Struggling! Need support!

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by risinforce, Sep 7, 2004.

  1. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    I have been struggling for awhile now. Lost in the wilderness. I have believed in God all my life and have always turned to him for peace of soul and mind. I have not always been dedicated to his teachings but that has been a goal of mine since FMS. I truely believe I was afflicted with this illness so that I may learn to trust and lean on him. Since becoming sick my relationship w/god has blossomed more than I can say. I have never felt the "poor me or why me" since diagnosed because ever since I became afflicted I have learned to cast my worries to him. This illness (for me) is caused by stress and that is because I was failing at leaning on the lord.

    Lately I have been hurting, not physically so much, but mentally. I suffer for enormous panic/anxiety attacks that haunt me. I have been reading the scripture, praying and have found no relief. Of course I am struck w/the pain but it is like a toe to me now. Always there everyday, just part of who I am now. I find this illness to be the most confusing thing ever. One day its this and the next day it's that. I am to the point of throwing my hands up in the air and giving up on figuring it all out. Please do not misunderstand, my faith is strong, it is the flesh I battle.

    My struggle is trying to figure it all out. Why do I panic? Why is the enemy getting to me? What more do I need to do to keep him away? What am I doing wrong? Am I failing in my relationship w/god? Am I weak? These are the thoughts I have that lately have been haunting me. I do not have an over stressed life. My marriage is good. I am blessed w/a beautiful son. So why the terror? Should I try to stop trying to understand it all? Just let the lord handle it? I know I am to trust and lean on him 100% but when you are experiencing terror in your stomach/mind/heart it is hard to try not to figure out why. Am I losing my mind?

    I am going to see a shrink but is this the answer? I get so tired of one pill after another but sometimes they are necessary. Then there is the pressure from family. Why are you like this? Why do you feel this way? Just think happy thoughts! These are the suggestions I receive daily by the ones I love. If I had these answers I wouldn't be freaking out, right? I even get pressure to trust more in god. Isn't that between he and I? UGH! I absolutely hate the flesh! It is so hard to control sometimes.

    I have certain scripture that was given to me to read but any other help would be great. I feel like a little girl who can't find her home right now. I am tired and feel defeated alot. I pray constantly but I do not always feel peace. For whatever reason god is dealing with me in some way. I whole heartedly believe he has a plan for us all.

    Sorry for the book, I just really could use some friendly faces and advice and of course prayer. Am I alone in feeling this way? I truely feel like I am loosing my mind.

    Thank you for listening,

    God bless - Shawn
  2. grge

    grge New Member

    I am praying that God will bring you perfect peace of mind, that He will erase your fears. I ask that our Lord touch your doctor, your family and all that come near to you with perfect understanding and just the right treatments to help you.

    I ask in the name of Jesus that God will direct your path and pour out His blessings on you.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2004]
  3. Maya-May

    Maya-May New Member

    Shawn, you are not weak and you are not losing your mind. Your brain chemistry is not right thus affecting your emotions, too. And that's a tough place to be in.

    But there is a way out. You need appropriate medication for your anxiety, and maybe for depression, too. Going to a psychiatrist is not a sign of failure but actually, a sign of wisdom. Depression and anxiety are illnesses just like any other illness, and treatable at that.

    Anxiety is horrible. I get it, too, and I know it can be part of this DD. And when we're feeling anxious and vulnerable, one thing is for sure... the enemy will try and get in there and have his say. Don't believe his lies, he's only using your anxiety attack trying to bring you down even more.

    God will never leave you or forsake you. Even when you're praying in the midst of an anxiety attack and no help seems to be coming, He's with you.

    No matter how you try to be positive and think happy thoughts, if you're depressed or anxious it won't work. You need to address the chemical imbalance first. So, please don't blame yourself for feeling as you do. Also, it's very hard for family members to understand what anxiety is like unless you've had it yourself, I guess they're just trying to help you in their own way.

    One more thought, have you had your thyroid checked lately? Problems with thyroid can also cause awful panic attack, so it might be worth a check.

    "Father God, I just lift up Shawn to you right now and pray for Your peace upon her. You allow things to happen and sometimes we don't understand why, Lord, but we know that You're with us every step of the way. Please, comfort her and bring her hope, renew her strength and help her in her acute need. May she find a good doctor who will be able to sort out any chemical imbalances in her brain and give her the appropriate medication. Bring forth people who will comfort her, understand her and support her. Let her feel Your loving arms around her. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

  4. marta

    marta New Member

    Maya said it beautifully, there is little I can add, but I do want to underscore what she said about chemical imbalance. See, my faith doesn't embrace a Creator who's a fair-weather God. I don't believe we're blamed because we're not praying enough, believing enough....lacking anything, because if we are indeed created in His name and likeness there can be no lack in us.

    If we accept this as truth, then the problem is a chemical one. Assuming that your doctor has been thourough, a good psychiatrist can be marvelous in helping to balance meds and find one that will lift your anxiety and depression.

    Please stop blaming yourself and just KNOW: that you are loved, you were created perfectly and that your body is made to be healthy. Affirmations might help, like: "Everything I need to know is revealed to me. Everything I need comes to me. I am loved. I am healthy. I am safe."

  5. jill5050

    jill5050 New Member

    I don't think you are going through anything unique. I've felt the way you do many times. I just try to surround myself with positive people, read the Word, and continually listen to Christian radio. I always come around, but it can be a hard time.

    I think this disease really throws us. Like you said, it's different everyday. So we live on a teeter-totter. All of our lives we think that we are on solid ground, able to know that the future probably won't be too different than today. That we can count on at least ourselves.

    Then we get this disease- and nothing is the same each day- you don't know what the future has in store- will we be in a scooter chair?- Will my spouse be dissapointed that I am impared?- can I take care of my kids well enough-will I be able to work?

    Well, just know that fear and anxiety are not from the Lord. Just cry out for help, and delcare that all evil thoughts (the devil)are not welcome in you by the blood of Jesus Christ. We have the right to use His name like that. Claim that power.

    I know it's not easy, I'm not claiming it is. We are all trying to find our equalibrium each day, and trying to perfect ourselves in Jesus Christ.

    Lord, I pray that Shawn reaches out for comfort in your always loving arms. I ask that you help her cast out all doubt, fear, and anxiety. Please Lord, I pray that it is Your will to reduce her pain. Help her find her way- send Christian friends to help her, support her. Shawn is your loving creation, I pray that you help her lead her wonderful life with her spouse and special child. I pray you send angels down to surround her. Lord, please infuse her wil bountiful hope and endless joy.

    I pray these things will be in Your will, in Your precious name- AMEN!

    Blessings to you, Shawn,