Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by mjgkennedy, Jan 6, 2004.

  1. mjgkennedy

    mjgkennedy New Member

    Need prayers my husband and I get on better. Since he retired two years ago I am finding it very hard. His smoking drives me crazy. I cannot sit in the same room as him. I have my separate room. I like watching the soaps and he doesnt. The only thing we seem to have in common is we both read. He understands my illnesses okey but sometimes I wonder would I be better off on my own. He seems to be in a world of his own. It doesnt help at present as we are both missing our son who has gone to Australia for a year.

    God Bless,
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I'll keep you both in my prayers.

    This is common when husbands retire. Over the years, couples can drift apart without even realizing it become they are apart so much. When they are suddenly together 24/7, the drift becomes obvious.

    Are there any programs there for couples counseling? I know that churches often have these for people who have been married a long time. They are meant to help you rekindle what attracted you to each other in the first place and to embrace the personal growth you have made as individuals. They also help you to communicate.

    I have been alone for about 18 years now and have made a nice life for myself as a single person, but if I had my druthers, I would have rather had a marriage which worked out. As it is, counseling wasn't enough to save my marriage and I now realize I am better off without my ex, but at least I tried everything before ending it.

    I hope you can make a decision which is the best for all concerned. God bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  3. danny3861

    danny3861 New Member

    I will be praying for you both Mary.
    Keep you faith and Lord will find the answer.
    In Jesus name, amen.

  4. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    I can truly understand. I am 37, and my husband is 38. He has MS and was hurt at work a year and a half ago. I have FM and am trying to work. My hsuband was Diagnosed recently with degenerative disk disease. Has protuding disks, etc. In bad shape. I do not think he will ever be able to go back to work. So might as well say he is retired at a young age. Its a hard thing to adapt to, being around your spouse 24/7. He used to be a over the road truck driver.

    We have three sons. They are 17,13 and 11 years old. So they keep us busy and all. I think too when they are older and move away on their own, carry on their own lives, what will become of us? We constantly argue, bicker. It gets to me. It gets to the boys too. I will be praying for you. I am working on trying to find more alone time by myself away from it all. Work on myself, so maybe it will improve the marriage. Doing the best I can, with what I have.

    In love and peace, Sunshyne

  5. PrayerWarrior316

    PrayerWarrior316 New Member

    I will certainly be praying for you and for your husband.

    Many Blessings to you, Judy <a href='' target='_blank'><img src='' border=0></a>
  6. Luann53051

    Luann53051 New Member

    You both will be in my prayers.

  7. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    No two people could be more different than my husband and myself.

    I smoke, he had quit 12 years ago, but does not complain about my smoking.

    He loves comedy on tv, I like crime, true crime, the News, and all most serious movies. (We have two remotes, he likes the tv loud, I like it low).

    I love gardening, he can't stand his hands in the soil! He likes to work on anything that is mechanical, I don't like his grease :) He builds my planters, but I have to do the planting.

    He loves to eat, I hate to eat.

    He is disorderly, I am an orderly nut.

    He likes to go to bed early, I am a nighthawk.

    He likes to dress very casual, I am a stickler for clothes.

    I love to read, he build bookcases to the ceiling to accomadate my ten thousand or more books. He does not like to read, except for Bibical books.

    He has his dog, I have mine.

    He loves to drive a truck, I like a car.

    When my children were home, we fought all the time, now that they are grown, we fight a lot less, but still get into one now and them, yes, about the grown kids!

    He works for an oil company, he is gone for weeks at a time, but when he is home its 24/7 for weeks at a time.

    I like my 'space' he likes to be as close to me as he can get.

    Believe me, most people are as different as night and day, I know my husband and I are. Thats why I listed some of the things we do not agree on here. I wanted to make a point for you.

    God did not make us clones, we are all indiviuals, and therefore each of us is a special work of His art.

    Do pray about you and your husband. I do know that its hard having a man around 24/7, I live with that half a year all the time. We have been married for 31 years now.

    Use the things that you do like to do together, and work on it from there. Thats what we do.

    I will be praying for both of you, as I know you are feeling that life is closing in on you right now. But just trust the Lord, and He will show both of you how to work out a lifestyle that is rewarding to both of you.

    God bless, and keep you.................

    Shalom, Shirl

  8. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Thanks Shirl. I just thought I would share. I do sometimes feel it all closing around me. You are right, we are both individuals. It is so hectic with three teenage sons around too. I been married 19 years now. It gets to me, the arguing and not getting along. But then we got a full plate, both of us as individuals, and a couple, and a family to deal with.

    I mean just 5 years ago or less, we both were healthy, purchased a new home, both working. Now, we lost our home, had to file bankruptsy, both got serious health problems, along with financial problems. Its a big adjustment.

    Who wouldn't go through this ? I think its a natural thing to adjust to all this.

    I am working on myself too, as a individual. Dealing with depression, emotions, the FM.

    Anyays, thanks for the understanding and posting your helpful thoughts.