Symptoms are progressing

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SweetT, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    Some of you may remember me. I work full-time (I resigned from the beyond high-stress job, didn't work for 6 months in 2010, then took another full-time job at 20% less than what I was making, I'm in grad school (almost done now), now I have a daughter in college and the youngest one will be in college soon.

    Anyway, I've been married for almost 3 years now. We are a blended family-we both brought older children who grew up together into the marriage. It's been an adjustment. My husband is very passive-after work he wants to pop in bed and fall asleep to the tv. I'm authoritative and hands-on-after work and my internship, I want to know why I'm the only one that's requiring grown kids to lead productive lives. My husband made alot of assumptions (i.e. my daughters wouldn't need any guidance because they are good girls; he would be free to work 2 jobs and his only job would be to help pay bills and he wouldn't have to be involved at home with the kids/young adults; that I'd keep being able to work and pay half of the bills or that we'd move close to the city we grew up in if I had to quit work-which would mean his family would either pop up unannounced, or he'd be caught up in his family's daily family drama,etc.).

    Recently, my illness has been progressing. I have more pain flare days, and EVERYDAY at work, I fight to stay awake. If I get caught up in a freeway backup on the way to work, I'm fighting to stay awake. My memory is shot-I forget even the simplest things now and I'm agitated most of the time.

    I really need a part-time job working 4-hour shifts, but in this economy, it's not happening. It's either nothing or full-time, because full-timers are expected to do the work of 5 people.

    I recently took a day off and after getting up early like I was at work (because I had alot of things to do at home), I literallly fell asleep and slept between 2pm-4pm. I didn't realize it until after it was over, but my body needs to take a 2-hour nap around that time.

    I'm really sensitive to side effects, so I'm afraid to take Provigil. I realize that Provigil may allow me to work full-time or period a little longer.

    It seems like the perfect work schedule would be working Mondays&Tuesdays-09:00am-01:00pm; Wednesdays-off; Thursdays & Fridays-09:00am--1:00pm. Of course, I'd have to make $40 an hour at only 16 hours per week.

  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    It sounds like alot going on.

    If kids are still home. kick some butt,they need to help out. Your body is screaming at you to STOP. understand the need for work but taking Provigil to keep going isnt going to help.

    Falling asleep driving not good. It sounds like a major overhaul needs to be done. You may not have a choice if you dont stop now. I didnt and paid the price.
  3. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Time to make some changes.

    I totally get where you're at with your role at home. I am the one in our house who takes care of everything. Don't get me wrong, my husband is absolutely wonderful with me and my Fibro. He is very supportive, but he always thinks when he does something it's to "help" me - like it's my responsibility first and he's the helper.

    He will do physical things, I generally have to list out what needs to be taken care of, but the other normal 'LIFE" things, I handle totally by myself.

    I HAD to make some changes. NO WAY could I work in the office full time and take care of the household. That doesn't mean doing laundry, I can get help with that. That means, handling all of the other important things that it takes to run a home.

    I have to rest as often as I can. If I was home everyday, I'd nap everyday. Well, I'd try to anyway. I am absolutely ticked off when I don't get my rest because I know the next day I have to be in the office.

    What kind of work do you do? What skills do you have that you could transfer into something that you could make that kind of money (or close to). Without knowing anything, or insulting your skills =).... would you consider being an off site assistant to someone? Someone who earns a commission and who might pay you a salary or hrly wage than a percentage of commission? That's the situation I'm in now.

    See I'll work any hours if I'm home. I'm up half the night so I can always get things done.
    As it stands now, I absolutely could not report to an office every day early and stay all day. I remember when I could. =( I used to work two jobs, many years I did and not just for money but because I had two different opportunities that I loved.

    Like I said, I don't know your current situation, but maybe there are some different options out there for you, or at least some things to think about and maybe give you some hope for some change to come?

    I'd love to help you brainstorm!
  4. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    My husband is sweet also. However, he works a full-time job and one part-time one, and is just too exhausted to be the enforcer when he gets home. He also doesn't understand how severe my fibro fog is: I can forget an appointment that I just mentioned earlier that same day, I have no sense of direction (I have to talk myself through directions on how to get places in the neighborhood sometimes, so as not to get lost, etc.).

    Getting the kids to help was also mentioned. The girls do help with cooking and cleaning. My husband cleans our master bathroom. But of course, they are kids, so you literally have to kick butts for them to clean up to your standards :). One thing that I can always do, no matter how hard I'm flaring, is the laundry. And I can keep the bedroom picked up.

    My job? A county government worker, currently determining eligibility for state-funded childcare. I have also done child support (that's the job I resigned from after 10+ years). Sounds simple enough? Well, looking at applications on the computer ALL DAY EVERYDAY plus a super micro-mananger that tells you what to do and when to do it (she literally has us on schedules that say, "9:15am-9:45am, process an application". Some applications take an hour and a half, while another one might take 20 minutes. Plus, the sensory overload is getting to me again (all the noise and lights and traffic). Also, the repetitive movement is getting to me.

    The degree I'm working on-counseling. I'm a nice caseworker so I wind up counseling clients anyway. Rather than deal with clients crying because they didn't get their child support or can't get public assistance, I want to empower them to learn how to make it without those sources of income.