Teejkay

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Rafiki, Oct 22, 2007.

  1. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    I, for one, am very glad that you are here! I know, you know what I mean.

    You matter SO much!

    Peace to you,
    Rafiki

  2. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    I knew it was only a matter of time before mary would be yanked as it's against the rules. Don't know what I feel about that but, never mind, nothing can be done.

    I just want to say that I hope you're not too upset. I know how much effort you put into helping. If Mary can be stopped, every argument for stopping was certainly made.

    I don't suffer from depression (I'm so lucky!) but I did experience it for a couple of years while trying SSRIs for ME. They made me suicidally depressed and it was absolutely awful. I had no idea it was such a painful illness! I am humble in the face of it. For me, it was just a matter of getting off those drugs and back to myself and it was gone.

    But, during the time on those drugs I was obsessed with suicide and didn't do it only because I knew the children (adolescent stepkids who didn't even live with me then, nor I with thier father) could not withstand another suicide anywehre close to them. It's funny because I never thought about my being important to them, just that they must never have another one close to them.

    The other day one of my s/kids couldn't reach me for a few hours and she freaked out. She's going through a fragile time but even knowing that I was shocked when she confessed that she "actually thought" that if something happened to me she "couldn't go on". We just don't know how important we are to each other.

    I hope Mary makes it ok. We really did the best we could.

    I'm so glad that you got through your dark time the way you did. If I hadn't had the reason I had, the knowledge that people who have NDE report big trouble would have done it for me. I often share that info. and I'm glad you did.

    You are a very compassionate person Teejkay. I'm so glad that you are strong and wise, too!

    Peace to you,
    Rafkik

    [This Message was Edited on 10/22/2007]
  3. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    Thank you so much. I was just in the middle of writing her another post. I was wracking my brain to think of how to tell her that I wish she would choose life. I hit reply and when i went back to the MB for CFS I saw that the thread was gone. I searched and every trace of her is gone. I am very upset. I can't stop crying.

    I came over to Chit Chat because I wanted to try to start a thread about it but I wasn't sure what to say. Then I saw my name in the thread you started. Thank you so much for being here Rafiki. I bet you're just as upset as I am. I haven't even finished reading all of your post yet. I just feel shocked and dismayed about this. At least we know about her and we can continue to send prayers to her.

    This incident made me wonder how often this happens here. Maybe people are logging on all the time saying this but then get deleted before I even see them. I understand the reasons why they would be. This is very emotionally draining. I'm glad that we were able to reach out to her for at least a bit and I agree that every argument against suicide had been made.

    I'm going to read the rest of your post and respond to it again.

    Thank you so much, Rafiki, and hugs to all of you who followed that and tried to help or just sent good thoughts.

    tee

  4. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I just read the rest of your post and Wow! I sure am glad that you stayed here too. :) Your personal story is an amazing one. I'm glad you were able to get off the SSRI's and that you mean so much to your step-kids. You're right, there's no way for us to know how much we mean to others.

    tee
  5. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    Trust the Universe. It obviously happened the way it was meant to happen. Do not carry it with you. Put it down. You were splendid, put it down.

    Breathe and trust!

    with much metta all over your good self,
    Rafiki

    PS I just realized that the message I wrote in which I spoke about the kids having to withstand a suicide in the family and what that did to them was probably gone before you saw it. My message is probably a little bit confusing. Anyway, I couldn't let it happen to them again. That was one of the only rational thoughts I was capable of.

    You know, I don't actually regret experiencing drug induced depression as it has really helped me to understand what people go through. I had panic disorder but depression is so different and I just couldn't have know without this experience. Everything has a purpose.

    And, what happened with Mary happened exactly as it was meant to. She was given what she needed. Trust and do not be attached to the outcome, tender hearted Tee.




    [This Message was Edited on 10/22/2007]
  6. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I'm feeling better now. Thank you.

    tee
  7. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    I was editing and adding while you were posting.

    I'm so glad!

    Peace,
    Rafiki