Subject: Mammograms (Very Important)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by elliespad, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    Subject: Very Important!!
    >>> >>
    >>> >>Mammograms
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > simple exercises right in and around your home.
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > EXERCISE ONE:
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut
    >> the
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the f
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > irst time wasn't effective enough.
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > EXERCISE TWO:
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > other breast.
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > EXERCISE THREE:
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > breasts.
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > AND, just a thought for all the women out there........
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > MENopause............
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Ever notice how a ll of women's problems start with
    >> men?.........And
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have
    >> a
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > mammogram!!!!!!
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Hard to Find
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Supportive
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Comfortable
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Always Lifts You Up
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
    >>> >>
    >>> >> >
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > Share this with a friend!
    >>> >>
    >>> >> > I DID
  2. paulmack

    paulmack New Member

    That gave me a Mamm-oth laugh,lol.
  3. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    This post is so funny and so true!!!!!

    Thanks!
  4. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    Hysterical!!! Thanks for the laugh! Hope you had some more good laughs and good times for your birthday! Kim :)
  5. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    Sounds like a mammo with our local tech!
  6. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    No DOUBT invented by a man. I find them SO UNBELIEVABLY painful, and I know women who hardly feel them, GO FIGURE.

    Thank you Boltchic for remembering my birthday. We went out to dinner at a Mexican Restaurant we had never been too, was good. Not as good as others we have been to but still good, and someplace new to us. So it was nice. Thanks.

  7. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    Glad you tried a new restaurant, sounds like a nice evening. I know what you mean by painful. I had one recently and I was sore for 3 days afterward. Ouch!!
    Have a great night! Kim :)