Stupid Post that Started it ALL

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by marinemom, Oct 20, 2002.

  1. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Don't be surprised if you don't get a lot of responses here. I posted one and I only got 4-5 responses from these few wonderful ladies.

    I'm hurting, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. It's funny, I read all these posts and I see numerous replies with lots of support from different people. One post said that there are 10,000 memebers on this site. And I get 5 lousy posts. I'm NOT knocking those who did offer support and answers, but gee whiz, I think that hurt worse than the non support that I get here at home. This was a place where I THOUGHT I had "sisters and brothers" who understood.

    I can't figure out if it's because I remind others of the same crap they are going through, or if it's just not enough for anyone to care.

    You know, a thousand years ago, I gave a tupperware party for my friends and family. They ordered a huge amount BEFORE the party, but when the time came for people to show up, it was me and the Tupperware lady who had to eat all the food and snacks I had prepared. I have NEVER tried that again.

    That's sorta like what I feel like here. So, if you're looking for sympathy and support, don't expect too much. Of course, keep in mind, it could just be me.

    Who knows! Yeah, I'm in the process of wallowing in self-pity, but da** it, I fell like I've earned it.

    I know that someone out there MIGHT read this and suggest therapy. That's a joke too! We're gonna be moving to a small town in a couple of months (only ONE stop light) and I don't think there's gonna be a shrink on the corner block.

    Well, sorry if I disappointed anyone, but I really had to let this out. Been up since 4 AM and had a lot of time to think about it.

    One time I posted a WONDERFUL poem my oldest son wrote, but Mikie moved it because it wasn't appropriate for this site. Then I posted a "Joke for the day" just to lighten spirits a little. Same response. But, scroll down this site, and you'll find poems gallore. True, it's depressing poems about the DA** disease, but they are there.

    Well, I can't take it anymore. I'll keep the very few "friends" I have found here. But since this was my ONLY place I could go for support and words of kindness, I know now that basically, I'm on my own.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/21/2002]
  2. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Don't be surprised if you don't get a lot of responses here. I posted one and I only got 4-5 responses from these few wonderful ladies.

    I'm hurting, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. It's funny, I read all these posts and I see numerous replies with lots of support from different people. One post said that there are 10,000 memebers on this site. And I get 5 lousy posts. I'm NOT knocking those who did offer support and answers, but gee whiz, I think that hurt worse than the non support that I get here at home. This was a place where I THOUGHT I had "sisters and brothers" who understood.

    I can't figure out if it's because I remind others of the same crap they are going through, or if it's just not enough for anyone to care.

    You know, a thousand years ago, I gave a tupperware party for my friends and family. They ordered a huge amount BEFORE the party, but when the time came for people to show up, it was me and the Tupperware lady who had to eat all the food and snacks I had prepared. I have NEVER tried that again.

    That's sorta like what I feel like here. So, if you're looking for sympathy and support, don't expect too much. Of course, keep in mind, it could just be me.

    Who knows! Yeah, I'm in the process of wallowing in self-pity, but da** it, I fell like I've earned it.

    I know that someone out there MIGHT read this and suggest therapy. That's a joke too! We're gonna be moving to a small town in a couple of months (only ONE stop light) and I don't think there's gonna be a shrink on the corner block.

    Well, sorry if I disappointed anyone, but I really had to let this out. Been up since 4 AM and had a lot of time to think about it.

    One time I posted a WONDERFUL poem my oldest son wrote, but Mikie moved it because it wasn't appropriate for this site. Then I posted a "Joke for the day" just to lighten spirits a little. Same response. But, scroll down this site, and you'll find poems gallore. True, it's depressing poems about the DA** disease, but they are there.

    Well, I can't take it anymore. I'll keep the very few "friends" I have found here. But since this was my ONLY place I could go for support and words of kindness, I know now that basically, I'm on my own.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/21/2002]
  3. domesticgoddess

    domesticgoddess New Member

    Hi

    BTW looked at your Profile. You are one Beautiful Lady!

    DX in 90 with Fibromyalgia.

    I haven't posted lately for several reasons. My birthmom (who found me & my twin sis in 90) was here for a month visit & she just left this past week. Also, I work 4 days a week & getting packed for a 7 day cruise this Saturday.

    Not trying to make excuses, but just wanted to let you know My Heart Goes Out To You! I'm sorry you are feelin so bad. It sounds like to me you are realing dreading the move.

    Please don't feel like you are being slighted. This Board moves SO FAST I even have a hard time keeping up. I frequent many Fibro Boards and must admit These people here are the most Caring Individuals I have found.

    Hang in There Sweetie! Sending Healing Thoughts Your Way!

    Gentleness
  4. kredca4

    kredca4 New Member

    I just got through getting my feelings Hurt, and telling some Very Sweet People "Off" over Nothing.
    Of course at the time it seemed like a big Deal, but I was going through some Major changes, and I was not handling Life as well as I thought I could.

    Hubby's moved here to Ca to be with me after 6 years, and he's looking for work, when everyones being laid off.

    I'm having to take care of my Mom's affairs since her Passing.

    I got a new Puppy and he's great company, but I can get cross with even that sweetie.

    It's when things go wrong and get Stressful that we feel this way. I'm so glad for the few Friends that I have here and the support and forgiveness they show me.

    We can not be Friends with everyone, I have found that out the hard way, I'm one of the Older, (lol) member's, been here for 3 years, and I have made some good Friend's, and have lost some good friends too.

    Please know that you are Wanted here, and that your imput is just as valuable as anyone else's.

    Here's a ((((HUG))) for you and hoping that you have a Sunshine and Painfree Day.

    BTW have you been to the other Boards here? They are fun and it does help to keep the Fun going when we have a Place to cut up.

    I have had posts go unanswered, have had Mikie move or mainly delete my posts that didn't belong here. So you are not alone;
    I call it Mikie's REDPEN when she does that, lol.

    Feel better, and remember you don't need but a few Good Friends instead of a lot of Pretend Friends, my Gramdma use to tell me that one in Hi School.

    Sincerely
    kredca4/sharon
    [This Message was Edited on 10/20/2002]
  5. sean

    sean New Member

    I also looked at your profile, Wow what a stunner, thats all I can say. Oh and I know where your coming from, sometimes, when people are feeling better they, forget what it was like when they felt bad, other times people are that caught up in there own problems they, don't seem to wan't to answer the problems you have yourself. Other times they may simply not have an answer to your post. The truth is that, I and a lot of other people on this board do care about fellow sufferers, some that are currently feeling better, may not wan't to hear negativity as you said it might remind them of when they were feeling crap. This can understandably be quite scary to them. I fully understand this as I've been there, but I also know and understand there is a need to get things off your chest, no matter how negative they sound. The stronger of us, should recognise this, and understand the need to be positive, in a positive way. To be supportive to those who are hurting. I truly believe that everyone on this board wants to help themselves, and does not come here looking for sympathy. Understanding and help is what they come here for. So I would like to say this to you marinemom, people do care about you, you are never on your own, and to everyone else on the board lets be aware of peoples feelings, it's easy to lose sight of what you were like when you were bad. When you have not been in that position for some time, everyone is effected differently, remember this, you cannot judge everyone by your own standards. All we can do is try to get better, and keep trying. If someone wants to vent, then let them vent.
  6. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    to everyone. Sean, I may be a stunner, but that picture is a Glamor Shot. And let's be real, they EVEN make Rosanne Barr look good! Without Maybeline and Lady Clarol to cover the gray, I scare little children!

    I know what you mean about no one wanting to be reminded of how bad they feel. I guess I was looking for a little sympathy. I get NONE here at home.

    Sorry if I upset anyone.
    Kathy
  7. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    I understand...I think everyone does. I have felt that I wasn't given the attention I needed before, too, but then I get loads of loads of it the next time I post a message. I know that, because of pain and fatigue and depression, oftentimes, I can barely sit in this chair to read all of the wonderful things all of my friends (including you) have written, much less type some words of comfort. I do write when I don't feel so bad, but when I'm feeling rotten, I just read and keep my negativity to myself. This is not the healthiest thing to do, I know, but I've always tried to put up a brave front. Stupidly, I even did this when I saw my Rheumatologist recently. Instead of telling him that my pain wasn't controlled, I bragged that I was doing SO well. I think I did this because of my recent liver biopsy results~~I just couldn't deal with more talk about more problems! Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't bother any of you with this and I know I can become rather self-absorbed and negative when I am in a bad flare.
    So, my dear one, please forgive me for being unattentive to your needs. I will try to do better. There are so many posts~~why don't you type in bold script, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME N-O-W....I NEED YOU GUYS!!!!!!!"

    Love,
    Kady
    [This Message was Edited on 10/20/2002]
  8. poodlegirl

    poodlegirl New Member

    I tried to go back and look thru my posts. I could have sworn I have posted to you. I try to post to people who has not gotten a lot of replies. I could not find where I talked to you. I know how it is not to get a lot of replies. It is sort of hurtful, but this board does move quicker than my fingers does. So sorry if you felt slighted. Believe me, If I did not write to you, then I surely did mean to. I would not want to hurt anyone's feelings for anything in the world. Some may have gotten angry at me over my post to Sue, but hurting her was not my intention. I just get angry, just like you have gotten upset over this, I do when someone says I am in a "rut". We all spew from time to time, but to hurt someone's feeling was not my intentions. I would rather hurt myself as to hurt someone else. I am very appologetic if you have felt no one cares. We do care. I don't get the replies I wish I would get, but that is just how it is. People on here cares about me (I HOPE!!). Even though, they might not always respond, they know I am here. I have looked at your posts and you respond to us. It is sort of like a big conference call. I might respond to your response of someone else's post (understand?). Just because I have not directly answered you does not mean you are not in my thoughts! Hope this explains at least where I come from. Love,
    Shellie
  9. sapphire

    sapphire New Member

    I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I do understand why. I think alot of people are like me, they don't post very often. I mostly just read everyday. I just feel like there are people on here that are so much more knowledgeable than I am so therefore I keep silent. I'm also afraid I will word something wrong and hurt someone's feelings and I would not want to do that. I'm just having so many cognitive problems and I just can't get my thoughts together the way I want to. I will try to be more supportive to everyone from now on. Even if the reply is only a sentence or two. Sometimes that can mean so much.
    This is the best place to come for support so I hope you continue to come. I have support at home but I still need the support here. The people here do care about you.

    Sapphire
  10. pepper

    pepper New Member

    I remember reading your previous post that received so few replies. I felt so badly for you but didn't feel that I had anything further to contribute.

    Maybe that is a lesson - I should have just put my 2 cents worth in anyways to let you know that you have friends and support here. I didn't realize that a non-response could be so negative but after reading this post I see that it is. From now on I will reply even if it is to echo the sentiments of others.

    I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time.
    (((HUGS)))Pepper

  11. karen2002

    karen2002 New Member

    Seems the responses, sometimes go in waves. I think weekends are particularly slow. Other times it goes quit fast, and a good bumping always helps. (did I say that?)
    I haven't started many threads, just throw in my two cents worth (okay so maybe its just a penny's worth) when I find a post that hits home. I know when I have read some posts concerning someone feeling down and out, and I myself have not been feeling to well, I have not replied. I think the fear in replying is that I will not have anything positive, or upbeat to say. I don't want to deepen someones depression.
    I read on your profile--that you are in Houston. I am not too far from there, having migrated to the Hill Country from Houston.
    I think I read in another of your post that you are moving to a one traffic light town. Is it still within Texas? Just curious...as all the towns around me are one lighters :)
    Karen
  12. Kathryn

    Kathryn New Member

    Hi Kathy,
    I have only been on this board for a short time, but I do try to read every post. I sometimes do not answer because I am in the middle of a self-caused major flare and I figure, if someone is already down, they don't need me dragging them down farther. I am one of the lucky ones who does have an understanding and supportive husband but, even he sometimes wants me to do more than I am capable of. I think we all have to accept that the only people who truely understand us are "US". I have posted queries that I had hoped would draw more response than they did, but I decided that possibly the time or day that I posted them might have had some bearing on the numbers. The messages flit by so fast at times that an hour or two after a message is posted, it is already on the second page. I hope you know that you are not really alone as long as you have the friends on this board. Some might have problems that prevent them from answering a message, others might have seen a previous reply that already stated what they would have said, and others might not have seen your message. The support is here, just not always visible - just like our problems.
    Kathryn
  13. LindaH

    LindaH New Member

    Please know you are not alone. There are so many of us in this world. I read posts quite often but do not post much. It always seems to help me just to know that I am not in this all by myself. I also can relate about the Tupperware party. Been there done that. I just wanted to tell you that even though at times it appears there is no response that there is someone reading your post who just maybe can't reply. That someone may be me. I am so sorry you are hurting. May you have a good and painfree day.

    God Bless
    Linda
  14. cpalance

    cpalance New Member

    It's me again, I completely understand. My very first post I got into it with Shirl (a moderator) and stood up for myself and no one responds to my posts. So I just try and be there for everyone else. You are my kind of person, at least you had the guts to say something. Trust me I know how it feels. But I am not giving up, I have noone else except this board. Except for my husband who is trying. Seriously we need to get together b/f you move.

    Cindy
  15. achy

    achy New Member

    But what do you expect...this is a message board, not a in person support group. I find most of them are this way. Unless you and another person really "click" Thru similar interests or location it's hard to fit in.
    On the other hand, I read much more that I post. Simple reason is my hands are in such bad shape I simply can't type a responce to every post.
    Don't take it personally...message boards are not personal. Why nont try to find a local support group where you live? Check wiht your arthritis assoc or local hospital.
    I care...
    Achy
  16. allhart

    allhart New Member

    so many times if thought about leaving this board because there are times when i have gotten no responses to my post and even have gotten some very mean ones telling me im not a good mother ive learned to just get over it a,because i have nowhere eles to go b, there is alot of good info here c,there are some very caring people here and we all have days when we can not answer post even when we try because the fog is so bad you realize what we wrote may not make sense to anyone but ourself so we dont post it .
    you are not on your own many of use are here for you,there are so many diffrent options here you have to value them all or you may not learn anything and there are days that even the best of us are so sick and in so much pain that we come off sounding mean when we are not i had one of those days yesterday,and ive had a poem removed also and it was about this dd.so i do know alittle of what your feeling hug and prayers your way
    kara
  17. Fairyeyes

    Fairyeyes New Member

    Like some of the other ladies said. Plus, do you personally respond to all the messages on this board? Don't expect more from other people than you yourself can do.

    I just hope nobody who was desperately hurting came to the board for their very first time and read your post first. They may have left, never to return and find solace. This board has helped me a lot more than I can ever express, with or without answers to my posts.

    I suppose you got more replies than you thought you'd ever get.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/20/2002]
  18. ohmyaching

    ohmyaching New Member

    I remember wondering if your name meant you had a kid in the marines. Sorry if you feel people are ignoring you. Thinking is extremely hard for me. I am often in a fog. Sometimes it will take me several hours, even several days just to write one response and make sure that what I said makes sense. I don't always succeed at that. For this reason I am often limited by my ability to respond to too many posts.

    Sometimes I'll read a post, but if I have nothing to add to what other people have said I don't necessarily respond. Anything I have to say has already been expressed, but that doesn't mean I don't care.

    Please try to bear with us. The moderators have the last word. They aren't perfect. This aggrevates some people, but that's just the way it is. Being a moderator is a hard job, especially if you've got a disease that wears you down to begin with. Try to give them a break. If you are unsure about where to post something try contacting the moderator first. Poems and jokes are suppopsed to be posted in the chit chat room to leave plenty of room here to discuss the diseases. Have you been to the chit chat room? (That's where the party is.)

    I hope you get to feeling better and can find some help and support here as well as being able to give some support to others who need it.
    (I think I just spent 45 minutes writing this.)
    Take care,
  19. PMangels

    PMangels New Member

    I can understand your frustration at not getting many replies to your post but I don't think anyone here is trying to be mean or not care. I find most people on this board to be very caring, loving and supportive.

    I do not mean to ignore your post or anyone elses but I am able to work yet and am away from my home nine hours a day five days a week. When I come home I am pretty well spent. It's impossible for me to read and respond to each and every post because I would be up all night. It's not because I don't care about people. I try to love everyone. I care very much about people and I don't like to see anyone hurting, physically or mentally. I do want you to know that I do care about you.

    Most of the time I hit the CC board because it is a place for fun and it gives me a place to unwind from my days work. I don't always post there either but I like to read the hilarious post and responses...it helps me deal with my own pain. Laughter is very theraputic. Maybe you could go over to the Chit Chat board and you would find something of interest for you there. Everything and anything is discussed there. I

    True, I read some posts that I don't know anything about so I do not respond. I do not have the time to do research
    like some on this board...bless them for doing it. These precious people give of their time to pass this information to the rest of us and ask nothing in return. I try to make time to read what I have time for but I don't post on those either. It's not because I don't care what they shared...I just don't know enough about it. I'm just thankful those people care enough about us to pass the information on.

    I don't know if what I said makes sense but wanted you to know that I do care about you and sorry I missed your post. Please don't be offended by it because I certainly had know intentions of ignoring you.

    Respectfully,
    Arlene
  20. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Gee, I bet you have them looking your way now!!I think you've struck a chord here!!YEAH!!LOL
    Each day when I scroll down the message board...I pick and choose which ones to read purely by the topic,and reply to a few here&there probably not as much as I should.I understand how you feel and believe we've all felt the same at one time or another~I'm sure nobody here means anything by not responding.(I hope~)Alot of posts only get 2or 3 replys before jumping on to page two......and then you'll find some with 18 replys!!Go figure??I surely have'nt figured it out yet.
    I do sympathize with everyone who lives day to day with this DD!Its tough!!! and to those who feel we're whiners!OH WELL!!or as my 6 yr old would say.."Talk to the hand"
    Warm regards,
    Tracey

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