Talking on telephone just wears me out

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Lolalee, Jan 23, 2006.

  1. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I was just wondering if it is just me. When I talk on the phone my energy just drains right out of me. Consequently I don't take phone calls from some of my friends who are high-energy people unless I am feeling ok (which is almost never). I let them leave a message on my phone recorder and then call them back when I feel better. Problem is I have been feeling so awful lately that I hardly ever return phone calls. I am haunted with feelings of guilt for not returning the calls. My friends are nice enough to think of me and call me, but I just don't feel well enough to talk.

    I'm concerned that they will just give up on me.

    Does anyone else feel this way?
  2. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I just wish everyone with email me! LOL. I can sound upbeat in my messages, even if I am not. Some just talk on and on and I just wish they would shut up sometimes! It is our energy level controlling us and it is hard.

    Maybe you can call them at a prime time for you. Act upbeat. You can honestly say that you have not feeling well and have not been on the phone much because of it. Try and keep those friendships! Tell them that you started to lay down and remembered that they had called....so maybe it would be a shorter call....but do not put your gloom onto them. WOW, I know how hard that is. I am super bad about the phone anymore.

    Good Luck and many Blessings..........
  3. sniffles

    sniffles New Member

    I sure know what you are talking about!!!!!! There are lots of days when I am just to tired to talk to anyone. I know that sounds impossible to normal people, but it is true. I do the same thing and let the phone ring and some days if someone stops by unannounced and rings my doorbell, I don't answer the door because I just don't have the energy to sit and make small talk about things when it isn't important. I need my friends and family to care and I know if I do this to often, they will stop trying to check in with me and it is scarey and I don't know how to explain it to them so they will understand. I don't even understand it myself. We just have to give it our best try and hope those who really care will stand by us. Joyce
  4. busybusymom

    busybusymom New Member

    I feel the same way - I thought it was just ME!!! I have CFS. I think it is the mental energy and it just wears us out. It makes me really mad!!

    Jennifer
  5. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I am a real "Chatty Cathy" and enjoy talking on the phone everyday.

    But, holding on to the phone was murder. It would make my hand and arm go numb, and kill my neck because I would always tilt my head to the side.

    Until .... I went to Radio Shack and bought me a telephone headset!!! Completely solved my problems for $29.99!!!!

    Now, I sit and talk forever hands-free.

    I always used one at work--for the same reason. Then, when I retired, I really missed it. A few months after I left work, I had to go buy me one!

    It's a real lifesaver for me! LOL

    Hugs,
    Janet
  6. MamaDove

    MamaDove New Member

    I guess just another aspect of these dd's that I never knew existed until I experienced it myself...

    I have caller ID and ONLY answer when it's my doc or my Godfather, everyone else leaves a message...

    Not only can't my neck or arms deal with the holding of the phone, my brain does not compute...I will forget who I am talking to, start another subject out of the blue or just plain zone out and then I HAVE TO SAY, 'Sorry, I HAVE to go, I just don't understand what's going on'...

    I just wrote on another post about not driving, now this, guess I should print off my responses for my ALJ hearing coming up, maybe I won't have to speak at all to the judge, just hand him these posts...tehe...

    Another good topic!
  7. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    You sound like me. Several months ago, I posted a message about phones and how it tires me out to talk for very long. I try to maintain friendships, but it is hard. People who do not have FMS or CFIDS just can't understand how draining talking on the telephone is. But like someone else here said, it is important to maintain friendships.

    I, too, let the answering machine pick up most of the time and call the person back when I have a little more energy. We have a phone in our bedroom so I lay on the bed and talk. It makes it easier to talk longer since I am more comfortable.

    Ellen
  8. KewlJewLs

    KewlJewLs New Member

    That others with CFS & FM have some of the silliest things in common. I always thought I was the only 1 that was wore out after chatting on the phone for a while. My throat always hurts, glands swollen, headaches, and complete exhaustion is the outcome of most of my phone calls. LOL Actually that is how most of my days end!! I do the same thing most others do, I let the machine take most calls. It is unreal how something so SIMPLE, can be so overwhelming for us.

    I am so glad I found this board and just want to say...Thanks for the input and insight from everyone. None of the post are directed to me personally however, I can relate to almost everyone in one way or the other.

    XOxXOxXo
    Stacey
  9. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I avoid it when possible because it leaves me feeling drained.
  10. springrose22

    springrose22 New Member

    People with CFS especially get very worn out from talking on the phone. Remember, with CFS you get post exertional malaise or flu like symptoms following any physical, mental, or emotional exertion. I have explained this to my friends, and don't talk much on the phone. As you said emails are easier because you can take a break, and don't have to think so fast. You need to listen to your body, and you need to have people in your life who will listen when you tell them you can't talk on the phone like you used to. Your body is trying to tell you something. Listen to it. REST. Love, Marie
  11. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I love this message board. It has helped me so much to read that there are so many people who feel the way that I do. Thank you for taking the time to respond and to share your experience and your feelings.

    I went to a women's bible study this morning, then to the grocery store, Blockbuster and the library. When I got home I made a pot of tea and took it to bed where I remained the entire afternoon. It is 6pm and I'm still exhausted. Somebody posted something about "malaise". I can certainly relate.

    I was hoping to return some phone calls today because I was feeling a little better this morning. The calls will have to wait yet another day. Oh well!!
  12. SusanEU

    SusanEU New Member

    I was recently diagnosed with FM, and that is so true that I get exhausted on the phone, my throat and neck get so sore, that I have to let the person go. What a relief to know it is not just me.

    Sue in Toronto
    [This Message was Edited on 01/28/2006]
  13. GwenGlo

    GwenGlo New Member

    I have my ringer turned off most of the time. That is why I have voice mail.
    When it is turned on and my phone rings I get about 20 emotions, anger, dread, panic etc and almost have a nervous breakdown.
    I can relate to most of the replies except the ones who like to talk on the phone :).
    Gwen
  14. nanna4550

    nanna4550 New Member

    Wow, you spelled it out! This has been true for years. It is so exhausting listening to people and carrying on conversations. I dread having to call people that go on and on, knowing that it will drain me, but I have to call them (like my mom and friends) and take their calls because I care about them. I mentioned this to my husband who refuses to stay on the phone for long. He said that after 10 minutes just say you have to go and it was nice talking with them. I'm so worried about offending people that I haven't tried his suggestion yet. Someone said to set the timer when someone calls and when it goes off, say
    "oh that's my cookies, gotta go"
  15. hagardreams

    hagardreams New Member

    Thats scary to think that someone else understands what I have been trying to say about talking on the phone for years. I am sorry that there are others that feel like I do, but thank God some does understand. At least now I know that there is a reason for this. Its very frustrating!.
  16. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I was going to mention the timer, but someone else did. Another is (if you have a cordless phone) is to ring your door bell..."OH.I have to go, someone is at the door!" LOL.

    If someone is at home, you can say, "UH-Oh.....have to go, Fred (whoever) is wanting me to help him with something."

    "My dryer just stooped and I have to get things out, or they will not be fit to wear".

    "The dog wants out and I sure do not want any accidents from him"

    "I sure enjoyed this call, but I need to lay down now. Thanks for calling".

    And as one person said, "It was really great talking to you, but I have to go, as I have some things going on that I have to finish now".

    Another thing is that if you do naswer and no one responses to you right away.....hang up. It is probably an automatic call dialer that called your number and the person trying to take a poll or such has to switch to your line. HANG UP.

    YOU own the phone, the phone does not own you. The phone is not for others convience..it is for yours!
  17. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    I thought it maybe because we switched to cable phone, but it happens on any sort. I get very dizzy and worn out too. I think it may be something to do with having the earpiece directly to ear so I will try speaker and friends will have to put up with echo I guess. Love Crom
    Thanx for post as I was too scared I was weird to bring this up.
  18. betsboop

    betsboop New Member

    and my voice gets hoarse when i have talked too long.. i seldom answer the phone any more and just keep my phone calls down to very very close friends and email the rest of my friends..the only friends i have now are disabled friends ..they understand..my "normal friends" will "never" understand and just think i am weird or it is the meds that i am on..unbelievable..they don't even try to understand..