Support for Our Support

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by YiuTaiTai, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. YiuTaiTai

    YiuTaiTai New Member

    I know that this may sound insensitive to our own problems, but I think that it's important.

    So many of us have loved ones and friends who just can't fathom the exhaustion and pain that simply does not end. But...some of us do have someone who takes care of us and doesn't try to understand, but just accepts the situation. My situation is like this. My dad doesn't understand that this is an every day thing. He thinks that I have "good days" and "bad days." Which is partly true, but as you all know, the "bad" days are the norm, and a good day comes once in a while.

    My husband, on the other hand, doesn't try to understand what I'm going through, only THAT I'm going through something. He doesn't feel the need to know the details, he just wants to be able to comfort me when it's needed. And he *tries* to regulate my activity. He reminds me that I can't do something, even though I want to do it, and to prove that I *can* do it!

    Well, as my only real support, my husband is so stressed. He's like my bridge, but eventually, the bridge sags in the middle a little bit. So when know one else understands our situation, where does *he* go for support?? He knows that I don't want the world to know that I'm sick, but he certainly needs a place to vent his frustrations.

    I suggested that he talk to one of his friends (who also happens to have fibro), but he doesn't seem to keen on the idea. Hopefully it will grow into something that he considers as an acceptable outlet.
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    My mom sounds like your dad. She still thinks if I rest I'll have a good day(used to be),there are very few good days anymore.

    I worry about my sister who is my main supporter and I worry about her. Understand what you are saying about hubby. Could you suggest to the friend he bring it up? Or maybe hubby doesnt feel like telling feelings to someone close. Is there a support group where you are? Even if he found one oneline.

    It is very important for caregivers to have an outlet too.