sure could use a hug....I had a horrible visit with a pain manage

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by seaview, Dec 9, 2002.

  1. seaview

    seaview New Member

    doctor who( after keeping me waiting for 2 hours,45 minites of that in a gown))said that it appears that all has been tried on me and started asking the ?'s like have you been a victim of physical,emotional,sexual abuse? Mind you I had already filled out his questionare that asked all the same ?s he was asking. MY husband went with me to support me....Well, after asking the abuse ?s and then asking about depression I lost it and began to cry. He had already done the basic push against my hand,pushing on my tender points,and making me bend.I started to cry and my legs were already shaking. I broke out in a huge hot sweat. He said that he could do nothing for me( I also do have lower disc problems)and is recommending I go to a multi-disciplinary pain managemnt clinic which there are none within 5 hours of here. He said,"Psycological testing needs to be done,along with teaching you how to cope with the pain."I really lost it now. I was sobbing as I realized he was saying that my pain is due to an emotional thing. He began to talk to my husband as if I were not there explaining that these are inpatient clinics(generally 3 weeks) He told my husband that we can expect to have to fight our HMO to get in. Has anyone asked me how I feel about this.oh no, they are just seeing me sob. Then the doctor (after having been rude about the medications I was on and why I did not know the amounts or lenth oftime tooken)saids something to the effect of how I so "reacted when he touched me". I lost it and said,"you asked where it hurt and I told you....what do you expect! He then responds,"well by the way you are reacting(crying) there must be deeper issues. My response was....well, I am so sorry for crying....I hurt all over and I feel you are insensitive to me. He of course looked at my husband and said, "well, I am only trying to help!
    I should have left when I saw that it stated that they do not treat pain with any narcotics. So, he says,"I will send a report to your primary" end of appt.oh, don't let me forget how he comes over to shake my hand and say that he hopes I am not angry with him....he is only trying to help! I looked at him and said.....and I am only trying to get relief from this all over,never ending pain.Great, now when I see my pcp I can only imagine what he will hve said about me. It is funny because 2 years ago when I saw 3 nueros for my back they wrote what a pleasant ,cooperative woman I was. I am sure that will not be his perception(after a short 10 minutes with me. My husband says I was rude. He s aid I should blow off "his opinion" but at the same time saying that I do obviously have issues with the pain! We have not been getting along at all so this just rubbed salt in a very open wound. I left sobbing all the way home with my husband saying....what is your problem. He was just trying to help. I said,"don't you see,he is blaming my pain on mental issues!" of course, he doen't get it and is mad at me for embarrassing him and embarrassing myself! I cried for an hour and finally got up. Husband went to work and I am left feeling frustrted,in sooooo much pain and scared.
    Now, I am trying the guai(which I did not mention to him)and I hope after reading this docs report my primary will let me continue it since I just started a month ago. I am so mad at myself for going to this doctor. So, I need some hugs,advise,encouragemnt and so on. Have any of you ever gone to one of these inpatient multi-diciplinary pain management places? I feel so misunderstood and alone right now. How can a doctor whom saw for 15 minutes max make such big assessments about me. And with a brush of his arm be gone. How come they cannot understand what their patients are going through since that is what they are suppose to be doctors for!
    OH my gosh, have I vented! please forgive me! I feel so alone here. My husband is sick of me being in pain.Frankly, if we didn't have kids I am sure he would be gone. Now, I have to explain all this to my pcp whom I am just trying to establish a relationship with. We are short about 300 pcp in our area so I can only see him evry 3 months. Not for the makings of a great doc/patient understanding. Ok, I am done.......You are all wonderful and as I walked by our computer I knew I could turn to you for the support I need. So much for docs understanding us!
    Blessings and gentle hugs to you all,
    Kathleen
  2. seaview

    seaview New Member

    doctor who( after keeping me waiting for 2 hours,45 minites of that in a gown))said that it appears that all has been tried on me and started asking the ?'s like have you been a victim of physical,emotional,sexual abuse? Mind you I had already filled out his questionare that asked all the same ?s he was asking. MY husband went with me to support me....Well, after asking the abuse ?s and then asking about depression I lost it and began to cry. He had already done the basic push against my hand,pushing on my tender points,and making me bend.I started to cry and my legs were already shaking. I broke out in a huge hot sweat. He said that he could do nothing for me( I also do have lower disc problems)and is recommending I go to a multi-disciplinary pain managemnt clinic which there are none within 5 hours of here. He said,"Psycological testing needs to be done,along with teaching you how to cope with the pain."I really lost it now. I was sobbing as I realized he was saying that my pain is due to an emotional thing. He began to talk to my husband as if I were not there explaining that these are inpatient clinics(generally 3 weeks) He told my husband that we can expect to have to fight our HMO to get in. Has anyone asked me how I feel about this.oh no, they are just seeing me sob. Then the doctor (after having been rude about the medications I was on and why I did not know the amounts or lenth oftime tooken)saids something to the effect of how I so "reacted when he touched me". I lost it and said,"you asked where it hurt and I told you....what do you expect! He then responds,"well by the way you are reacting(crying) there must be deeper issues. My response was....well, I am so sorry for crying....I hurt all over and I feel you are insensitive to me. He of course looked at my husband and said, "well, I am only trying to help!
    I should have left when I saw that it stated that they do not treat pain with any narcotics. So, he says,"I will send a report to your primary" end of appt.oh, don't let me forget how he comes over to shake my hand and say that he hopes I am not angry with him....he is only trying to help! I looked at him and said.....and I am only trying to get relief from this all over,never ending pain.Great, now when I see my pcp I can only imagine what he will hve said about me. It is funny because 2 years ago when I saw 3 nueros for my back they wrote what a pleasant ,cooperative woman I was. I am sure that will not be his perception(after a short 10 minutes with me. My husband says I was rude. He s aid I should blow off "his opinion" but at the same time saying that I do obviously have issues with the pain! We have not been getting along at all so this just rubbed salt in a very open wound. I left sobbing all the way home with my husband saying....what is your problem. He was just trying to help. I said,"don't you see,he is blaming my pain on mental issues!" of course, he doen't get it and is mad at me for embarrassing him and embarrassing myself! I cried for an hour and finally got up. Husband went to work and I am left feeling frustrted,in sooooo much pain and scared.
    Now, I am trying the guai(which I did not mention to him)and I hope after reading this docs report my primary will let me continue it since I just started a month ago. I am so mad at myself for going to this doctor. So, I need some hugs,advise,encouragemnt and so on. Have any of you ever gone to one of these inpatient multi-diciplinary pain management places? I feel so misunderstood and alone right now. How can a doctor whom saw for 15 minutes max make such big assessments about me. And with a brush of his arm be gone. How come they cannot understand what their patients are going through since that is what they are suppose to be doctors for!
    OH my gosh, have I vented! please forgive me! I feel so alone here. My husband is sick of me being in pain.Frankly, if we didn't have kids I am sure he would be gone. Now, I have to explain all this to my pcp whom I am just trying to establish a relationship with. We are short about 300 pcp in our area so I can only see him evry 3 months. Not for the makings of a great doc/patient understanding. Ok, I am done.......You are all wonderful and as I walked by our computer I knew I could turn to you for the support I need. So much for docs understanding us!
    Blessings and gentle hugs to you all,
    Kathleen
  3. j9miller

    j9miller New Member

    I am so sorry you had to deal with yet another "uneducated, uninformed, uncaring doctor". There are far to many out there and it sounds like you got a big time "loser" today. Please, keep searching even it means having to travel outside your area. You deserve the best treatment and meds that will make you as comfortable as possible. That is our right as patients. Hang in there.

    Janine
  4. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    You sure had a bad day all the way around! I am so sorry you found one of 'those' doctors! Just write him off, and start fresh with someone who has some compassion.

    You take care, try to get some of that stress down, that will make the pain a little easier to deal with. That doctor was enough to put you into a flare, instead of helping you.

    Get warm and get into bed, try to relax. Just let this day go, and start new tomorrow.

    Blessings going out for you.

    Shalom, Shirl
  5. mellow

    mellow New Member

    I know exactly how you feel. I had the same experience with a rheumatologist. He told me I must be suppressing some memory and that I knew what it was. I sat there trying to think and going over all the events that had taken place. I lost both my parents through medical mistakes, have had numerous other stressful events to deal with and in the end I was crying and a real mess. He said I knew what the problem was but must be suppressing it! I was a wreck. He then told me there was nothing he could give me for the pain and that was that. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and he knows that the pain and other symptoms are real and has been wonderful as has my GP. I cannot believe how some specialists can treat you. Do they think we enjoy living our lives the way we are forced to? I am not going back to this rheumy. and my doctor agrees that his approach was wrong. It isn't easy finding an understanding Rheumatologist - they just don't know what to do with us because they don't understand. It is very easy to say "it's all in your head". We know it isn't. I hope you find someone more understanding. Love Mellow
  6. karen2002

    karen2002 New Member

    Kathleen...I have been exactly where you are too many times. Please consider looking for a doctor who specializes in FM/CFS. Finally ....after so much frustration, pain, and disbelief, I found a Doc who will treat my FM and CFS. I ride four hours for my appointments, but it is SO worth it. I am now being treated with an integrated approach. My pain is being managed, and I have the support of someone who genuinely cares, and stays on top of the latest research.
    Best Wishes, Karen
  7. Kathryn

    Kathryn New Member

    I had one of those quasi-educated "specialists" too. He sent me to a work hardening clinic where I managed to break my back lifting weights. Naturally, it was all my fault because I was old and obviously did something wrong. I didn't even bother to tell the silly little twit that I had been lifting weights for years and ran a minimum of 5 miles 3 times a week before I had gotten hurt. I let him write me off as uncooperative and left. My back is now ok, except when it hurts, but my fm has gotten progressively worse. I see that you are in California. There certainly must be someone who can become your pcp? You deserve to have your pain managed properly, and your present pcp is setting himself up for a malpractice suit if he doesn't get with the program. A doctor near us has just been suspended for the second time for failing to treat pain adequately. You might want to mention this to your present doctor - or an attorney. My email is on my profile if you want the doctor's name & city. I don't want to post it publicly, because he really is a very nice person, just not much of a doctor. Maybe he can go back to school and become a mechanic or something.
    Kathryn
  8. phenom

    phenom New Member

    i hate it when doctors make you feel like it all in your head - don't worry hon, WE know the truth, just keep believing in yourself. giant hugs for you - try to relax today and re-group.

    phenom
  9. achy

    achy New Member

    You poor thing....been there, just last week. SEe my post SSD exam was horrible...
    You know in your heart how you feel, don't let anyone else try to dismiss your feelings. They have to look at psycological issues...and you must admit many of us have them. And they do play a part in our health. But just because you are depressed, anxious, does not mean your pain is not real..or just in your head. I tend to get very defensive when a doc...goes there...and I have to watch my attitude. I get very defensive, they see it, and take it the wrong way. My hubby has done the same thing...he doen't understand why I get so defensive. Also, stop worrying how ppl perceive you...it doesn't matter. If your a B-ich..so what. Who has the right to tell you how to feel?
    But at the same time try to accept advice others offer you. You don't have to go to the pain mgt clinic...its you body. But then again, maybe they could help. It doesn't hurt to look into it...if that's what YOU want to do.
    Sit down and try to explain to hubby how you feel...why you get upset, what is going on in your head. He is most likely not a mind reader...he doens't know unless you tell him. Once you do, it's on his plate as to how to help you. I know once I did this wiht mine it helped a bunch....
    Hang in there....do something for yourself today. You deserve it
    Warm fuzzies
    Achy

  10. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    First of all, don't worry too much about what your PCP thinks of this guy. My docs have had the same low opinion of other docs that I have had over the years.

    I would not consider a pain clinic where they refuse to use opiods for pain control. What's the point? Find a pain clinic where they can give you something for the pain; my doc gave me Morphine (which, BTW, my PCP didn't agree with). It was a God send until the Guai started working well enough to help with the pain. The Guai is such a long-term deal that you need something in the meantime. I almost never have to use the Morphine any more.

    If they want you to see a psychologist, try to find a neuropsychologist who understands the neurological and chemical changes which take place in our brains.

    It is fine to use a milti-discipline approach to our illnesses. Therapy is a very important part of our healing, but unless the docs are willing to do something to alleviate your pain, all the therapy in the world will not heal you. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie