Suzan...Where are you?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by laceymae, Mar 28, 2008.

  1. laceymae

    laceymae New Member

    If you are lurking out there, please let me know how things are going.

    I think of you often.

    hugs to you
  2. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    singing and playing the blues.....'cause I do not know how you are.

  3. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I hope you are busy with all your dreams and life! You certainly deserve it!

  4. monica33flowers

    monica33flowers New Member

    She will pop in soon. I sent her a quick email to let her know she was being paged.
  5. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    You are all so sweet! I am sorry I have been so absent. It has been rough for me FM wise...and computer time often is one of the casualties!

    I am doing pretty well mentally these days. I have gone thru the stages of grief about the marriage. And I have had to examine it..and what I have found is that I had to admit to myself that I hae spent much of my married life being with someone who was controlling and manipulative and abusive..not only toward me, but toward my children as well. I have chosen to live in the truth . I have talked with my 3 grown kids, and several of my friends about the truth of my life. And I have found that in dealing in the truth, I have lifted an immense burden off myself. I am lighter in spirit now..and I feel like I can go forward in a much healthier way.

    The biggest challenge for me now is to learn how to not respond as a victim. I contantly have to examine my responses to order to see if I am answering the way I would have in the victim roll...or if it is something SUZAN really wants in her life. It is a challenge..but one I am beginning to succeed at!

    The divorce hearing to finalize things is still months away...I was advised not to hurry, because I am going to be without health insurance when my COBRA benefit is over. So far I am not qualifying for state sponsered health care either! But, I did start the disability process...and I am sitting with fingers crossed hoping that I will be accepted. I know that is a long process with I am not holding my breath!

    As I said, FM has been lousy for me. I have had way more bad days than good over this winter...and with all the stress. I have a stbx husband who still tries to control me..and so there seem to be weekly battles about something! But I am staying positive..I know now that being out of that relationship is the best thing that could have occured. I am fighting the FM as best I can..and trying to do things that make me happy, even on the worst of FM days!

    I will try to post more..that is one of my recent get back to my internet friends!
    Thank you all for thinking of means so much!
  6. laceymae

    laceymae New Member

    Glad to know that you are still hanging in there...I think about you often.

    At least you have good support...Has your daughter came to grips with it all yet?

    I think you were starting to paint some? Maybe the fog, but if is it going? CKBall has posted some beautiful paintings. Wish I had a talent.

    Just keep hanging in and sticking up for your rights. Hopefully when some of the stress has lifted you will feel better.

    hugs and prayers to you

  7. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    So glad to hear from you and that you are doing pretty well. cll things considered. You are going through so much.

    Yes, take your time and do things right. Hope you get your SSD approved soon. That would be such a BIG help for you. Have thought of you since you have been gone. Sorry to hear that FM has been bad for you. Well, I am sure this stress (with your x has not helped at all) but in time you will feel alot better I am sure when all this is resolved.

    My dauaghter went through alot of what you are inc her divorce, and abusiveness in the marriage. She has come a long way since then and plans to marry probably sometime nest year and has a job now with insurance. She to has had some medical issure als whcih her x never helped her with. She had to pay for everything herself and no docs found much and goes to a homeopathic doc who has helped her alot. Stress can do alot of terrible things to the body as you know.

    Just continue to have hope as you have and do what is good or YOU for a chanage.

    Blessings and hugs,

  8. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    She and I don't talk about it much at all. But, she hasn't shut me out, and she has said at least a couple things that are semi I just keep trying with her. I just hope there comes a day when both she and the son I a living with can confront stbx. I believe that is something they should do.
    So far I think they don't want to deal with the emotions of it all...but in the long run, I believe that may end up causing them more distress. But they are adults, and will have to figure out their own way of how to deal with the ups and downs of their lives!

    As for painting, not much it is on my list too!