS EXAM will he get his knickers in a knot about my being over weight? I will go and I will be in pain when I am there seeing him.

    HE will be able to find some of the resons I have for this unbearable pain that I have 24//7. All I want is a honest doctor who will look for the real resonns for my disability and not make things up. I want him to be truthfull , honest, and above board.

    To listen to what I have to say even if I am in tears crying as he is pokeing me sending the nerves of my body into over drive. I want him to feel each and every knot that I have , OI want him to feel just where in my back I hurt and that there are real reasons for the PAIN. PLease pray for me that I will have a doctor who is honest and truthfull adn willing to believe in what I tell him.

    Sholud I bring my pain dairy? It tells what I have been doing and when the pain started and the level the pain is at and when I took my meds adn what the pain level is after the meds have kicked in. How long the meds last? am I ever out of pain? Why does my knees hurt, why does my tail bone ache adn stab me all of these questions I have adn that I want him to have and to listen to whatI say adn to believ in me. Trust me inwhat I have to say.

    I hope that I will get this but I am not going to held my breathe waiting for a doctor to believe in me.

    I am so scared and fear I will haev a panic attack during the exam from the added pain and from the not knowign this man, I will be in more apin from not taking my meds in teh morning as i don't feel I can drive that eary in the morning when i have taken my MSContin 100 mg's and 30 mg;'s of MSIR, and a 350 of soma. I want him to see and feel the REAL ME THE ONE WHO IS IN THIS WORLD OF PAIN.

    Sorry for all the venting and sounding scared about higs but I am so frigthend about this so much that it makes me sick. I don't want him to tell me that because of my pain meds I am constatpated and that is what is causeing my pain in my back. I am so scard of this and want to scream and run from it but I cna't run so i will e there that day I can only hope thath e he a honest man who believs in peiple who suffer from chroic pain.

    OK I will stop ranting now, It is just that I am so scared about this exam and what he will do in it.

    Ssso very terrified about this exam. Terrified and wanting to cry so scared about this Please belive in me about how scared I really am

    Rosemaried
  2. Lunatic2

    Lunatic2 New Member

    I will say some prayers for you tonight. I totally understand your anxiety with great compassion.
    about the tests-most likely-
    1.like a regular physical exam.(reach up, bend and touch floor, walk accross the room, almost like the police test a DUI person.
    2.you may have to squeeze a metal hand meter that registers the strength in your arms.They will have you repeat it to see if the numbers match again.
    3. they may take an x-ray of some areas-maybe knees, back, if you have difficulty walking, etc.
    my advice, TRUST IN YOURSELF to do your best at conviencing them.
    4.you may have to talk briefly to a "phycologist".

    Almost all my medical records are "twisted" by different doctors. I don't know how they get away with it, but they do. I nearly "passed out" going through "my day at the disability Doctors exam". Don't be afraid to "prove" yourself 2x worse then you already feel. I know that doesn't sound good, but their job is to say "your not disabled". Your job is to "prove" you are. And you are! it is the Truth!

    I had five letters that finally would help me (so I thought) but the appeals Judge for disability had written-
    " I have read her doctor's BS reports!!"
    I was accidently handed the Judge's file and I saw he was bias before I even went into the court room. My son was a wittness too. Anyways, I have accepted the decision and left it all in GOD's HANDS.
    Just remember, every case is different and whatever happens, you just do the best you can to "accept" the outcome. It's not fair the way we are treated.
    I still have such anger and I have to work on that every day. Life with illnesses is miserable.

    If i may suggest something-
    maybe you can type a brief letter about your own history & ask them to put it into your file. They don't give you much time, and they don't write half of what you tell them.
    (thats how I was able to get my Doctor's to write consistant letters to the Judge.) the Judge was the A-hole.
    My claim was denied and I appealed, but was told I could work at least 6 hrs a day and not lift more then 10 lbs.
    if you can walk, bend, lift,twist, get dressed by yourself, then they don't consider you are disabled.

    Just stay focused.
    Do your best to present yourself honestly and don't let them "trip" you up.(thats their job yanno?) They don't want to help. They get paid no matter what, and they resent their jobs.
    God Bless You Rose.... Breath deeply and let go of the outcome.
    I wish you all the best, always! Do your best, and leave the rest. It will be a difficult day, but you will get through it. I promise! Hang on tight to your FAITH.
    **by the way-The idiots overlooked that I had spinal cord compression in the neck and low back at the time. They did not acknowledge my chronic pain and the reasons for strong meds. Its a bummer that we have such a hard time with our diseases and proving how ill we are & how difficult it is to deal with life each day, sometimes feeling defeted. its not fair at all, but somehow, through the tears God is watching over you.
    He knows you are hurting...and whatever the outcome, you just do the best you can. Tomorrow will be a new day!
    Trust in Miracles.... with love to you and yours.[This Message was Edited on 05/13/2006]
  3. suzette1954

    suzette1954 New Member

    getting on at different times. Im sooo sorry you are so upset. We have a right to be. Not everyone is on our side.

    When I was sent to the SSD dr. I had been told he was rude and never gave good reports. I was sooo scared. But he liked me!! I could tell and I started to relax some. He had me touch my toes and try to walk on my tiptoes and on my heals. I pushed against his hand etc. the only thing I could do was bend over from the waist to the floor. He had me lift my legs while he held them down. Stuff like that. When he was through, he said" make sure you get your drs to write good reports about your condition and if they dont do it, call them and say, do you want to be the reason I do not get my disability? He said, What I say will help, but you have to get all records from all of the drs you have seen since the symptoms started.

    I walked out of there on cloud nine. Im praying for you, and remember, we love you and understand!

    Suzette
  4. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    I'm sorry you had a bad experience with a WC Doctor. That can add to your worries. But try to keep an open mind; everyone is different. I can relate a little to what you are going through. I remember being so stressed before my appt. with the insurance Doc. My session was long and he noted that I began to tire but it went well!! I was approved! It can happen!

    I's OK to be nervous, we all are. Try to be yourself as much as possible. Answer the questions but don't offer any additional information. Don't try to read into what he is asking; That will only make you more nervous and he may have an entirely different reason for asking. My own Doctor advised me to make notes after the session when it is fresh in your mind. You can refer to them if you need to later.

    Take some deep breaths. It will be over soon. I'll be thinking of you and let usk now how it goes.

    Kathy.
  5. Jen102

    Jen102 New Member

    sorry you have to go thru this. it is for ssdb? sounds like you aren't really able to drive yourself. can you get someone to take you? if you could do it just this once because of the import of it and because you make many preliminary arrangements to do it, the doc will say you can do it every day as in a work situation. Be aware that they will have spies watch you come in and go out from the apptmt. they have no idea that while you may be able to walk to the car, that you may have difficulty gettin to the house when you get home.

    i wouldn't take extra info. if you have some nazi dr. who hates all people with fms, he will just twist and turn it to his advantage.

    if this is for social security, it is most likely they are just finding the truth, while if it is for disability insurance, they have paid for someone to say what they want.

    sorry to sound so bitter about this, but i had a soc. sec. doc examine me and he was fine, but the insurance co docs were cruel and devious. jen102
  6. crumpton

    crumpton New Member

    I just went to an orthopedic doctor this week. I was told to go to this DR from the disability office. I was very nervous too as I have been trying to get disability for 2 years without an attorney.

    Plus after I received my letter from the disability office I had to reschedule Because I was flying to a family reunion!! Gee Whiz. Haven't heard from them in months and have been trying for two years with this and this is the only time that I really have been somewhere on a plane and then I have to call the office and tell them I couldn't go that date because I was out of town!! Oh Well. They resceduled for the following week

    Well I was now very nervous but the doctor didn't weigh me and just mainly talked to me. I wrote down the dates because that is what I can't remember but then I just explained how I felt and when all this happened. He asked me what I had done to try and help this. I told him.

    He did ask me to bend over and touch my toes if I could and then bend backwards Couldn't do. He checked my reflexes and checked with a pin to see if I could feel it on my legs. He checked my head and try to turn my neck in a circle. Ouch And that was about it.

    He did follow me out the hall which made me nervous because I felt like he was watching me walk. Well I almost fell to the side and grabbed the wall with my hand. I hope he took it for a problem walking which it is and not that my pain meds were causing it. Who knows.

    I don't know what they were looking for. I have never been to an orthopedic since this began. I guess I will find out soon. I hope
  7. Scarlett65

    Scarlett65 New Member

    I had a SS doc visit scheduled in a town an hour away from me. The psychologist calls me to verify not only that I will be coming to the visit but that I will be coming alone, without my husband, and when I inquired about their being steps to get to her office or if an elevator was available I was told no, so I told her no I will not come without my husband, and I will not climb steps to get to you and I do not appreciate SS scheduling me to an appointment I have told them I could not do. I couldnt believe that the social security people did that. I called their 800# and let the person that answered have my wrath that they would ask me to do such a thing knowing that not only I but my physicians had told them I was not able to do but they request I do it anyway in order to get what I paid into a system to get and they are with holding as if I am a common criminal when I have never gotten so much as a speeding ticket in my life. So they gave me a different doc to go see and he was nice, but my husband was in the room with us, and he drove me there. The first psychologist they wanted me to go to had said, "well you wouldnt take your husband to work with you would you?" and my response was "I cant go to work anymore so that question has no relevance with me". I feel like what they did was try and force me to do what I have great difficulty doing to try and say I could do what I know I cant do.